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Square Beam HD Flashlight

By: on January 21, 2013
$59.77
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Hey kids, not only will Bushnell's Torch flashlight illuminate the bogeyman and monsters under your bed, its blast of a 165-lumen, perfectly square HD beam of light will probably blind them long enough for you to grab your Sap Cap and whack the ever loving green goo and blue ooze out of their sorry asses. Teach those punks to mess with you in your own, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles-themed room.

Grownups, you'll love the square beam flashlight too. Unlike conventional circular models, which emit irregular "blobs" of illumination, Bushnell's uniform LED light pattern creates bright, clean views of all objects within its range. For example, the Jack Daniels barrel ring that rolled under the couch, or a darkened campsite during late-night quests to find a place to poo.

The HD Torch's output lasts for up to 1-1/2 hours on two, 3-volt lithium batteries (included). Crafted of aircraft-grade machined aluminum, the flashlight is waterproof and features Bushnell's Find-Me glowing "B" on the rear button.

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The World's Most Powerful Laser

$299.95 from WickedLasers.com »

If bat shit looked like 1000mW of ice-blue lightning, the S3 Spyder III Arctic Laser would be the physical manifestation of bat shit crazy. As it stands, the world's most powerful laser is just fuckin' nuts. Wicked Lasers'...

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Rebel Microlight Fidget Spinner

$70 - $130 from ZeroHour »

Know, and probably love, Zero Hour's new Rebel Microlight Fidget Spinner in 30 seconds or less with one click. This one. The short demo video gives you the full tour of the visual splendor that comes with merging a pair...

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The World's Most Powerful Flashlight

$199.95 from WickedLasers.com »

It's the 21st century. Who buys a flashlight whose only capability is to shed light anymore? When I'm looking for my 1:12 scale Voltron in the attic, hunting zombies in the Ozarks, or self-examining my throat for the...

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Kootek Self-Defense Flashlight

$27.99 from Amazon »

Need a knife, a hammer, and a self defense club in a flash? Then you might want to carry Kootek's knife, hammer, and self defense club in a flash...light....

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AeroBull Speakers

$699 - $1,999 from Jarre »

Jarre loves them some funky speakers (remember the AeroTwist?) Their AeroBulls go canine with sound system design, turning French bulldogs into in-house HD and rechargeable travel speakers whose bark, I'd imagine, far...

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AIRTAME - Wireless HDMI Dongle

$299 from Amazon »

AIRTAME believes that "everyone should be able to show any content from any computer on any screen--wirelessly." Given that last time I tried to hook up my laptop to my friend Cornelius' TV to show him a slideshow from...

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CAT LED Flashlight with Magnetic Base

$10.99 - $15.14 from Amazon »

Fitted with COB (chip on board) technology, CAT's LED flashlight pours out a 175-lumen flood of light from anywhere you can latch or attach it. The long, rugged ABS body has a pocket clip at the back and a magnetic base...

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EcoGear FX Tactical LED Flashlight Kit

$42.99 from Amazon »

Check out the beam of EcoGear FX's TK120 flashlight. I think they call those CREE XML high-powered LEDs "tactical" because shining the torch in the dark helps you achieve an ultimate goal of not head butting a tree or...

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Gonex 18000 Lumen Flashlight

Sold Out from Amazon »

Know what 15 CREE XM-L T6 LEDs look like? When turned off: surprisingly, cells dividing in a petri dish. When turned on: less surprisingly, retinal damage. The Gonex 18000 lumen flashlight isn't abusing superlatives when...

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Tiny Monster 3500 Lumen Flashlight

Sold Out from Amazon »

They call it a flashlight, but turn on the handheld Tiny Monster, or TM26, from NiteCore and you might find the 3500 lumens it emits look more like a punch in the face from the sun. They say it's the world's smallest...

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MBI Mini Flashlight Matchbook

$32 from indiegogo »

Strike a MatchLight. Actually, just press its head lightly against any hard surface to set this little flame ablaze. The MBI MatchBook is an 8-strong set of tiny LED flashlights lined up and packaged just like their fire-summoning...

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UO Smart Beam Laser Projector

$459.97 from Amazon »

Celluon takes a slightly more humble route, bragging only about its PicoPro's ability to fit in your pocket, but SK Telecom goes straight for the pinnacle of accomplishment, calling its UO Smart Beam Laser Projector The...