The only thing worse about work than working is co-workers. Like the guy I seem to have started an ass war with after he left some anus chocolates on my desk and I countered with a pair of Manties. Today I got Shreddies. Fart-filtering underwear. But I'm stopping it there. I'm done humiliating below the belt.
I'm ready to hit him in the face.
With glitter. Gobs and gobs of glitter, ejected directly into his piehole the moment he sits down at his desk and tries to move his mouse. Thank you rodent traps, duct tape, fishing line, and Cubicle Warfare.
John Austin wrote Cubicle Warfare: 101 Office Traps and Pranks because he is the bro who's always got your back. Whether the dude in the cube next door deserves it for stealing your powdered sugar Donettes, rumbling the phlegm around in his throat every 5 seconds, or just consistently showing up to the office on time and making you look bad, Austin's collection of desk-based offenses will show him the error of his ways. It will also give you almost 6 months' worth of material, so you'll probably never have to repeat a Cubicle Warfare prank until, like, the 32nd job you're fired from.
A sampling of basic Cubicle Warfare pranks includes: the Paper Clip Chain; Bottomless Box; and the Sticky Note Office. Some more advanced high jinks are included in the book too, such the Freezer Bomb, Chair Chaos, and Textless Keyboard.