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Saturday, January 28, 2012
R2D2 Apron
$75 from Etsy »

What woman wouldn't want a gift that reminds her both of her domestic duties and the George Lucas empire you eat, breathe, and talk about nonstop? R2D2 apron = Valentine's Day, solved. The newest addition to the Haute Mess...

Thursday, August 25, 2011
Mechanical Christ - Technological Crucifixion
$18,500 from Etsy »

Though probably the type of installation that has to be seen in person for true appreciation, the photos are still pretty darn phenomenal. I feel like you could stare at this marvel of intricacy for an hour every day and find...

Saturday, September 22, 2012
Professional Racing Simulators

Downgraded in size, upgraded in awesomeness. These J3SIM Professional Racing Simulators have been tailored for both race centers and home use to give drivers the the same adrenaline explosion and propensity to projectile vomit a few laps in a real Formula 1 or Indy car would. Available in four different models, the simulators sport aerodynamically perfect fiberglass bodies, with F1 car seats finished...

Tuesday, January 31, 2012
Star Trek Enterprise Coffee Table
Discontinued

NCC-1701 is ready for reception of coasters, remote controls, back issues of Scientific American, and holey crew-socked feet. Craftsman Barry Shields spent a month forging the USS Enterprise from ash, poplar, and cherry woods...

Monday, December 03, 2012
Combat Cigar Humidor
$70 - $100 from Combat Humidor »

Combat Cigar Humidors take Made in America to the next level. The waterproof stogie canisters are also custom crafted to order by disabled Marine Corps veterans out of Spanish cedar encased in an M13 7.62 x 51 linked ammo...

Friday, January 20, 2012
Tiny Best Friends Necklace - Pee and Poo
$27 from Etsy »

Best friend relationships are difficult. It seems there always has to be a leader and a follower. How these roles are formed is a question best left to someone other then me. But these two, pee and poo, seem to have it figured out. Sure, poo might get a little jealous that pee goes off on his own most of the time, and he can never hardly ever go anywhere on his own (pee ALWAYS seems to want to...

Thursday, October 25, 2012
When to Bolt & Pee App
FREE - $0.99 from RunPee.com »

Since I have the bladder of a camel (and the strength of an ox and the valor of a lion and the manly aggression of a rhino and the heart-melting adorability of a baby polar bear) I don't really need an app to tell me when...

Thursday, November 15, 2012
DIY Sriracha

Nothing like a little homemade flames-of-hell-spouting rooster sauce to take the edge off Thanksgiving with the fam. Granted, buying a bottle of Sriracha will only run you around $5, and cooking it up yourself will probably...

Saturday, June 16, 2012
ZBoard - Weight-Sensing Skateboard
$499 from ZBoard »

Like the RYNO One Wheel Motorcycle, the electric, weight-sensing ZBoard won't drop mandibles with its gravity-defying tricks or blow off toupees with its unearthly speeds. But it will make for a simple, significantly less...

Wednesday, August 08, 2012
Dr. Who Dress
$104.42 from Black Milk Clothing »

Out of this world? How about out of this Whoniverse? Black Milk Clothing's James Lillis ups the ante once again with the Who Dress, a TARDIS homage that would probably make the eyes and jaw of the Eleventh Doctor himself go...

If bat shit looked like 1000mW of ice-blue lightning, the S3 Spyder III Arctic Laser would be the physical manifestation of bat shit crazy. As it stands, the world's most powerful laser is just fuckin' nuts. Wicked Lasers' (absolutely, 100% legal) handheld bolt of pure spectral power counts amongst its marketable skills the ability to: Sear through ornery plastic, pop bitch-ass balloons, burn continuously, 24/7, without sustaining damage to its laser diode, function in 9 different operating modes, including Strobe, Constant Wave, SOS, Beacon, and Tactical Hibernation, emit 0.25 Lux of light at a distance of 6,856 meters, turn anyone it hits in the eye at a distance of 149 meters or less into Ray Charles, minus the musical talent and soul.

And if that weren't enough to get it laid every day for the duration of its 5,000+-hour serviceable life, Guinness is currently testing the S3 Arctic for the official title of World's Most Powerful Laser.

The S3 Arctic Series Laser resides in an aircraft grade aluminum chassis that's smaller than a standard flashlight.

Thursday, February 21, 2013
Shark Slippers
$49.90 from Etsy »

Although I find amputation as hilarious as the next guy, I have to draw the line at slippers parodying a shark biting off a human's foot, i.e., a threat that is real. Know who's laughing the hardest at this joke? The sharks....

Monday, December 26, 2011
Unfortunate Cookies
$8.99 from Vat 19 »

A sarcastic spin on the traditional fortune cookie, unfortunate cookies tell it like it is. Each pack includes 10 witty, fun and sometimes scathing or disgusting fortunes that are sure to surprise whoever cracks them open...

Saturday, March 24, 2012
Remote Control Drink Float
$54.99 from Home Wet Bar »

There's a reason they invented the Remote Control Drink & Snack Float. It's the same reason they call it "lazing" in the pool. It's because I'm being lazy. And because sometimes when I'm being lazy I get thirsty. And kind...

Sunday, November 18, 2012
Riot Training Experience
$125 from Wish.co.uk »

You've defied gravity (and hung onto your lunch) plummeting to the earth on the Insano. You've battled zombies through the racks of Nordstrom. Now it's time to get behind--or in front of--the shields, helmets, and batons of...

Sunday, January 06, 2013
Glow-in-the-Dark Moon Pillow
$120 from Etsy »

Finally, an accurate representation of the moon glowing in the dark. Notice how it isn't square-shaped or blazing all the colors of the rainbow like this alleged "Moonlight Pillow". According to Edward J.H. O, the man behind...

Tuesday, December 11, 2012
Digital Measuring Cup Scale
$22.77 from Amazon »

Foodies, space conservationists, and those who don't have rad to the max mamas to cook all of your meals for you and deliver them weekly in Tupperware containers with clear content labels and smiley faces and notes about how...

Thursday, December 27, 2012
A Book of Beards

Author Justin James Muir deems the 86 follicular face thatches crawling through the pages of his A Book of Beards "stunning." Though I may have chosen a more manly descriptor, such as bomb, boss, or Zangief, I would have to...

Monday, March 11, 2013
Gods of Rock Vinyl Wall Clocks
$41.14 from Etsy »

It's pretty sweet how Thai artist Anant Lopas chose Slash as the lone Guns 'n' Roses personality to turn into an intricately carved vinyl wall clock because it means that even people in the Far East know Axl is a poon. In...

Tuesday, May 01, 2012
The Dutch Tub
$6,560 from Weltevree »

According to manufacturer Weltevree, using the Dutch Tub is like "slipping inside a teacup." I'm not sure submersing myself in a vat of English Breakfast has ever been at the forefront of my fantasies, but, hey, these wood-fired...

Tuesday, October 30, 2012
GloveShot Slingshot
$189.95 from Montie Gear »

Joerg Sprave is a force to be reckoned with in the world of slingshots. Much like I am a force to be reckoned with in the world of soft-serve ice cream consumption. His high-performance GloveShot incorporates a hand brace...

Thursday, July 12, 2012
Kisai Online LCD Watch
$169 from Tokyo Flash »

Hot off our Tokyoflash Watch Giveaway, we heard the Japanase timepiece visionaries have released a brand new turbo-lit piece of wrist candy. And no math skills are required to read this one! Just a little Magic-Eye-optical...

Monday, October 15, 2012
Soap Flakes

I've been holding out with the Soap Flakes. Hoping that designer Nathalie Stämpfli would put the wall-mounted and handheld bar-soap-grinding devices into production and sale before I posted them here. Every day I handle a...

Thursday, August 02, 2012
Habanero Honey Badger BBQ Sauce

This ain't no Pooh Bear honey. Fortified with freshly chopped habanero peppers, the meaty smoke of a hot grill, and a subtle dose of bee nectar, Honey Badger BBQ Sauce will grab you by the nuts, make you lick the sun, and...

Thursday, February 21, 2013
Test Tube Chandelier
$247 from Etsy »

Those talks of collaboration? Beaker and Martha Stewart have finally hooked it up. Test Tube chandeliers satisfy the overhead lighting needs of science geeks and prima donnas alike with their authentic glass chem lab cylinders...

Saturday, April 14, 2012
Double Rainbow LED Hula Hoop
$225 from Etsy »

Epileptics, please approach with caution. Everyone else, behold: hula hoop begat glow-in-the-dark hula hoop begat LED hula hoop begat cascading double rainbow LED hula hoop. This dual-circuit ring o' Roy G Biv is the definitive...

Friday, May 18, 2012
Library Wallpaper
$42.71 from Mr Perswall »

Sweet, no more pretending I read books for the sake of home decor. Library Wallpaper, chock full of colorful tomes arranged studiously on faux shelves, gives me all the academic street cred I need. And for legitimate bookworms...

Bar
Thursday, December 20, 2012
TARDIS Flask
Sold Out from Etsy »

So...are you sick of the TARDIS yet? I'll grant that it's starting to run its interdimensional course with me, and a few Time Lords have sent word that its 15 minutes are ticking. But the difference between this kitschy, growing-tiresome...

Thursday, July 12, 2012
Marvel Comics Bra
Sold Out from Etsy »

Pow! Kaboom! SHAZAAAM! It's Marvel superheroes defending boobs from evil sag and boring flesh-colored polyester. If you liked the Glow-in-the-Dark Batman Underwear Set, take a quick eyeball stroll through Megan Elizabeth's...

Sunday, July 15, 2012
Marty McFly Hat
$29.10 from Amazon »

Here we have the one single thing* Back to the Future II got right in its big-screen predictions for the 2010s: trippy-looking neon spectrums are indeed the current rage. The pillow, the double rainbow hula hoop, and now the...

Friday, January 20, 2012
Brain Sucking Zombie Pipe
$250 from Etsy »

When zombies get to your neighborhood Voodoo priest, everyone wins! Sure, he's going to inhale the amygdalas directly from the heads of your loved ones, but as a reward for your assistance and cooperation, he'll convert their...

Saturday, March 31, 2012
QLOCKTWO Watch - Time in Words
$665 from Biegert & Funk »

QLOCKTWO may be the key to ending the millennia-long battle between numbers geeks and word nerds. It unites the two in timepieces that spell out, letter by letter, the hours and minutes of the day. German designers Biegert...

Saturday, November 24, 2012
Bleeding Zombie Clown Target
Sold Out from Amazon »

The original Tactical Bleeding Zombie Target provides hours of strategic and graphic training for ZDay vigilantes, but until now, shooting practice accessories did little for those who hate both zombies and clowns. Which is...

Friday, September 16, 2011
Zombie Bert & Ernie T-Shirt
$20.95 from 604 Republic »

Bert and Ernie, long suspected of being gay (or bi at least) make their first appearance as zombies... as depicted on this t-shirt, and still fail to quell rumors of their questionable heterosexuality. That's why the duck...

Tuesday, July 17, 2012
The Dark Knight Rises Car
$387,000 from Lamborghini »

When the Dark Knight rises he'll be chillin' in carbon fiber, revving a 700 HP V12 engine, and surging from 0 to 62 mph in 2.9 seconds. The Lamborghini Aventador LP 700-4 makes its big screen debut--and probably one of its...

Monday, September 12, 2011
Hollywood Hills Mansion - 9010 Hopen
$8.65 million from 9010 Hopen »

Who would guess that what looks like a noninvasive skin rejuvenation clinic from the street opens into a panorama of contemporary cool with walnut floors, sultry lighting, and drop dead (literally, if you're not careful) views...

Tuesday, February 07, 2012
Ghost Pepper Super Hot Candy Balls
$7.99 from ThinkGeek »

Get ready for the uncontrollable "O" mouth, exhalations of fire, and streaming tears of blissful discomfort only a few Victoria's Secret models, and Bhut Jolokia, the world's hottest pepper, can extract from your otherwise...

Tuesday, February 19, 2013
Willy Wonka Flask
$17.50 from Etsy »

Willy Wonka looks bound and determined to F you up. Check out that sinister smirk. Like he's doing the devil's bidding. I bet he's left-handed too. Which means he'll encourage you to take swigs from your Wonka Flask with your...

Tuesday, March 12, 2013
Portable Wooden Atari 2600
$1,240 from Ebay »

Some guy with perhaps a slightly warped idea of what people are willing to pay for a 1980s video game console has covered a portable Atari 2600 VCS in CNC-machined, yacht-varnished wood and artistic embellishments. Looks kinda...