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Hefty Cinnamon Pumpkin Spice Trash Bags

Posted: September 24, 2023
Hefty Cinnamon Pumpkin Spice Trash Bags
$24.95
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Hefty describes this box of trash bags as "Ultra Strong Cinnamon Pumpkin Spice," and while I'm assuming the first part refers to the tensile strength of the 13-gallon tall kitchen can inserts, the way it reads is as a modifier of the concentration strength of the bags' Cinnamon Pumpkin Spice aroma. To which I must steal a line from the ladies of the 90s and say, "Ugh! Gag me with a spoon!"

As a disclaimer, I should say I hate all scent-infused trash bags. Lavender, Sea Breeze Febreze, Morning Rain, Baby's Butt, whatever it is, it is never going to mask the smells of smelly trash, but it will definitely co-mingle with them, and create a new, superiorly awful smell somewhere between a freshly bathed dog who just rolled in shit, and an old lady doused in lotion and perfume who died in her house 3 days ago. So there's no way I would give Hefty Cinnamon Pumpkin Spice Trash Bags a fair shot in my kitchen. And I'm afraid I can't even stay neutral in discussing them here.

Please don't buy these vile takes on waste containment, these abominations of the official scent of Fall. Cinnamon Pumpkin Spice Trash Bags are gross perversions of the spirit of trash bags, and have no business anywhere near your empty wrappers, soiled saran wrap, used coffee grounds, gnawed-clean chicken wing bones, or moldy leftovers.

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