Household

Industrial Container Side Table

$249.99 - $288.88 Amazon »

For all their heft, hardiness, and hardware, I'm sorry to say I don't think these Industrial Container Side Tables lock. So, apologies dudes and ladies, you're still going to have to find a better place to hide your weed...

Retro Coca-Cola Vending Machine Paper Towel Holder

$29.99 Amazon »

When you spill your Coca-Cola, clean it up with...more Coca-Cola! Yuk, yuk, yuk. This Coca-Cola Vending Machine Paper Towel Holder is fronted by a 1950s-era Coke dispenser that would make the perfect nostalgic gift for...

Dog Grass Grow Bowl

$28 Etsy »

Don't worry, dog owners. Dog Grass isn't that kind of grass for dogs. It's not even the Dad Grass hemp CBD kind of grass. And it isn't a cutesy kit with a dog theme for growing your own weed. Dare I say, at least for...

Ninja CREAMi One-Pint Ice Cream Maker

$199.99 Amazon »

"CREAMi" isn't typically a word I'd use to describe a ninja, but when we're talking an ice cream maker from the skilled and stealth kitchen appliance brand, then yeah. This thing is CREAMi like a Ninja. Ready to assassinate...

Lucky Stradley Ceramics

Too bad Mother's Day is over. One of Lucky Stradley's snotting ceramic yarn bowls (this one above is named "Witt") would have made the perfect gift for Mom...

LEGO Art Rolling Stones Tongue & Lips Logo

$149.99 LEGO »

You can't always get what you want, but if you try sometimes...and wait 'til August 1st...you can get LEGO Art's Rolling Stones Tongue & Lips Logo set. Joining the likes of The Beatles, Star Wars Siths, Marilyn Monroe...

Prone Cushion

$129 - $159 Prone Cushion »

Prone Cushion, huh? They say it's the world's first cushion designed for ergonomic support while lying down, and specifically while lying on your belly reading, laptopping, or zombie-watching TikTok videos. But this "Prone...

Self-Watering Bottle Planter

$13 kikkerland »

I always knew pouring my leftover wine in plants would make them thrive. This self-watering Bottle Planter from Kikkerland just confirms that ferns and philodendrons love a good Cab Franc as much as I do...

ScooperDuper Folding Bench Scraper

$16.95 Amazon »

Make your food prep ScooperDuper neat and ScooperDuper easy to transfer to your pot, skillet, or bowl with Dandy's ScooperDuper folding bench scraper...

Arcade Cabinet Cat House

Sold Out Amazon »

Whoa. Talk about an augmented reality arcade game. These cats aren't just 3D, they're eerily lifelike, from their bright eyes to their swishing tails to their fur that...actually feels like fur! Holy...oh. Wait. These...

Microwave Rice Cooker Mug

$36.45 Amazon »

This microwaveable Rice Cooker Mug is a terrific idea for people who want just a single serving of rice, and don't want to spend the time cooking it on the stovetop. Or buy an electric rice cooker. Or use pre-cooked frozen...

re:Mix Use-Your-Own-Jars Sustainable Blender

$210 - $263 Open Funk »

The re:Mix blender is here to add "blender container" to the long list of ways my wife, She-Ra: Princess of Power, has come up with to use mason jars. The use-your-own-jars blender's clever integration of them might even...

The Sizzling Scooper for Too-Hard Ice Cream

Ice cream that's too hard to scoop might not be the most pressing problem facing the world right now, but, I mean...it is a problem. And it's a problem, unlike most of our other problems, real and existential alike, that...

Black+Decker Bug Zapper

$49.09 Amazon »

The Black+Decker Bug Zapper is an insect killer that looks as handsome as the house flies, mosquitoes, gnats, and wasps it bzzzzt!s will look nasty lying dead in a pile in the zapper's collection tray...

Enviroskulls

The T-Rex, Dragon, and Swamp Monster Enviroskulls might eat you, but at least you can rest assured they're not here to destroy the planet. Enviroskulls is a nonprofit, non-commercial organization that creates dazzling...

Umbra Rain Automatic Soap & Sanitizer Dispenser

$49.98 Amazon »

Welp, Umbra, in years past I would say an automatic soap and sanitizer dispenser, regardless of how snazzy it looks and acts, isn't what anyone has in mind when they say, "Make it rain!" But in this age of pandemics that...

UFO Cat Litter Box

$189 Amazon »

I doubt this UFO Cat Litter Box is going to be the most functional and high-performing litter box you ever own, but it sure as cat sh- is gonna be the most out of this world...

100 Challenging Novels Scratch Off Chart

$25 Pop Chart »

If by "100 Challenging Novels Scratch Off Chart," you mean 100 novels that are difficult for a dude of average IQ - OK, maybe slightly below average IQ according to the free online IQ test - to read and understand, then...

Giant Corn Planter

Sink your teeth into this Giant Corn Planter, some sweet corn if I've ever seen an ear of it, and the latest piece of oversized food art from Third Drawer Down. The corny houseplant home is made from moulded resin, and...

Homer in the Bushes Sponge Holder

$19.99 Etsy »

Back it up, Homer. Slowly, quietly into the bushes, eyes peeled for anyone who might have - ha! Gotcha! I see those beady eyes and that bulging belly trying to sneak away into a thicket of scouring pad. Get back out here...

Chef's Burn Balm

$15.90 Etsy »

Sizzling hot in the kitchen should refer to your steaks and stir-fries, not your skin, Chef. This handmade Chef's Burn Balm from Touch of Herbs is a "masterfully formulated" blend made for chefs who grab a hot handle...

Nite Ize Mega Gear Ties

$16.31 - $19.89 Amazon »

Available in 32" and 64" lengths, Nite Ize Mega Gear Ties look like the twist ties I use to keep my bread fresh got pushed through a portal into World 4 of Super Mario Bros. 3*. That is to say, they're huge!...

5-Head Projector Floor Lamp

$179 Etsy »

Normally when you tell me something has 5 heads, I assume it's something I wouldn't be interested in. Like a hydra or a person with a huge forehead. But this 5-head projector floor lamp is awesome! You can use attached...

AirHood Portable Kitchen Range Hood

$89 - $109 AirHood »

The AirHood portable kitchen range hood could have saved my friend Trevor $2,500. When he moved into his house - a flip done by a team of 100% incompetent people with 0% pride in workmanship - his kitchen range did have...