417

Black Playing Cards

By: on February 14, 2014
$13.95
Check It Out

Black like my ex's heart, and black like the magic I'm going to use to make her rue the day she left me crushed and dejected inside a four square. Anyone who wants to know what's wrong with me, here's your answer: 1) Julie Polanski; 2) 5th grade. This deck of cards is also black like every moment of my life for the past 20 years. I think I'll go play some solitaire.

Balance Wu Design wanted to design a deck of cards "based on a simple concept of pursuing coolness." So they made them black. Because it worked for ninjas. And Johnny Cash. And bottled water. The black-on-black deck contains extra stylized high cards with futuristic twists: warrior Kings and Jacks, androgynous-looking Queens, and a set of skeletal Jokers. Happy pitch-black poker nights.

Muchas danke to Manny for the Dude Product Tip.

Check it out

Throwing Card Knives

Discontinued

Watermelons. You poor bastards. Always on the receiving end of novelty weapon violence. The Gotcha Cap. The Unbreakable Slugger Umbrella. The Blade Driver Crossbow. And now...the Queen of Hearts. That bitch....

Buy Now

Drunk Stoned or Stupid

$16 from Amazon »

Usually the only people I credit for being clever, relevant, and hilarious are myself and sometimes Stephen Colbert, but the cards of party game Drunk Stoned or Stupid demonstrate there might be a few others out there...

Buy Now

Exploding Kittens Card Game - NSFW Edition

$19.99 from Amazon »

Unlike run-of-the-mill kitten explosions, Exploding Kittens: NSFW Edition contains content that is not suitable for your workplace or children. And even though no one seems to be saying it, I'm guessing a card game featuring...

Buy Now

blk. - Black Bottled Water

$46 from Amazon »

We wondered too, but the answer is no. blk. black bottled water is not part of an SNL skit la black caulk or Colon Blow. It's a real artesian spring water from aquifers in Canada's Sandiland Forest Reserve. And it takes...

Check it out

Urchin Bean Bag Chair

$19,500 from Blackman Cruz »

The Urchin Bean Bag Chair. Just in case your BDSM bordello is missing a touch of magic from the sea. Designed by Ursula Blackman Cruz, this leather-upholstered lounger is certainly a standout in home decor. Some might...

Buy Now

Cards Against Humanity - A Vicious Party Game

$25 from Amazon »

Cards Against Humanity is basically a more blatantly raunchy and politically incorrect version of the game Apples to Apples. And Apples to Apples is basically an evolution of Mad Libs that better lends itself to large...

Buy Now

Ka-Bar Tactical Spork

$7.88 from Amazon »

See, it's a fork-spoon combo up top with a...knife!...that pulls out from the handle. And--and!--it's black. Ka-Bar's Tactical Spork is a tactical tool for tactical eating if I've ever seen one. Imagine the stealth and...

Buy Now

Shark RAW Blank Motorcycle Helmet

$239.99 from Amazon »

Shark's RAW Blank may not be as attention-grabbing as the Batman motorcycle helmet, but: 1) the stylized muzzle and LP-looking side discs will still turn some heads; and 2) for the sake of your credibility as a rider...

Buy Now

DIY Jet Black Hellfire Burgers

$9.17 from Amazon »

I wouldn't be surprised if the secret ingredient to concocting a jet black burger that looks like it's been roasted on the flames of hell was one that inflicted a weeklong case of Montezuma's Revenge. But, somewhat ironically...

Check it out

code:deck Playing Cards

$10 from Varianto:25 »

Who wants some undiluted geekery? code:deck is a standard set of playing cards individually described by rank and suit in one of 13 different programming languages. As maker Varianto:25 points out, the cards should arouse...

Check it out

Dice Rings

$19.99 from CritSuccess »

I'm from the Price Is Right generation. We like to roll the dice and spin the wheel. Also, I'm kind of into pretending I'm a 6'7" impenetrable warlord with webbed toes that assist me in making skilled water escapes. Also...

Check it out

Carbon Fiber Playing Cards

$120 from Kickstarter »

Yes, they shuffle. But they can't do the bridge/easy stack after the riffle, so if you want a deck of carbon fiber playing cards, you'll have to be willing to press them together and realign them into a neat pile yourself....