My Little Golden Book About Ruth Bader Ginsburg

$5.57 Amazon »

My Little Golden Book About Ruth Bader Ginsburg brings the late, great Supreme Court Justice RBG into homes as both an educational bedtime bonding tool for parents and children, and the best piece of collector's merch...

Stove Top Stuffing Dinner Jacket

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What is a Stove Top Stuffing Dinner Jacket made of? An interior lining of minced chicken, soaked and crisped bread crumbs, and savory caramelized onions. The outside, in a surprise appearance, and an affront to people...

Aromatherapy Shower Steamers

$17.99 - $19.99 Amazon »

Obviously I'm writing about Cleverfy Aromatherapy Shower Steamers because my wife put them on her Christmas list this year, and I'm recommending them to you dudes as great options for gifts for your girlfriends and wives...

The Gingerbread Kama Sutra

$1.44 Amazon »

Can't sex me, I'm the Gingerbread Man! Oh yeah, Gingie? The Gingerbread Kama Sutra disagrees. Equal parts tasty and sexually adventurous, Patti Paige's cookbook combines her signature recipes for gingerbread and icing...

Feisty Pets Rude Alf the Blood Nosed Reindeer

$69.99 Amazon »

Rude Alf the Blood Nosed Reindeer is another unexpected, twisted stuffed animal from Feisty Pets, this time a delightful perversion of Santa's top sleigh driver, Rudolph, made just for the holidays. Rude Alf and his Blood...

Hot Ones Truth or Dab the Game

$11.12 Amazon »

Hot Ones fans have been putting together their own DIY hot sauce challenges ever since the First We Feast YouTube show and its eternally poised and chill host, Sean Evans, gained popularity a few years ago. Hot Ones'...

My picks for the 17 best Dirty Santa Gifts for 2020 sees Dirty Santa preparing to release the Kraken. Dirty Santa pleased to show off one set of nuts while cracking another. Dirty Santa showing a preference to butts over boobies this year. And, in that vein, Dirty Santa fixin' to make a Dirty Sanchez...

Bexar Goods Leather-Wrapped NES Console

And you thought an NES console couldn't get any sexier. Bexar Goods has taken tech skins to luscious leather levels, wrapping a classic Nintendo Entertainment System in premium buck brown harness leather from Wickett...

Haley's Original Corker

$9.61 Amazon »

Halley's Comet might be more impressive when it comes to celestial visuals, but Haley's Corker is where it's at for not spilling leftover wine in your fridge, and preserving open bottles with an airtight seal. And - no...

Pint of Cinnabon Frosting

$5.99 Cinnabon »

If the holidays are good for anything, they're good for grabbing a spoon and a pint of Cinnabon Signature Frosting, and digging in with no regrets. The most wonderful time of the year? Psshhh. Not a chance, but 30 minutes...

Beetlejuice Handbook for the Recently Deceased Sneakers

Sold Out Amazon »

According to the Beetlejuice Handbook for the Recently Deceased Sneakers, live people ignore the strange and unusual. But [creepy distant expression and eyeroll] I, myself am strange and unusual. Therefore, I shall draw...

Aim Like a Jedi Not a Stormtrooper Vinyl Toilet Decal

$8.99 Amazon »

Aim Like a Jedi Not a Stormtrooper. It's solid liquid advice from a vinyl toilet decal, not only because most toilet owners would prefer their toilet users' pee to land in the bowl rather than outside of it, but also...

Ugly Christmas Face Masks

$9.99 - $10.99 Amazon »

Ugly Christmas Face Masks. Oh for the love of the Baby Jesus do I hope that next Christmas we can look at these Pop Funk pandemic PPE creations and say, "Ugh, those are so 2020."...

Cuisinart Flat Top Grill

$342.99 Amazon »

The beauty of this flat top grill, the Cuisinart 22" Two-Burner Griddle, is fat. Fat from your burgers. Fat from your brats. Fat from your steaks. Fat from your pork chops. Melting out under the heat of 30,000 BTUs, but...

Motorola Tech3 Smart True Wireless Earbuds

The Motorola Tech3 Earbuds are true wireless audio devices. Unless you prefer to be less true and more wired, in which case you can attach the earbuds' Sports Loop for a more secure fit. Or take the Tech3's to their third...

My collection of 14 of the best holiday decorations for 2020 contains a major Christmas gift to you from me: it is free of toilet paper, hand sanitizer, face masks, elections, republicans, democrats, and any reference to global pandemics and politics...

The 25 Sauces of Christmas Hot Sauce Advent Calendar

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Ho(t), ho(t), ho(t)! The 25 Sauces of Christmas Hot Sauce Advent Calendar is both less and more daunting than appearing on Hot Ones, or putting together your own DIY Hot Sauce Challenge. Less because, as an advent calendar...

Giant Party Size Twinkies Baking Kit

Sold Out Amazon »

Twinkie, Twinkie little star / how I wonder what you are...still doing in your giant Party Size Twinkies baking pan. Get! In! My! Belly!...

E72: What Is This Thing?

$32.10 Amazon »

Welcome to Edition 72 of What Is This Thing?, my recurring visual riddle series consisting of one simple photo - see above - and one simple question: what is this thing?...

Christmas Tree Wine Bottle Rack

Sold Out Amazon »

O Christmas tree, O Christmas tree, how bubbly are your branches! Red and white, maybe some orange too, if you're into funky wine. The Christmas Tree Wine Bottle Rack is a stunning holiday gift for girlfriends, mamas...

Stretch Clock - Make a Clock Out of Any Object

Oh good, what the Stretch Clock really is is a giant rubber band with a quartz movement and hour and minute hands you can assemble and stretch around any object to make yourself a DIY timepiece. With all the pedantic...

Reindeer on the Spit Ugly Christmas Sweater

$26.96 Amazon »

Wonder what happened to create this ugly Christmas sweater. Is Santa spit roasting a reindeer because his sleigh crashed a week ago and no one has responded to his SOS calls, or because he's just hungry and Mrs. Claus...

Cholula x simplehuman Touch-Free Hot Sauce Dispenser

$130 Cholula »

Cholula and simplehuman have collaborated to bring us a hot - well, more like mildly spicy - holiday season with their Touch-Free Hot Sauce Dispenser...

MaskFone - Face Mask with Built-In Earbuds

$49.99 MaskFone »

Meet MaskFone, a new kind of pandemic proTECHtion. MaskFone is face mask with a built-in microphone and earbuds. It combines personal safety - and the safety of those around you - with the convenience of using your phone...