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Zombie Bottle Opener

By: on July 02, 2012
$12.95
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One perk to acquiring the zombie virus--I mean in addition to looking all sexy and green-tinged and bloody--is super-calcified teeth that enable sweet party tricks, such as popping open beer bottles with a single incisor and gnawing people's faces off. NeatoShop pays morbid homage to at least one of these feats with its nifty Zombie Bottle Opener. Crafted from sturdy urethane resin and solid steel around the mouth, and painted by local artisans, no two openers are exactly alike, but all are equally capable of both attacking the holdout bottle caps keeping you from your German Hefeweizens, and making your buddy's prissy girlfriend bristle.

Zombie Bottle Openers measure 1 3/4" x 4 1/2" x 2".

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Flayed Flesh Garters

Sold Out from Etsy »

Take peek-a-boo garters to the next level: peek-a-boo blood vessels and layers of muscle tissue, courtesy of open-wound prostheses and stocking accoutrements from Etsy's Meaghan O'Keefe. A pair of unpainted latex prostheses...

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FireWater Water Bottle & Lantern

$16.55 - $21.02 from Amazon »

The FireWater Multi-Bottle from Seattle Sports combines a water bottle, a lantern, and a waterproof storage container into one collapsible and rechargeable piece of gear. Handy....

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Gropener One-Handed Bottle Opener

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No, Gropener is not what it looks like Uncle Harry is doing to Cousin Ricky's new girlfriend at the family reunion. Gropener is a smoosh-together of the words "grab" and "opener," done to signify what this clever tool...

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B.A.T. Coin Multi-Tool

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If it looks like a B.A.T. and cuts, opens, ignites, and carries like a B.A.T., it must be a Bring Anywhere Tool. In the case of the B.A.T. Coin multi-tool, one barely bigger than a quarter too....

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Kinkajou Bottle Cutter

$49.95 from Amazon »

Kinkajou. The word sounds like it applies to a precocious, yet cuddly, mammalian sidekick that sits on your shoulder and surreptitiously swipes peoples' two-bite brownies and tubes of lip gloss during walks through the...

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Roo Balls Kangaroo Scrotum Bottle Openers

$29.95 - $32.95 from Roo Balls! »

Want to be a true baller? Then grab that Triple IPA and crack it open with the scrotum of a Red Kangaroo. Or an Eastern Grey. Roo Balls turns (humanely and legally acquired*) castrated kangaroo bits into beer and wine...

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Fontus Self-Filling Water Bottles

$165 - $200 from Fontus »

"Self-Generating Water Bottles" might be a better description of Fontus' incredible new designs. Presuming they work as stated (this is another crowdfunding campaign after all), Fontus Airo and Ryde bottles don't just...

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TankH2O SCUBA Tank Water Bottle

$19.69 from Amazon »

The TankH2O, a water bottle designed in the image of a SCUBA tank, invites you dive into and suck down the kind of water that will hydrate you after you finish diving into and sucking down the kind that makes you gag...

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Umoro One Shaker Bottle

$25 from Umoro »

As a supplement fiend--I especially like the ones whose claims have not been evaluated or approved by the FDA--I gotta recognize the Umoro One first for concept alone. A sport bottle whose lid doubles as a powder and...

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Fruit Infuser Water Bottle

$20.56 from Amazon »

People think I drink only Kool-Aid and sodie pop because I'm immature and unrefined, but really it's because water is such a yawn. I need the excitement and intrigue of carbonation and colors insulting to nature in my...

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Personalized Lovecraftian Bottles

$93.02 from Etsy »

Pick your poison. Actually, pick two: a spirit to fill one of Orion Oddities's sick hand-sculpted bottles with; and a Lovecraftian beast to guard its contents. The Italian design shop molds the likenesses of Cthulhu and...

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Cthulhu Titanium Bottle Opener

$80 from A. Jacques »

Maybe Alex Jacques' interest in a Cthulhu bottle opener began with his interest in straight razors. The craftsman started out, and continues to forge, what he hopes you'll consider "the finest handmade straight razors...