Shreddies Fart-Filtering Underwear
Leave it to the Brits to class up farts and poots. And also to create a solution that spares those who didn't just drop a silent stink bomb from inhaling the fumes released by the one who did. Shreddies is a line of men's and women's underwear designed to neutralize the odors of flatulence.
Sold as men's boxer and hipster briefs, and ladies' bikini and hi-waisted briefs, Shreddies fend off the assault of gaseous torturers of the nose with Zorflex activated carbon panels--the same used in chemical warfare suits--that run along underwear-ers' bunghole region. Panels are highly porous, and therefore able to trap the perfumey goodness of that extra chili dog for disarming before it can storm the olfactory senses of anyone within a 20' radius.
Shreddies regain their odor-eliminating powers anew each time they're washed, ensuring even the foulest of the flatulent can abide by the Shreddies motto, and "Fart with confidence."
Farts a little on the wet side? Like, you think you farted, but an unbiased third party might assess that you've shat your pants? No worries, dude, Shreddies has your ass covered too. Check out their Incontinence underwear line.
Muchas danke to Laughing Squid.