A Geek's Gift Guide of Gadgets, Gear and Novelties    * Updated daily

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Tuesday, June 25, 2013
$189.99 from Etsy »

Recycled skateboards and bamboo join forces to battle the sun! Hipsters and panda bears are going to love this shit! Bamboo Skate Shades are handmade in Canada, with no two rolling out precisely the same. Available in 8 different...

Friday, January 20, 2012
Sold Out from Etsy »

Best friend relationships are difficult. It seems there always has to be a leader and a follower. How these roles are formed is a question best left to someone other then me. But these two, pee and poo, seem to have it figured...

Tuesday, December 6, 2011
$199.95 from Hammacher Schlemmer »

This "casually" posed inflatable snowman certainly makes a statement "lounging" in your pristine front lawn. And that statement is that two gay guys live here. Five internal lights illuminate the snowman, making him look as if he's "on fire" with the spirit of the season. And we find an updated much gayer version of a scarf here absent of the manly style cramping corn cob pipe. Great for kids......

Monday, July 8, 2013
$8.95 from Amazon »

Carbonated sugar. Also known as Popping Sugar. Also known as the shit they use to make Pop Rocks! F stingy, tablespoonful servings for 99 cents, how's about a whole vat of candied mouth explosions? And a mere packet of Pop...

Sunday, March 24, 2013
$601.60 from Field Candy »

Whoa, a trippy space tent. I'm not sure I need to be any more tripped out while camping, what with the potent ganja and even more potent Blair Witch memories and all, but I'm happy to look at pictures of Field Candy's latest...

Sunday, September 9, 2012
$119.99 from Amazon »

WORX's JawSaw endeavors to make limbing and trimming efforts--which help the arrival of fall suck even more--slightly less of a pain in the ass. Part pruner, part chainsaw, the JawSaw's extendable handle and electrical powering eliminate the need for ladders, cords, noxious emissions, and 75 attempts to start it up when clearing storm debris or pruning tall trees to look like the Great Pumpkin...

Saturday, January 28, 2012
$85 from Etsy »

What woman wouldn't want a gift that reminds her both of her domestic duties and the George Lucas empire you eat, breathe, and talk about nonstop? R2D2 apron = Valentine's Day, solved. The newest addition to the Haute Mess...

Tuesday, September 6, 2011
$350 from Etsy »

The iRetrofone Base is a fully-functional, stationary iPhone dock with working handset and complete compatibility with USB cable. Each individual iRetrofone is hand-sculpted and hand-cast in urethane resin. Designed to be...

Monday, September 5, 2011
$495 from Amazon »

Every detail is authentic, richly realistic and true to the Academy Award winning epic film. The board is a magnificent work of art, detailing the story of Frodo, the reluctant hero of The Shire, and the friends and foes he...

Sunday, June 9, 2013

It's two-faced! Coincidence, or Marvel sending a subverted message to competitor DC in the form of a room divider? Yeah, I think so too. Shit's getting real here....

If bat shit looked like 1000mW of ice-blue lightning, the S3 Spyder III Arctic Laser would be the physical manifestation of bat shit crazy. As it stands, the world's most powerful laser is just fuckin' nuts. Wicked Lasers' (absolutely, 100% legal) handheld bolt of pure spectral power counts amongst its marketable skills the ability to: Sear through ornery plastic, pop bitch-ass balloons, burn continuously, 24/7, without sustaining damage to its laser diode, function in 9 different operating modes, including Strobe, Constant Wave, SOS, Beacon, and Tactical Hibernation, emit 0.25 Lux of light at a distance of 6,856 meters, turn anyone it hits in the eye at a distance of 149 meters or less into Ray Charles, minus the musical talent and soul.

And if that weren't enough to get it laid every day for the duration of its 5,000+-hour serviceable life, Guinness is currently testing the S3 Arctic for the official title of World's Most Powerful Laser.

The S3 Arctic Series Laser resides in an aircraft grade aluminum chassis that's smaller than a standard flashlight.

Wednesday, May 22, 2013
$89.95 - $109.95 from XFLEX »

Under the right circumstances, I think it's OK to mount things. I'm not going to delve into a lot of specifics on that topic, but I will say that one item that falls into the OK to Mount category is an iPad. In the car, in...

Thursday, July 12, 2012
Sold Out from Etsy »

Pow! Kaboom! SHAZAAAM! It's Marvel superheroes defending boobs from evil sag and boring flesh-colored polyester. If you liked the Glow-in-the-Dark Batman Underwear Set, take a quick eyeball stroll through Megan Elizabeth's...

Friday, October 4, 2013
Sold Out from Etsy »

Pamela Joyce Tan-Javate would like to warn people who wear her Spider-Man beanie that, unlike real spiders and Spider-Men, you have only 2 eyes, not 8. So if you're going for the full Spidey effect with the adjustable eye...

Saturday, April 6, 2013
$12.99 from Etsy »

Hell yes I could use some good luck. And the Insta-kind that requires no patience or input on my part would certainly be preferable. But my question is: do these four-leaf clovers that purportedly reverse misfortune, upsets...

Friday, February 22, 2013
$369 from Amazon »

The worst water I've ever had comes out of the taps in southwestern Florida--it tastes like someone spiked it with eggplant and a mild thickening agent--and I hope to keep it that way. If I encounter anything less potable...

Wednesday, August 31, 2011
$18.75 from Amazon »

Let's face it, even though we're adults now (sort of), we're still very damn scared a little bit scared of the dark. Rather than walk this path alone, why not carry a known Jedi weapon at your side? It provides a sense of...

Monday, June 11, 2012

According to The Map of United States Breweries, Americans have over seven square feet of wall-coverin' love for beer. In fact, I think the nickname "America's Favorite Pastime" was given to baseball, a sport during which...

Wednesday, July 18, 2012

Of course there's no escaping the Dark Knight ever, but there's particularly no escaping the Dark Knight this week. Although this tour de force of Batman schwag goes way back--as in even before Batman Begins, Christopher Nolan--to...

Friday, October 28, 2011
Sold Out from Amazon »

The long-awaited cross between an electronic cigarette and an asthmatic's inhaler has arrived! In 6 to 8 puffs, Aeroshot injects 100 mg of caffeine--the equivalent of one large cup of coffee--into your bloodstream. No more...

Wednesday, November 21, 2012
$24.99 from Amazon »

What can I say, the shitter was full. Fans of A Christmas Story and the craptastic It's a Wonderful Life may flog me, but I stand by the following statement: National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation is the best holiday movie...

Saturday, September 22, 2012

Downgraded in size, upgraded in awesomeness. These J3SIM Professional Racing Simulators have been tailored for both race centers and home use to give drivers the the same adrenaline explosion and propensity to projectile vomit...

Tuesday, May 7, 2013
Discontinued

For $475, a single hunk of solid .925 sterling silver cast as a LEGO Minifigure wouldn't do me much good. But divide that hunk of sterling into 8 separate pieces, and then rejoin them as fully moveable and poseable parts...

Friday, October 7, 2011
$30 from SUCK UK »

Everyone suspects that their cat is a pretty decent DJ. But does your cat have what it takes to spin at the big Vegas venues? Could he host a Kardashian party.... the ultimate gig? Don't just throw him directly into the mix....

Monday, September 23, 2013
$25.83 from Amazon »

What would be cool is if I could use SKLZ's Speed Chute to run from my mama's front entry vestibule, down the hall, through the living room, out the sliding doors, and off the back deck, and then float peacefully and unharmed...

Friday, May 10, 2013
$16.99 from baconkit »

Would you say that bacon-themed things are getting a little old? I would. Unless, that is, the bacon-themed thing happens to be actual bacon. baconkit's nifty portable armory of curing tools and ingredients enables all swine-loving...

Monday, October 1, 2012
Sold Out from Etsy »

Mmm, switch plates that look good enough to eat! I crown artist Dogzilla Lives the Picasso of fetid monsters. Her polymer clay conglomerations of veiny eyeballs, gnarled teeth, and oozy epidermal layers make for terrifically...

Thursday, March 21, 2013
Sold Out from Etsy »

Whoa, I guess that guy from Slipknot died. And resourceful Brian Kubasco was able to convert his head and decorative cranial rods into an historical instrument used to measure and compare the external dimensions of human skulls....

Thursday, June 14, 2012
$184.95 from Etsy »

Now this is just what the Doctor ordered. A Dalek who wants to smoke a few bowls, chill out, and make love (and nachos and microwave brownies) not war. No longer on a mission to "Exterminate!" the only thing the Dalek Pipe...

Saturday, February 11, 2012

Rub-a-dub-dub meets Rawwwr, I'll eat your face! in Dutch designer Wieki Somers' Viking-inspired cleansing vessel. If St. Olaf ever bathed, this rich and tasteful tub is where he would do it. Made of oak and red cedar, and...

Wednesday, September 18, 2013
$14 from Beta Brand »

Betabrand's first production of Socks of Catan sold out in less than a week. So now would-be settlers of the feet sheaths must roll 7s until those who bought the socks by the dozen are forced to give back enough to replenish...

Tuesday, June 11, 2013
Sold Out from Amazon »

My Spidey Sense says that Robin would risk being labeled a traitor and facing legal action due to copyright infringement in order to take a siesta in this bed. Especially on lonely, pouty nights when Bruce brings home a lady...

Saturday, September 10, 2011

Well, there's no beating my Balls. They're made from a secret Schweddy Family recipe. No one can resist my Schweddy Balls. The classic SNL skit comes to life in the form of delicious schweddy balls ice cream. Mmmm.... I can...

Sunday, March 11, 2012
By: Quirky

Cup holders have long held deserted island necessity status, and, within the last year, iPads have pretty much broken the Top 10 as well. So it's about time one of those people who sits around trying to think up good ideas...

Monday, March 11, 2013
$1.60 - $11.59 from Amazon »

It's kind of funny because if you pull the pin...well, in this case the whole grenade...the tire will, well, not explode, but sort of implode as it loses air. Though I guess just removing the valve cap doesn't exactly release...

Friday, September 14, 2012
$125 from Etsy »

Cthulhu. Lovecraftian beast. Angry underwater god. Wicked Halloween, live D&D campaign, or fetish mask. This airbrushed, prismatic, green-tentacled face decor was handmade and handformed from 100% medium-weight vegetable-tanned...

Sunday, June 24, 2012
$15k from Etsy »

According to artist Kreatworks' Etsy listing, 7,900+ people have seen the thunderous magnificence of their Giant Steampunk Dragon. But if you're one of the billions left on earth who still haven't, check it. Standing 10.8'...

Tuesday, August 16, 2011
$689 from SPFX Masks »

These masks look like they come straight out of James Cameron's head. Super realistic masks will even fool your wife! Personally, I'd buy this with a chainsaw and a flip video camera and try and scare the shit out of my friend...

Friday, July 27, 2012
$375 from Etsy »

The Patriot Mask is one of my favorite masks that I have created. Oh. I guess I should put quotes around or italicize that statement since it was said by the person who isn't me who actually created it. Leather artist El Vaquero...

Tuesday, August 13, 2013
$42.17 from Amazon »

Get ready for ZERO!...GRAVITY!...SPICES! The cinnamon that used to consume 1 square inch in your cupboard? Now it hangs mightily in mid-air. The oregano? The thyme? The herbes de Provence? All haul out their death grip and...

Thursday, February 14, 2013
Discontinued

Before when I wanted my voice to sound like a roboticized rapper's I just had Kanye West serve as my ventriloquist. But over the past couple years he's sort of turned into an egomaniacal fame whore and no longer seems to remember...

Tuesday, June 18, 2013
$150 from Etsy »

Now when you play, Duh nuh-nuh nuh-nuh nuh-nuh-nuh on your bass, the ensuing Bat! Man! will be right there at your fingertips. Josh Ackerman, formerly given a nod for his Darth Vader bracelet, has added a hand-woven Batman...

Sunday, February 12, 2012
$30.69 from Amazon »

Grab a PIRANHA pocket tool, and become a hero of life. With just this palm-sized, multi-purpose nugget of brilliance you'll be able to swoop through town popping bottles of Bud, tightening the bolts of leaky plumbing fixtures...

Thursday, August 2, 2012
$18.99 - $36 from Amazon »

This ain't no Pooh Bear honey. Fortified with freshly chopped habanero peppers, the meaty smoke of a hot grill, and a subtle dose of bee nectar, Honey Badger BBQ Sauce will grab you by the nuts, make you lick the sun, and...

Friday, March 2, 2012
$299.95 from Amazon »

This App-Controlled Quadricopter is kind of like a high-def flight simulator, except when you crash and burn, the propellered apparatus you're flying gets destroyed in real life too. Meet the Parrot AR.Drone 2.0, powered and...

Friday, July 6, 2012
$9.95 from Cool Material »

By the dawn's early light I sit toiling to put together a sharp, informative, borderline offensive--though mostly to people I don't really care about offending--description of this Shit I Gotta Fucking Get Done Notebook, and...

Tuesday, September 6, 2011
$24.99 from ThinkGeek »

No dongles required! The USB wall outlet does one thing... and that's makes sense. Why rely on your computer or a dongle to convert to a normal wall outlet to recharge your crappy cell phone battery every 4 hours? And have...

Friday, May 25, 2012
$29.95 from FX Shop »

Whether you're an Archer fan, or just want to stick it to the Coat & Tie Establishment, the FX cartoon's official Archer Suit Long Sleeve T-Shirt is the perfect accompaniment to schmoozy spring cocktail parties, your Bridezilla...

Wednesday, June 12, 2013
$29.99 from Amazon »

Could we get these Mermaid Swim Fins in a color other than powder pink, please? Because I would maybe like to wear one. Also, could we get some females over the age of 18 to model them, please? Because I would maybe like to...

Friday, November 30, 2012
$960 from Floppy Table »

Cool: A hot-rolled and stainless steel table fashioned to look like a floppy disk. Cooler: The metal guard plate on it slides back to reveal a secret storage space. Holy crap. I am nearing giddiness watching the GIF on its...

Saturday, May 4, 2013
$20 - $55 from Kickstarter »

As follow-up to a highly successful Kickstarter campaign and production run, the drinking/magic card game DrunkQuest has launched its first expansion: The 90 Proof Seas. In case you missed our feature on the original game...

Tuesday, July 17, 2012
$11.99 from Etsy »

Well here's your answer: No. Not even the country bumpkin flowers and granny pastels of a cross-stitch sampler can make Walter White look any less badass. Breaking Bad's chemistry teacher/meth brewer extraordinaire makes his...

Friday, March 15, 2013
Sold Out from Amazon »

I have nothing snide to say about the speaker pillow. It's an outstanding idea. I can't even count how many times I have fallen asleep with earbuds in and woken up with one side implanted so deep in my aural canal I crowned...

Monday, September 26, 2011
$70 from Etsy »

Available individually (for $20) or in this set of four, these prints depict some of your favorite Star Wars characters as children. Each print is 12x12 inches with a semi-gloss finish. Great for Star Wars fans... obviously....

Saturday, July 13, 2013
$3.25 from Amazon »

My preferred method of baseball hat maintenance is wearing them until they smell like the inside of a boxing glove and have mosaics of sweat and dirt encircling their dome, and then taking them for a dunk when I happen to...

Monday, April 23, 2012
$49.95 from Phone Soap »

Phones are dirty. And that factoid is based solely on the physical devices, never mind what people use them for. Every cellphone on the block is rife with armies of bacteria and viruses, ranging from the flu, staph, E. Coli...

Thursday, January 26, 2012
$49 from Photo Jojo »

Smoke Drops will add authenticity to the snapshots of your housemate's festering underwear you plan to text to the girl who's too good for him. They will enrich the photos of our mom's piping hot, homemade chicken pot pie...

Sunday, September 15, 2013
$27.97 from Amazon »

In these troubled and litigious times, it's just not realistic to expect people to determine whether a drink is hot or cold by tasting it. Also, the world loves LED technology. And hearts. Putting hearts on things is always...

Wednesday, April 4, 2012
$2,195 - $2,895 from Etsy »

Mini gangstaz, flower children, and future ice cream truck drivers of America can dream of what their licenses may one day bring while snuggled into and drooling all over these handcrafted twin beds. The Hummer H2 behemoth...

Friday, December 23, 2011

Although not quite running true to the movie in substance, in look and feel, this Fight Club bar of soap replica has it nailed. Claiming to be made from electrolytes, caffeine and "punching" it looks like it will smell (and...

Saturday, September 28, 2013
$31 from Amazon »

More surprising than that bullet knives exist is that they are sold in boxes of 12. Just how many bullet knives does one need? Are they like disposable razors? Good for 3 or 4 rounds of...uh...slashing and stabbing things...

Saturday, September 14, 2013
$7.99 - $14.95 from Bit@h Cooks »

I could never match skills, and for once am not even going to try to match wits, with Jason Bailin. Bailin is a man who endeavors to transplant other men from Chinese takeout vestibules to the kitchen by way of tough love...

Thursday, October 18, 2012
$61.95 from Yandy »

I don't need hot girls to dress up as them to prove watermelons are sexy, but...it would be alright with me if some did. Maybe assemble a sexy watermelon patch for group costume effort this Halloween. As a bonus for those...

Thursday, September 1, 2011
$24 from Grandin Road »

Scare the shit bejeezus out of all the little runt trick-or-treaters who have the audacity to ring your bell without a good joke with this amazingly realistic crawling hand. Part Game of Thrones, part The Addams Family, check...

Monday, October 14, 2013
$210 from Etsy »

Concrete never really rivets me in sidewalk or flight of stairs form--unless I'm falling on and picking hunks of it out of my face I guess--but put it in a watch or on a lamp shade and I'm all, Duuuuude. This concrete pendant...

Friday, March 22, 2013
$35 from Etsy »

These are called Zombie Doll tights, but they are actually meant to be worn by women, not dolls. Unless you happen to be both, like this chick, who pretty much defines the terms "personality disorder", "bat shit crazy", and...

Thursday, August 16, 2012
$17.99 - $21.99 from Amazon »

The day has come. Never again will we be forced to set down either our beers or our plates before administering a high five during tailgates, backyard BBQs, and the Journey featuring Special Guests Foreigner and Night Ranger...

Tuesday, August 28, 2012

I want a hippopotamus for Christmas...no, wait. I come from a generation of spoiled, entitled, self-righteous narcissists. I can do better than that. I want three hippopotamuses. And I want them to have pearly white, spiraling...

Sunday, December 2, 2012
$59.96 from Amazon »

Bob Ross. The artist with the voice of a babbling brook and the hair of a filigree bush. Who, coincidentally, mostly paints babbling brooks and filigree bushes. Despite Mitt Romney's attempts to crush it, PBS remains at the...