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Exploding Kittens Card Game - NSFW Edition

By: on October 25, 2015
$19.99
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Unlike run-of-the-mill kitten explosions, Exploding Kittens: NSFW Edition contains content that is not suitable for your workplace or children. And even though no one seems to be saying it, I'm guessing a card game featuring cats going BOOM! is not appropriate for your kittens either. Unless you're trying to teach them a lesson.

Exploding Kittens: NSFW Edition is for anyone who is "into kittens and explosions and boob wizards and sometimes butts." Basic gameplay entails players drawing cards until someone gets the Exploding Kitten, which takes him out in a ball of fire and fur with it. ... Unless! ... If the bomb-drawer has a Defuse card, he can save himself, and the ticking feline, using sophisticated Bond tools such as laser pointers and belly rubs. All Exploding Kittens cards that aren't exploding kittens serve to move, deactivate, or get the F away from them.

What makes the NSFW edition of the game NSFW is its delightfully crude, obnoxious, and politically incorrect artwork. Expect everything from farts to fornication. Expect a good time.

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Samurai Pet Armor for Cats & Dogs

Don't let that samurai-armored Shiba Inu's smile fool you. The dog is ready for feudal Japan levels of combat. See his samurai sword? Hiding there in his mouth? If I were you I'd armor up, find a weapon, and brace yourself....

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$20,000 Hypoallergenic Designer House Cat

Discontinued

The Ashera is possibly the only cat that is acceptable for a single male to own. Because it's about the size of an ocelot, and weighs 30 freakin' pounds. And that's 30 pounds of genetically-gifted muscle, not 30 pounds...

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Cute Ass Animals Underwear

$35 - $56 from Etsy »

Etsy vendor Nichola's Knickerockers, underwear with adorable animal faces strategically sewn across one of my favorite places on earth, are pricey. But to all ladies who often get mistaken for Victoria's Secret models...

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Cat Battle Armor

$500 - $520 from Etsy »

Quick, someone get this cat a lance! He's scheduled to joust one of the guinea pigs from G-Force at high noon and only just finished his battle armor fitting. I don't know if he's ready for this. The pigs have been training...

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Contropiede Transparent Foosball Table

$16,100 from YLiving »

I wonder if the Contropiede Foosball Table's removal of color and opacity will make it easier or harder to keep my eye on the ball. (So I don't screw the game up for all the other kids who are trying to develop their...

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Delectables SqueezeUps - Go-Gurt for Cats

$15.76 - $17.99 from Amazon »

I can has creamy tuna Go-Gurt? Yes, cats of the world, thanks to Delectables SqueezeUps, you can. Fire up your tongue and mind your claws because this is how this treat session's gonna go: I hold and squeeze, you lick...

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The PuttSkee - Skee Ball Golf

$499 from Amazon »

And the PuttSkee skee ball-golf hybrid even folds up into an oversized luggage / encyclopedia salesman-style rolling crate so you can hold tournaments next to the keg on Fridays at the office, turn it into a drinking...

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Boob Cube

$9.50 from Amazon »

The Boob Cube is for idiots. And for geniuses. And for idiots who want to convince people they're really geniuses. And for geniuses you want to make feel like idiots. So, yeah, pretty much an ideal gift for any person...

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Taxidermy Animal Drones

When I first read about, but hadn't yet seen, Copter Company's taxidermy animal drones I though they just sounded kinda goofy. Then I got a look at the Orvillecopter here. A spread-eagle taxidermied quad-cat-ter flying...

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Throwing Card Knives

Discontinued

Watermelons. You poor bastards. Always on the receiving end of novelty weapon violence. The Gotcha Cap. The Unbreakable Slugger Umbrella. The Blade Driver Crossbow. And now...the Queen of Hearts. That bitch....

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Porn: The Game!

$19.99 from Porn the Game »

One time I read a book willingly and it was called The Average American Male. The entirety of its plot basically consisted of the narrator thinking about what it would be like to have dirty sex with every woman he saw...

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Cat Cool Pot Bed Pet Cooling Tray

Japan Trend Shop says the Cat Cool Pot Bed "functions as both a pet bed and as fun decoration to make your cat look cute." I thought they were going to say the dish made from "cooling aluminum" functions as both a cat...