Tongue-Mounted Toothbrush

Posted: April 10, 2013

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Here are some problems with not brushing your teeth: brown teeth; hot buttered ass breath. Here are some problems with brushing your teeth regularly: gum recession due to hard bristles and/or overzealous brushing techniques; the hassle and requirement of leaving the couch. Tongue 2 Teeth, a tongue-mounted toothbrush, solves these problems one and all.

Each slip-on tongue cover has a dual coating--one on the inside to kill bacteria lurking between taste buds, and one on the outside to whiten teeth and remove the potpourri of coffee, egg sandwich, and Beefy Crunch Burrito from your breath. Since each Tongue 2 Teeth brush is disposable, units will not accumulate bacteria between uses as does a normal toothbrush (like, from your toilet) and creator Adel Elseri has developed packaging that allows for touch-free transfer from container to tongue.

Elseri promises that Tongue 2 Teeth oral hygiene enablers "will soon be in a store near you." Until then, tide yourself over with the Rinser, which may demand holding, brushing, and getting off the couch, but rewards you for your efforts with a geyser of water in the face when you're done.

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