A Geek's Gift Guide of Gadgets, Gear and Novelties    * Updated daily

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Friday, November 8, 2013
Discontinued

I love scotch. Scotchy, scotch, scotch. Here it goes down, down into my belly.... I don't know what I like more: that Etsy vendor Albert Hernandi of miniBIGS made a LEGO Ron Burgundy minifig, or that he made a LEGO Scotch...

Sunday, September 29, 2013
$56 - $112 from Edge of Belgravia »

It's cool how one color option for these ceramic knives is Zombie-Slaying Green, so I can pretend I'm hacking up the flesh and bones of the undead each time I try to slice an onion without crying like the doctor just slapped...

Wednesday, May 22, 2013
$39.58 from Amazon »

When you wake up in the morning 'cause the alarm gives out a warning, do you think you'll never make it on time? And does this make you sad because you'd rather stay in bed? Like, sadder than Kelly was that time she thought she couldn't attend prom because she couldn't afford it, but then Zack made a private prom for the two of them outside of the Bayside gymnasium? Well what about if you had an...

Monday, January 23, 2012
$35.95 from Erox »

Erox is a unisex body spray that synergizes scents of grapefruit, bergamot, pepper, lavender, and amber with actual human pheromones. It's like Axe with pseudo-pop-scientific research, and reality-TV vixen Adrienne Curry...

Tuesday, September 10, 2013
$56.95 - $99.99 from Amazon »

Even secured inside a Pacsafe, I'm not sure I'd tie my backpack up to, say, a bike rack or a telephone pole and take off on a tour of Prague luggage-free for the afternoon, but I do approve of the eXomesh-cage-and-lock approach...

Tuesday, August 7, 2012
$269 from Amazon »

Coffee has become a culture so packed with rabid enthusiasts and discerning connoisseurs it's hard not to compare its advocates to the wine world's oenophiles, the auto world's car buffs, and the marijuana world's potheads*. Down the road for the revered bean: a massive-scale tillage endeavor in California--with accompanying tasting rooms, of course--and several feature films starring a duo of...

Thursday, October 6, 2011
$30 from Etsy »

Set the tone for your super party with some super invitations. No envelope needed! When you open the bat covered flaps the invitation is inside. Constructed from high quality cardstock, the invitations are quite sturdy and...

Monday, May 12, 2014
$19.99 from Amazon »

You're still on your own for keeping yourself from falling off the ladder, but at least with LadderLimb your buckets, bags, and drills will be safe from gravity's pull. A tool for every handyman and Daddy-O, the LadderLimb...

Wednesday, June 12, 2013
$12.99 from Amazon »

I would have thought this portable bidet would be aimed towards things like hiking, camping, fishing, and hunting, but after reading up on Washmate's water-spouting bottle I see it's aimed predominantly towards things like...

Sunday, June 17, 2012
$8,975 from Jetovator »

I've always wondered what envy in its purest form would look like. Thank you, Jetovator, now I know. In a monumentally sick display of flight and water-walking capabilities typically reserved for superheroes, Chuck Norris...

Tuesday, February 26, 2013
$6.95 from Etsy »

When I was in college I worked in food service for 5 years, during which time I smoked a lot of weed and touched a lot of nasty shit. Like I regularly had to stick my hand down garbage disposals clogged with half-eaten pancakes...

Tuesday, September 24, 2013

Weebles wobble but they don't fall down, and Bodice Rockers fall down but they get right back up and stand just as tall as they did before. So I guess they're more similar to Rocky Balboa than Weebles. But they're not fighters...

Tuesday, May 7, 2013
$63.14 - $70.73 from Amazon »

When you're rollin' (rollin'), rollin' (rollin'), rollin' on the river for enough days you figure out that if you fell in the following would occur:...

Thursday, October 10, 2013
Sold Out from Amazon »

I'm not on the best of terms with my smoke alarm. First it fell from the ceiling and went off. Then I left a few pounds of bacon in the skillet for too long and it went off. Then I had this girl over to watch Major League...

Wednesday, October 31, 2012
Discontinued

Having played Assassin's Creed III for a full 24 hours now, I feel appropriately equipped to don a Connor Kenway costume and wield my tomahawk against the evil plaguing my non-PlayStation world. And it's Halloween! Which means...

Monday, December 17, 2012
Sold Out from Amazon »

Don't be fooled by the MY3D Viewer's cheap plastic look and the implications of Amazon's selling it for 73% off at printing. This purveyor of 3D and 360-degree iPhone and iPod touch entertainment has largely favorable buyer...

Sunday, September 1, 2013
$1,650 - $1,750 from Squirrel »

Skydiving, BASE jumping, walking down the street: success in these extreme adventures isn't so much about having skills and balls as it is about having the right gear. For example, when I walk down the street, I just make...

Wednesday, July 3, 2013

In my opinion and experience, the only thing worse than having to operate a sailboat would be having to build the sailboat first. Why would I want to waste 30 hours (maker BBCo's estimate on how long you'll toil to take this...

Wednesday, January 15, 2014
$14.09 from Amazon »

Ideas? I have lots of them. At least 7 million. Like, how about a southern soul food sushi roll? Fill a steamed collard green leaf with mashed yams, tempura chicken, and some cranberry sauce. Then roll it, slice it, and serve...

Thursday, April 24, 2014
$9.95 from Amazon »

I don't know about the logistics of fitting a mug with a sippy cup top in my car's cup holder, but I do know about the logistics of being able to walk down the street drinking from my favorite ninja mug without sloshing and...

Tuesday, August 7, 2012
$24 from Wine Folly »

Wine Folly has released this quasi-satirical, though largely legit and helpful, infographic to assist self-conscious or indecisive wine buyers in the selection of the perfect bottle to bring, serve, or guzzle down solo while...

Sunday, November 24, 2013
$349 from Pet Chatz »

The simulation of being at home when you're not at home. It's the new black. And from smartphone-controlled security systems to interactive pet communication systems like the Petcube and, now, PetChatz, the application of...

Thursday, August 29, 2013
$399 - $999 from Amazon »

This visual sales pitch for the Chilipad, a mattress cover that can cool or heat his and her respective halves of the bed, might be my favorite photo I've seen all summer, and no one is even naked or wielding a sword or dressed...

Wednesday, July 31, 2013
Giveaway: HooToo TripMate Wireless Travel Router 57
Giveaway Entry Is Closed
$49.99 from Amazon »

Enter to win a HooToo Tripmate and turn your wired network wireless on the go for Internet access by multiple devices, file sharing, and, when batteries get low, a backup power bank. Read on to learn more about the portable...

Friday, December 7, 2012
$12.65 from Amazon »

Girls next door, meet your neighbor Totoro. And wear him as a cloak. How cute and fuzzy and irresistible you will be together. Skipping down the street. Cuddling in front of the TV. Making me drool at Comic-Con. Totoro is...

Wednesday, May 9, 2012
$7.36 from Amazon »

I know at least one person getting Boska Holland's ToastaBags for Father's Day. On the rare occasions my dad is forced to spearhead his own feedings, he likes to make grilled cheese sandwiches. And the way my dad makes grilled...

Saturday, July 6, 2013

Designed to be worn for any casual summertime activity, Lacrosse Playground's Convertible Shorts appear to be a normal pair of tea partaying men's fashion. When dry. But knock their wearer in the pool right after he comments...

Saturday, December 29, 2012
Sold Out from Amazon »

Shit Happens So Get Over It. Is the title not inspiration enough? I'm not sure I even need to read beyond the cover to figure out that this book would like me to suck it up. And rightly so. Times are tough. We could all use...

Friday, July 20, 2012
$25.40 from Strapya World »

On the eve of the Zombie/Mayan/Raining Fires of Hell Apocalypse, Strapya World suggests humans band together, hunker down...and kick off the end of days with a sushi revolution! Men, women, children with developed fine motor...

Saturday, April 14, 2012
$127.49 from Firebox.com »

I see your face on a wedding cake topper, and raise you your face on a Joker action figure. Have people always complimented your Batman-esque jawline? Admired your Superman benevolence? Bowed to your biting Joker wit? Had...

Monday, October 28, 2013

Gizmo on a swimsuit? What fool thought that was a good idea? It's the one article of clothing whose expressed purpose in life is to bask in the sunlight and get wet. Mogwais can't be exposed to bright light. And MOGWAIS CAN'T...

Thursday, February 28, 2013
$7.15 from Sharetapes »

I'm not sure who decided mixtapes were in need of a resurgence, but to whomever it was, congratulations. The Aussies were listening. And they've added upgrades in the form of NFC chips, QR codes, and the removal of old-school...

Monday, October 28, 2013
$179 from Ledge Pants »

While my immediate concern upon spilling an entire cup of coffee on my crotch is searing the hair off my balls and neutralizing my baby-making potential, once I stop screaming and have received a pudding pop to console me...

Wednesday, April 16, 2014
$200 from SUCK UK »

I think someone should make a globe out of bubble wrap so that every time I visit a different country I can gratifyingly pop it off the world. Get to work on that, someone, will you? And in the interim, I guess this cork globe...

Thursday, November 17, 2011

Isn't everything that isn't a Kardashian bank account or body part supposed to be getting smaller? Especially image-capturing devices. But this throwable ball camera is uncomfortably large. It appears to have the same circumference...

Monday, April 9, 2012

Taking a page from Apple's business model, the world of rhinoplasty has apparently determined that exorbitantly expensive nose jobs have been widely available for enough years now that it's time to do some price slashing....

Tuesday, July 2, 2013
$35 from HALO »

That bunny rabbit in the red HALO pet collar might be the cutest non-human woman I have ever seen. Even cuter than that Pomeranian with its own product line that disgruntles me by way of melting my heart every time I see it....

Thursday, April 12, 2012
$19.95 from Replay Games »

An unmistakable flamingo pink box harboring the promise of virtual teenage sex pulsated amidst the circa-1987 Target shelves overrun with copies of Oregon Trail and Think Quick. Leisure Suit Larry in the Land of the Lounge...

Tuesday, April 8, 2014
$9.99 from ThinkGeek »

The Chocolate Zombie Bunny is what happens when you make an April Fool's Joke that sends all the little zombies into a frenzy of Easter basket demands, and then off on a killing spree when they discover the punchline. That...

Monday, April 28, 2014
$12 from Amazon »

Taco trucks are the best. Even the one that gave me 28 hours of food poisoning that one time was pretty tasty before the eruptive vomiting and diarrhea set in. Mmm, blackened Mahi or carne asada on a crispy corn tortilla....

Thursday, September 20, 2012
$64.99 from Amazon »

It's a highly inappropriate Rudolph sandwich, wherein Rudolph proves that he can both dish it out and take it. The Reindeer Threesome Sweater is to make your holidays, and particularly your impending Ugly Christmas Sweater...

Sunday, March 9, 2014
$10.19 from Amazon »

That's right, kid. You wanna play Here Comes the Airplane, you pilot that aircraft yourself. I'm sick of contemporary society's unbridled pandering to children. They have two hands. Why can't they feed themselves? Put on their...

Saturday, April 6, 2013

A few years ago, Portuguese carpenter Carlos Alberto became the Best Dad in the World--not just an imposter Best Dad in the World who wears the T-shirt and flashes the mug--when he carved his daughter Daniela a Vespa-styled...

Monday, December 2, 2013
$64.95 from Amazon »

At first I was like, This is the ugliest ugly Christmas sweater I've ever seen. It is so ugly it's not even ironic, it's just ugly. Then my (newly single!) friend Cornelius reminded me it looks like Will Ferrell as Buddy the...

Friday, July 22, 2011

Let me tell you what Melba Toast is packing right here. I've got four-eleven positrack out back. Seven-fifty double pumper. Edelbrock intake, bored over thirty, eleven to one pop up pistons. Turbo jet, three ninety horse power....

Thursday, April 3, 2014
$13.64 from Amazon »

All I have to say is Wookiee Cookies better just be a treat Wookiees love and not a treat Wookiees are...you know...baked into. I don't need Chewie ginger snaps describing anything but the texture of my favorite after-work...

Wednesday, November 6, 2013
$1,799 - $3,499 from Elliptigo »

If you thought the future was incubating in the frames of Google Glass and laces of Marty McFly Nikes, then behold the offspring of the gym's dorkiest piece of cardio equipment and urbanity's most aggressive sharer of the...

Monday, September 12, 2011
$8.65 million from 9010 Hopen »

Who would guess that what looks like a noninvasive skin rejuvenation clinic from the street opens into a panorama of contemporary cool with walnut floors, sultry lighting, and drop dead (literally, if you're not careful) views...

Sunday, July 29, 2012
Sold Out from Etsy »

Like Lolo Jones and Hope Solo, the Steampunk Combat Tesla Armor's specs and stats are almost as impressive as its cut curves and transfixing beauty. Designer Jordan Edmondson hand-manipulated copper, leather, and brass into...

Wednesday, March 28, 2012
$99.95 from Montie Gear »

We're filing the Y-Fork Slingshot under the "Weapons" category because it is built to launch ammo up to a 1/2" ball bearing or .44 caliber lead ball. Both of which could take out a fat rabbit. Mmmm, Hasenpfeffer for Easter...

Saturday, May 12, 2012
$495 from Armstreet »

When I meet a lady, the first thing I ask myself is, "Could this lady best me in a feat of strength? Or, if she's really special, "Could this lady jump me in a dark alley and kick my ass to next Tuesday?" And when I meet a...

Saturday, January 12, 2013
$128.95 - $229 from HALO »

Several months ago, Vincent Ng ran an extremely successful Kickstarter Campaign for his HALO LED Sport Belt, which he is now manufacturing and selling for the luminous enjoyment and nighttime safety of all. Round 2 of Ng's...

Sunday, December 29, 2013
$80 - $150 from Etsy »

In stark contrast to how I feel about bellybuttons, if I got one of Shannon Conrad's interlocking LEGO rings, I would much rather have an outie than an innie....

Wednesday, July 9, 2014

Guard yourself against hackers and release your laptop from crotchety network admins! Hotspot Shield Elite will protect your private information on public WiFi networks, plus give you access to geo-restricted content. And...

Sunday, September 11, 2011
$19.89 from Amazon »

You gotta cut up those old credit cards anyway right? Or what? Your identity will surely be stolen and you'll lose your girlfriend and probably be shunned. Instead, make cool guitar picks and avoid shunning with this genius...

Wednesday, December 19, 2012
$5 from Amazon »

Hey, it's a lock back Key Knife for all of my knifely pursuits, such as opening my fan mail, defending myself against my neighbor's deceptively aggressive Havanese, and slicing through vacuum packs of PB2 Powdered Peanut Butter...

Thursday, December 29, 2011
$67.53 from Amazon »

Time to go through your closet and dig out all of those classic super nintendo games. You knew there was a reason not to give those to charity. Told you mom! The Supaboy Pocket SNES is essentially a gameboy for your old super...

Saturday, June 29, 2013
$18.74 from Amazon »

The Corkcicle for girly white and pink wine now has a version for manly yellow and brown beer. After 45 minutes in the freezer, Chillsners insert into and latch onto bottles of brew to maintain optimal ice coldness from swig...

Wednesday, August 14, 2013
$25 from Etsy »

I like designating what's mine and what's yours, particularly when what's mine is bigger/better/faster/closer to the front/equipped with a hot tub. Eugenie2's pillowcases are a terrific example of and flawless conformance...

Friday, August 9, 2013
$249.99 from Amazon »

Having not tried one myself, so far my favorite attribute of Nick Scroggs and Fred Bane's hammock-backpack combo, the HackedPack, is that if you go to the naptime buddy's Facebook page, you'll see that Linda Scroggs, who I...

Wednesday, March 5, 2014

What I like about this Kraken umbrella is the inside, which features a giant Kraken. What I like significantly less about this Kraken umbrella is the outside, which features a mess of curlicued, doily-looking sea life and...

Saturday, March 22, 2014

Here's a fun accident waiting to happen. Sorry about Grandma's porcelain ash urn, Mama! It's so hard to find Skee Ball machines outside of Chuck E Cheese's anymore. I guess they don't have the same bar-game allure as pool...

Monday, October 14, 2013
$73 - $128 from Etsy »

Sterling silver, copper, and the aura of someone up to no good. Maybe a psycho chef. A sociopathic sadist. Your mom. (Zing! It's like Patrick Stewart. It never gets old.) Those are the primary components of jewelry shop Arrok's...

Saturday, January 26, 2013
$19.75 - $23.75 from Technology Will Save Us »

How curious it is that some people like to spend hours doing themselves what I could accomplish in a 20-minute, $20 trip to Target. DIY speakers? A DIY synth? No, no, here's the best: DIY LED greeting cards. You know, the...

Wednesday, March 26, 2014
$9.50 - $17.64 from Amazon »

Egglings are kind of a weird mash of concepts. Like, an egg is supposed to be a womb for growth, but if you crack it before the growth cycle is complete you don't get life, you get breakfast. With this egg though, if you don't...

Thursday, September 12, 2013

Sometimes people make things such as cookies that are supposed to look like fingers, and sometimes I see a carrot or parsnip in the store that sort of looks like a gnarled witch finger, but never before this set of finger...

Friday, January 31, 2014
$6.55 from Amazon »

Eggs. They're almost as fragile as cats and guinea pigs. Better suit them up for the battle then. The battle they're still going to lose with my stomach. Sorry little hard-boiled ovo-knights. You're just no match for my brutishly...

Tuesday, May 1, 2012
$6,560 from Weltevree »

According to manufacturer Weltevree, using the Dutch Tub is like "slipping inside a teacup." I'm not sure submersing myself in a vat of English Breakfast has ever been at the forefront of my fantasies, but, hey, these wood-fired...