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ToppCock Silver Odor Neutralizer Gel

By: on November 11, 2016
$9.99
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I didn't have enough room in the title to add "...for Man Parts." Do you think it would be too offensive to give a bottle of ToppCock Silver Odor Neutralizer Gel to this guy I know at work as an Anonymous Santa gift? Like, worse than the internal deodorant pills I gave him last year? People can be kind of touchy about being told they are stink bombing the rest of us out of the office!

What I like about ToppCock Silver's pitch is that it isn't a perfume-y cover up, but a stench neutralizer. The company says its natural antibacterial tea tree oil and aloe vera active ingredients will turn down below-the-belt essences of human bio-rot without making you smell like a medicine cabinet or piece of gum. Silver also comes in gel form, so it's less messy to apply than powder, though should dry without a sticky residue so you're ultimately left with cockandballs that feel all powdered and ready for the ball. Putting ToppCock on top can also help soothe irritation and itch.

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Amabrush 10-Second Automatic Toothbrush

$90 - $113 from Amabrush »

Amabrush says it's the World's First Automatic Toothbrush, but watching the demo video makes me think it's just the first time someone thought to cross a Blizzident with a vibrator....

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Waterproof Socks

$35 from Amazon »

Showers Pass made these waterproof socks to keep athletes' and other F the rain weather warriors' feet dry when they run, hike, and bike in anything from light drizzles to torrential downpours....

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Aerogel - World's Lightest Solid

$35 - $55 from BuyAerogel »

Not only is aerogel the world's lightest solid with a composition of 99.8% air (carbon dioxide) and 0.2% silica gel, and not only does it have sick nicknames, such as "frozen smoke" and "blue smoke", but it also has the...

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G2 Turbo - Wearable Fan for Back(pack) Sweat

$19 - $23 from Kickstarter »

Part of me hopes the Presti G2 Turbo becomes the Little Crowdfunding Project That Could. Because I just saw The Goonies on cable for the 400th time, and this aerator of back sweat - what inventor Edwin Wang calls the...

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Blizzident - 6-Second Toothbrush

$299 from Blizzdent »

It looks like someone put the inside of a sea urchin on the inside of a mouthpiece, but if Blizzident really works, I wouldn't care if it looked like one of the McPoyle brothers' armpits. I'll be able to brush my teeth--and...

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The Odorless Toilet Fan

$169.95 from Amazon »

The Odorless Toilet Fan claims to be "the #1 way to eliminate #2 odor." The unit installs inside your toilet tank to inhale all the foul-smelling air your bowel movements produce so you don't have to....

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Cookiray Anti-Odor Pendant Lamp

Looks like the Cookiray Anti-Odor Pendant Lamp went with Slimer Stew as the sample dish in its demo video. What the ghosts-from-hell else smokes neon green on the stovetop?...

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My Shiney Hiney Brush Set

$16.88 - $19.98 from Amazon »

Well. I wouldn't argue it isn't dirty. I'm just not sure I care enough to go to the lengths required to make my hiney shiney. I think this cleansing brush set for the bunghole is geared towards women anyway, judging by...

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Dyson Pure Hot+Cool Link Air Purifier

$502.54 - $584 from Amazon »

Sure, the Dyson Pure Hot+Cool Link Air Purifier has the Dyson name going for it. The air de-polluter and fan also has both Warm Me and Blow Me settings, so you can use it all year 'round to help achieve an optimal level...

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Yank Me Candles

$19.95 from Amazon »

Yank Me Candles are terrific gag or white elephant gifts in the vein of WTF Prank Candles, but with a different kind of blood pulsing through them. The latter have delightful sounding names, such as Apple Pie, on the...

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Down There Repair

$15.95 from Sam's Natural »

Application of Sam's Natural Down There Repair fixes two major male discomforts and social embarrassments: chafed crotch and smelly crotch. It can also be used preventatively, thwarting these afflictions from striking...

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5" Battery Operated Clip Fan

$34.99 from Amazon »

I saw this little battery operated clip fan for beach chairs, backpacks, treadmills, and strollers when I was looking at Seville's UltraSlimline Oscillating Tower Fan. That one got some good press in a Best Fan roundup...