Etch Morphing Digital Clock

$1,375 Etch »

The Etch clock engraves every minute of your day into stone. Figuratively speaking. Really it uses the trickery of 3D digital numbers and a colored elastic membrane to give the eye-catching appearance of chiseled time...

Escape & Evasion Gun Belt

Discontinued

From forth the shark's belly comes a belt for your own. And while the Escape & Evasion Gun Belt didn't make it out of the Tank alive its creator, former CIA officer Jason Hanson, is still hoping you'll give the strip...

Heng Balance Magnetic Switch Lamp

$69.99 - $85.99 Amazon »

Newton's Cradle meets abacus meets the first day of creation in the Heng Balance Lamps. Li Zanwen created his series of square, oval, and circular beechwood desk lamps with a pair of magnetic wooden balls on strings at...

AIRE Digestive Tracker & Fart Predictor

Discontinued

You probably think FoodMarble's AIRE is redundant. You know exactly what your digestive tract turns into a room-clearing onslaught of the fartsies. Beans. Beer. Looking at a bag of Taco Bell. But do you know why these...

The Original Danish Dough Whisk

$7.90 Amazon »

My girlfriend showed me this Danish Dough Whisk because I spent most of yesterday bitching about winter and how I'll have nothing to do for the next 3 months but sit around and bake bread. I don't know why I said that...

Schmitz Mittz Super Duty UtilityArmor Gloves

Discontinued

Schmitz Mittz calls their gloves "hard hats for your hands." These Super Duty versions of their UtilityArmor Waterproof line add abrasion-resistant Kevlar fourchettes* as reinforcement between the fingers (the standard...

PARKIS Effortless Bicycle Lift

$254 - $317 PARKIS »

How effortless is it to PARKIS your bicycle? Here's a GIF. Looks like sliding the front wheel onto an elevator and sending 'er to the penthouse. Glide the cab back down to dismount. PARKIS says the process is so simple...

Knorks

$12.09 Amazon »

Knork: it's the camping-ready Spork's urban, cutting edge cousin. Here to help you slice and pierce your filet mignon with a single hand and a simple rocking motion. Perfect for the knife-renouncing avant-garde, plus...

Moody Pet Fling-Ama-String

$34.90 Amazon »

Nothing beats a hearty laugh had at a cat's expense. Aw, come on. Unlike a cucumber, Moody Pet's Fling-Ama-String is great fun for the kitties too. The battery-operated toy looks a little like a strongman game, but instead...

The Ring Pipe

Sold Out Lindsey Hampton »

The Ring Pipe is like a unicorn poop poppy seed bagel that will get you high. Very nice. Very nice indeed. Lindsey Hampton hand-forms and fires each piece in stoneware and then finishes them in either a blue or pink ombre...

Avalanche Wheeled Roof Rake for Snow Removal

$123.58 Amazon »

The Avalanche Wheeled Roof Rake is a tool that reminds me how much I hate doing home maintenance. But since Albie down the street's mama says he's too young to crawl around on my own mama's roof to shovel the snow off...

Ship in a Bourbon Barrel Decanter

$175 Amazon »

Sloshed at sea, awash in a swell of liquor. It doesn't sound that nice when you say it, but this hand-blown decanter giving a whiskey barrel spin to the class ship in a bottle sure looks pretty alright...

Portable Pullup & Dip Bar

$275 - $295 Pullup & Dip »

January 1. Bring on the pushups and dips. And by pushups I mean these delightful orange hangover cures, and by dips, the leftover guacamole and beefy chili queso to continue the New Year's celebration through NFL Sunday...

American Bench Craft Dual Snap Key Fob

Originally Kickstarted as a stitchless leather wallet with metal fasteners, American Bench Craft operates out of a Boston workshop filled with hand tools and traditional techniques. Brothers Jason and Chris developed...

Morakniv Eldris Neck Knife

$24.62 - $29.85 Amazon »

I'll pass on a knifed neck, but a neck knife? That I will take under consideration. The Morakniv Eldris is a 2.2" 12c27 stainless steel fixed blade, won a "2016 Scandinavian outdoor award" for its functionality, quality...

Micro USB Rechargeable Lantern

$45 Amazon »

Tiny but pretty damn powerful, Goal Zero's Micro USB Rechargeable Lantern is the perfect little buddy to accompany you home this New Year's Eve when you're too drunk and ambitious / stubborn / blacked out from society...

Zus Charging Cables

$16.99 - $19.99 nonda »

While they won't make you bulletproof and superpowered like the AdrenaSuit, Zus Charging Cables might make you stop wanting to shoot, slam, and telekinetically explode things because your cheap-ass cord tore again. The...

Delta In2ition 2-in-1 Shower Head

$148.52 - $173.65 Amazon »

I like a focused rinse on my man parts in the shower. I bet some of you dudes out there, and especially some of you ladies, would agree. Having both a static and a detachable shower head in the bathroom is a nice little...

Apocalypse Shovel

$18.99 Amazon »

Time to bury 2016. Mykel Hawke's Apocalypse Shovel will help you whack, impale, and chop it up on its way into the ground too. A super rugged survivalist's multi-tool, the Apocalypse Shovel V 1.0 incorporates a fixed...

Shower Beer

Shower Beer sounds like a bottle of ale-scented novelty soap. Which would be cool. But what Shower Beer really is is even better: a 6-ounce bottle of actual pale ale conceived and packaged to be downed in 3 perfect gulps...

Collapsible Dice Tower Storage Boxes

$37.61 - $43.95 Etsy »

Basically Wooden gives you a few different tower options for stashing away your pregnant Lyanna Stark dice, honorable-to-the-death Ned Stark dice, raised-to-be-a-bastard infant dice, and Three-Eyed Raven Bran Stark dice...

Knuckle Duster Safety Bell

$25 Amazon »

For runners, cyclists, and skaters, the Runbell provides the option of giving pedestrians and other manual motorists in your path polite notice of your presence and passing. So you don't have to yell at them, plow them...

Brass Pour Over Drip Coffee Maker

Sold Out Amazon »

Have some industrial-strength coffee from an industrial-designed coffee maker. This brass pour over brewer offers up a pretty slick means of making drip table side with its mug-sized wood base, steampunk-y adjustable...

AirJamz Bluetooth Air Pick & Music Toy

$39.99 Zivix »

Pick away at your air guitar and make real music with the AirJamz, a Bluetooth-powered guitar pick that can make riffs and cords, plus drum beats, keyboard runs, and sound effects as you do your best Hendrix charade...