Unbreakable Slugger Umbrella

$119 - $199.95 from Amazon »

Look at that dude standin' on his umbrella! Aw snap, he just wailed on an 80-pound heavy bag with it. Holy crap, now he used it to hack up a watermelon! That's sufficient enough evidence for me to believe the Unbreakable...

OKO Odyssey 6-in-1 Water Filter Bottle

$49.95 from OKO »

OKO, pronounced "ooko", means "eco" in Swiss German. The company's line of water bottles with built-in filtration systems incorporate a customized blend of food-safe, BPA-free plastics and water purification technology...

Your Inner Wolf Chair

$2,565 from Duffy London »

Everyone has a wolf within. Even if it's a low-rung Beta that consists predominantly of envying the musculature of Alcide Herveaux and Tyler Lockwood, or succumbing to guilty pleasures, such as MTV's Teen Wolf, and Amazon's...

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32 GB iPad Mini with Retina Display

Giveaway: 32 GB iPad Mini with Retina Display

Seven-point-nine inches. It's a respectable length in some areas of life. In the tablet world though, 7.9" is a Mini. And more than respectable. By many, Mini is coveted. If you're one of the covetous, click here and...

UFO Soap Dispensers

Runner up to the Alien Abduction Lamp in the category of Best Application of 1950s Era Extra Terrestrials to Common Household Objects: UFO soap dispensers. Duncan Shotton's design plants a spaceship pump atop a neon yellow...

Concrete Wrist Watch

$399 from GSelect »

My 5th grade teacher often asked me if my head was filled with concrete, and at the time I got the sense it was an insult, but now that I see the beatific masterpiece that is 22 Design Studio's 4th Dimension Concrete...

Simple.TV - HDTV & DVR for Cable Cutters

$149.99 - $399.99 from Simple.TV »

Simple.TV is the latest in the vicious volley of cable companies screwing us, and us screwing them right back. For those fed up and ready to disavow cable altogether...but bummed about not being able to watch Modern Family...

Hush Moonshine

According to Hush, "The moonshine business was built on confidence, loyalty and the ability to keep secrets." That's a nice way to put it. Nicer than, "The moonshine business originated as an illegal and criminal activity...

The Brief Safe

$18.99 from Amazon »

Uh, those are gross. And while I know gross is the fundamental point of a poo-stained pair of briefs with a hidden, Velcro-sealed compartment in the fly...dude...those are gross. And it gets worse: according to The Brief...

DIY Gamer Kit

Technology Will Save Us. At least the company will. Their line of DIY technology will save us from idle hands, clumsy fingers, and thumbs up our butts. The latest, a DIY Gamer Kit, encourages the inquisitive first to...

Star Wars Shooting Targets

Discontinued

Apparently, we're allowed to take aim only at the Dark Side. Sneaky Studios didn't design any of their Star Wars shooting targets with Luke or Han or Yoda behind the bullseye, which in a way cuts out an entire buyer demographic...

Moldable Plastic

$16.95 from InstaMorph »

The next time you throw your hands to the sky and lament, "Argh! If only I had a doohickey with a flat lip on that end and a kind of hook-claw on the other that's small enough to fit in this slot here, and strong enough...

Abeego Beeswax Food Storage Wrap

$18 from Amazon »

On top of the fact that plastic is systematically destroying our earth one molecule at a time and stuff, using saran wrap is an enormous pain in the ass. It tears off the roll all jagged and jacked--if it tears off at...

Game of Gnomes: Throne of a Thousand Shovels

$55 from Etsy »

After their zombie gnomes ate most of the rest of the lawn ornaments, artists Chris Stever and Jane DeRosa had to go back to the casting board to create an installation that would return order to the front yard. Meet...

Patriots Being Badass Prints

$25 from Etsy »

These patriots heard the battle cry of Team America, and hollered back an even louder Fuck Yeah! From Paul Revere's Midnight Ride on a Tron Light Cycle to Abe Lincoln wielding an M16 and giddy-upping on a grizzly bear...

Mosler RaptorGTR

$700k from RaptorGTR »

The Mosler RaptorGTR compares itself to the Bugatti Veyron SuperSport and Lamborghini Aventador. But only to point out that, in terms of power-to-weight ratio, it is better than both of them. (Though in terms of marketing...

Demon Bells

$149.99 from Demon Bells »

Just in case the implications of heaving a 72-pound concentrated mass of steel back and forth near your head doesn't scare you enough, DemonBells have added the creepy faces you see in your nightmares to the mix....

SingStand Home Karaoke System

$59.28 from Amazon »

I'm not much of a singer but I do enjoy going to the karaoke bar and singing Clarence Carter's smash hit "Strokin'" for all the ladies every now and again. Seems like I'm always one upped by a stocky guy in a flannel...

Work Sharp Knife & Tool Sharpener

$129.95 from Amazon »

Did you know there's a Hall of Fame for knife makers? Well there is. And Ken Onion is in it. And when he's not fulfilling his Hall of Fame knife-making duties, he's collaborating with Work Sharp to design this Knife &...

Ninja Hand Claw Climbing Tigers Spikes

$10.31 from Amazon »

Perfect for the aspiring ninja or make believe superhero, these will have you scaling trees in your backyard in no time. Made from pure black stainless steel. Just be careful you don't hurt yourself. Being a ninja is...

The Lean Mean Green Machine

Part superhero transportation, part adult sized go kart, one thing is for sure, this is a suicide machine. But think what fun you'll have right up until the point of death! And then you can have all of your loved ones...

DolfinPack Wearable Water Storage

$36.97 from Amazon »

It's a Dolfin rather than a platypus because this water storage backpack for athletes and outdoor adventurers is the first hydration pack made to go underwater. So in addition to supporting the H2O levels of runners...

'Till Watch

$125 from Amazon »

Projects Watches describes its timepieces as wearable architecture. I don't think they mean literally wearable architecture like the Sleep Suit, but maybe more like how if you take a building and extract its defining...

Rubik's Cube Mini Fridge

$149.99 from ThinkGeek »

If you can solve this Rubik's Cube in 2 minutes or less I'll give you 1 million dollars. Awwww, shucks. Yeah, I did know the the segments don't actually move. Why else would I put the offer on the table? I don't think...

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SteakStones Sizzling Steak Plate Set

Giveaway: SteakStones Sizzling Steak Plate Set

Meat lovers, sharpen your canines and whet your incisors. Here's your chance to enter to win a pair of SteakStones Sizzling Steak Plate Sets for tableside seasoning, searing, and devouring of your favorite marbled slabs...

3D Clue

$199 from Amazon »

Professor Plum in the dining room with the...3D glasses, suckah! Iconic board game Clue has followed Hollywood feature films into the 3rd dimension with its own 3D addition to your family fun nights. No glasses required...

Life-Size Iron Man Statue

$4,497 from Iron Man Statue »

Outstanding. Not just that it's a life-size Mark 42 statue from Iron Man 3, but that whomever forged it deemed "life-size" to mean "Robert Downey Jr.-size", which is actually more like garden gnome-size. Good thing Iron...

Shrine Sneaker Duffel

$185 from The Shrine »

Dirty, germy shoes nestled against your white shirts and boxer briefs. Not cool. Neither is cramming your sneakers in a bag's slim outer pocket and having them come back out all misshapen and degraded. In response to...

Krazy Beaver Super Shovel

$89.99 from Krazy Beaver Tools »

I want to know what crazy beaver Krazy Beaver Tools encountered that would make them think up a shovel that looks like this. My entire crotchal region recoils into my bladder at the mere sight of its teeth. Those aren't...

LithiumCard Portable HyperCharger

$39.99 from DudeIWantThat.com »

Slip a LithiumCard Portable HyperCharger into your wallet for just $39.99. That's 27% off retail value for a limited time from Dude Exclusives....

SwageU Bluetooth Headphones

$55.99 from Amazon »

Rokit Boost adds the SwageU Bluetooth Headphones to their line of Swage ear gear (those who prefer the round to the oblong look can also check out the Swage Sports.) Lightweight with magnetic earbuds that release from/connect...

The Map of Zombies

What they lack in intelligence they make up for in contributions to the entertainment industry. Jason Thompson's Map of Zombies (complete, hi-res version here) traces and visually depicts by physical characteristics...

Dos Boobies Baby Onesie

$12.99 - $16.99 from Amazon »

I don't always drink milk, but when I do I prefer Dos Boobies. No slogan has truly arrived before it gets a meme, and no meme has truly arrived before it gets a T-shirt. Or, in this case, a baby romper. Take The Most...

Personal Radiation Detector

$18.99 from Amazon »

The RADTriage Radiation Detector is a U.S. Military-grade personal dosimeter, which I need because the homeless guy outside my office is always warning me about how the government is secretly allowing high levels of radiation...

WaveJet Motorized Surfboard

$2,500 from WaveJet »

"Aquamotive Technology" and "Personal Water Propulsion" devices are what WaveJet water pods term themselves. I think that's a fancy way to say "Go-Go-Gadget surfboard". Rechargeable and controlled wirelessly with a wristband...

The Jedi Path: A Manual for Students of the Force

$59.99 from Amazon »

According to high-ranking officers of the Galactic Republic, through wars and rebellion, only a single copy of The Jedi Path: A Manual for Students of the Force has survived. They add, "It is now passed on to you." Holy...

Tikker Countdown to Death Watch

$79 from Amazon »

Here's a swell gift for the person you hate most in life. The Tikker watch is set to countdown to its wearer's death. Oh sure, its creators try to spin it as a timepiece of happiness. The box even reads, "Tikker: The...

Philips Sunrise Simulation Alarm Clock

$69.99 from Amazon »

I'll still probably want to Monkey Fist Philips' Wake-up Light to East Jesus when it begins its simulation of the sunrise at 10:30 each morning, but maybe the gradual brightening of my basement lair will remove some of...

Doody Head Poo Flinging Game

$18.19 from Amazon »

Box Contents: 2 Hats; 3 Doodies. In life we sling mud and we talk shit and also many animals with opposable thumbs literally throw their excrement, so...uh...it's only logical that someone created a party game wherein...

Star Trek: The Next Generation Hoodies

$59.99 from ThinkGeek »

They may be only moderately reminiscent of the uniforms Picard & Co. wore in Star Trek: The Next Generation, but definitely these hoodies will be more comfortable, breathable, and sported acceptably by all shapes and...

Flat Panel Heater

Sold Out from Amazon »

One time I stepped outside my back door and it was -8 degrees and the snot froze in my nostrils. That time was yesterday. But during these frigid winter months, instead of jacking up my home's central heating system...

Floating Tablecloth

It seems that until the rest of us figure out how to consistently conquer and defy gravity like David Blaine, floating objects will enjoy a comfortable niche in the market of cool crap. Floating mugs, floating lamps...

Cake in a Can

$7.25 - $9.07 from Not on the High Street »

The Food Ministry makes Cake in a Can. Well, really they mix up dry cake ingredients and seal them inside an adorable cylinder of recyclable metal. Then they ship them to people who are too lazy or inept to follow the...

Han Solo Ice Cube Tray

$9.99 from Amazon »

"I was under the impression it would hold molten carbonite as it states clearly in the title this is a carbonite MOLD and it's very poorly constructed for this purpose. Secondly, it's SMALL. No, you can't put people in...

The Shield - Tech Jacket with ID Protection

$99 - $249 from Avid Union »

Maker Enthousis says their Shield Tech jacket (and hoodie) line has superpowers. And I'm not even going to call BS on that claim. Anymore, any piece of equipment--or in this case, wearable textile--able to save my identity...

Sodium Acetate - Hot Ice

$9.50 from Amazon »

They call it hot ice because sodium acetate is extremely unstable (probably moody and demanding too) and begins hardening immediately as it drops below its melting point of 58.4 to 58 degrees C (about 136.5 to 137 degrees...

Edible Greeting Cards

Although these edible greeting cards look a little girly, I am willing to overlook that trait on account of the fact that I can eat them, thereby destroying any evidence I ever received one. Also, I do love me some 100%...

Dark Matter Solid Carbon Fiber Ring

$500 from Black Badger »

Carbon fiber for your personal hygiene, carbon fiber for your personal safety, and carbon fiber for your personal style. Black Badger's Dark Matter rings are made of solid, F1-quality carbon fiber plate, with each piece...

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Year's Supply of Beef Jerky

Giveaway: Year's Supply of Beef Jerky

Enter to win an entire year's supply of California cut-and-cured beef jerky from Get Some Jerky! That's 52 bags, 5 savory flavors, and a $364 value! Holy mouthwatering, protein-packed cow!...

Will It Waffle?

$7.47 from Amazon »

The questions that keep us awake at night: Am I about to get canned? How am I going to tell her I spent the money for new minivan tires on a really sick crossbow? Is that lump under my armpit a gland or cancer? Will it...

Boston Marathon Course-Simulating Treadmill

$3,999 from ProForm »

Training for the Boston Marathon? Or any marathon? Want to replicate an especially rigorous and badass hike you took on your vacation through the Dolmites? The iFit-enabled, Google Maps-charged Boston Marathon 4.0 treadmill...

9-1/2-Foot Remote Controlled Bald Eagle

$499.95 from Hammacher Schlemmer »

The bald eagle. The symbol of American freedom soaring majestically through the air. It's magical. Stirring. Glorious. It's...uh, it's flying kind of low. It's--holy crap! It's about to T-bone that tree! Cornelius, you...

Girlfriend Pillow

$36.44 from Amazon »

These pillows aren't new to the market, but then again, neither are the all-consuming feelings of loneliness and despair that overtake us as we try to fall asleep at night. So maybe it's time to check out a tried-and-true...

The Mansion From Funny People

$75 million from Luxury Real Estate »

Maybe the most classically beautiful and inspired piece of real estate currently for sale in measurable spatial dimensions. An absolute knockout, and so innocent looking! Five shiny Sacajawea dollars say this PYT from...

VPN Unlimited Cyber Hacker Protection

Guard yourself against hackers and release your device from networks trying to restrict your access to Web content! Get a 3-year subscription to VPN Unlimited's premium plan for just $19. That's 70% off its regular price...

Decode the Time Watch

$99 from Tokyo Flash »

I know I've said this before, but my cache of interesting stories is running dry so here we go again: someone recently told me that schools no longer teach kids to read analog clocks because kids all have digital watches...

Alite Designs Monarch Chair

$57.98 from Amazon »

I know Alite designed its Monarch chair for easy-carry, low-rise camping and festival comfort, but with back to school time upon us all the poor bastards who actually have to go back to school, I was thinking this might...

BBQ Dragon Fire Accelerator

$49.95 from Amazon »

This Dragon doesn't breathe fire, it breathes air. But this air perpetuates fire, encouraging it to burn faster and stronger and continuously until its services are no longer needed, at which point water steps in to extinguish...

Pulmonica Breathe-Better Harmonica

$99.95 from Amazon »

So I finally found my cure for smoker's cough. According to the blonde lady in the Pulmonica video, this pulmonary harmonica is the first of its kind, designed to help improve breathing in people of all ages and musical...

MakerBot Thing-O-Matic 3D Printer Kit

$1,299 from Makerbot »

If you're not familiar with 3D printers yet, it's time to start familiarizing yourself. A 3D printer actually "prints" an object you design on your computer by laying down successive layers of material. This offers the...

Multi-Tool iPhone Case

Discontinued

Who goes anywhere without their phone? My guess is zero people. Who goes anywhere without a pocket knife, screwdriver, wrench, ruler, and bottle opener? My guess is a few more than zero people. Maybe even enough people...

NightGlow Toilet Seat

$49.99 from NightGlow »

NightGlow Toilet Seats don't just preclude black-of-night stubbed toes and Awww, F me morningtime cleanup requirements, they transform your excretory system's best inorganic buddy into an exhilarating pee-themed arcade!...

Levitron Lamps

$119.93 - $149.95 from Amazon »

When I was 8 or so my family got one of those tactile floor lamps for the living room. Touch it once to light it, twice to make it brighter, thrice to illuminate all, and four times to return the world to darkness. It...

CashStash Waterproof Emergency Cash Capsule

$9.99 from Amazon »

A backup $20. A lucky $2 bill. An extra hundo juuust in case I'm too drunk to realize she's going to charge me for these services. The True Utility CashStash is a waterproof capsule sized to fit a keyring and hold a single...

Adult-Size Big Wheel

$899.99 from Amazon »

8 and under? How about 18 and over? The High Roller Big Wheel, like bars, skydiving, Leisure Suit Larry, and all the best things in life, with the exception of nipples, was made for adults only. Big boys (and girls) who...

How to Travel the World on $50 a Day

$10.78 from Amazon »

Matt Kepnes has spent years traveling the world on the cheap. For the past 5 or so he's been blogging about it under the name Nomadic Matt, sharing his secrets and tips with other wannabe explorers on a budget. So now...