Magneto-Grade Neodymium Magnets

Sold Out from Amazon »

I'm sure there are stronger magnets out there, but these tiny, 1/2" x 1/8" neodymium discs carry instructions to keep them away from children and not to use them as toys, so I'd say they have some pretty serious sucking...

Hammerhead - Bike Navigation System

$85 from Hammerhead »

Shark Week loyalists already know that the hammerhead group boasts enhanced sensory receptors and maneuvering skills. Plus, its butt ugly face, which looks to have been on the receiving end of a Bugs Bunny self-defense...

Balloon Capsule Ride to the Edge of Earth

$75k from World View »

Lance Bass, your dreams of space travel may be alive yet. Presuming you'd be willing to settle for a hot air balloon ride at the edge of the earth instead of an actual interstellar sojourn. Arizona-based aerospace firm...

Snap-On Can Strainer

$5.18 from Amazon »

No jokes, no sarcasm, this snap-on can strainer is just a good idea, plan and simple. Do you know how sick I am of getting tuna juice all up in my cuticles when I squeeze out a can for lunch? A colander? Ha! The idea...

Ledge Stretchy, Stainproof Pants

$179 from Ledge Pants »

While my immediate concern upon spilling an entire cup of coffee on my crotch is searing the hair off my balls and neutralizing my baby-making potential, once I stop screaming and have received a pudding pop to console...

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Hubsan X4 FPV Quadcopter

Giveaway: Hubsan X4 FPV Quadcopter

Enter to win your very own Hubsan X4 FPV Quadcopter from SpyHawk (a $220 value)! A true RC toy for the 21st century, this flier is compact and lightweight, with a 3 megapixel eagle eye that reports all that it sees on...

Mogwai Swimsuit

Gizmo on a swimsuit? What fool thought that was a good idea? It's the one article of clothing whose expressed purpose in life is to bask in the sunlight and get wet. Mogwais can't be exposed to bright light. And MOGWAIS...

Lazareth Wazuma V8F Matte Edition

$250k from Lazareth »

Lazareth's Wazuma V8F Matte Edition combines the best of the Germans with the best of the Italians: it's simple, efficient, and knows the most awesome rides in life are experienced at varying degrees approaching horizontal....

Muscle-Enhancing Shirt

$48.50 from FunkyBod »

Money can squeeze the fat in, and now money can carve the muscle out. Which means there are exactly 0 reasons left for me to exercise. What? Avoiding heart disease and diabetes? Psshhh! Preventable, life-threatening afflictions...

Pug Mask

Sold Out from Amazon »

Maker Archie McPhee says, "No one can be angry at you while you're wearing this latex Pug Mask." I don't know whether to scoff at and rebuttal that or just swallow the couple tablespoons of vomit the statement made me...

Sizzle Strapz Leather Bags

$249 - $1,499 from Etsy »

Rich Bhata hand smiths all Sizzle Strapz bags in his St. Charles, IL shop from genuine cow hide and American buffalo. I've never felt the desire to lovingly stroke a cow or buffalo before--just devour them in ground and...

Ghostbusters Venkman Jacket

$69.99 - $72.99 from Amazon »

It's not quite as cool as toting a real Proton pack, and infinitely less cool than being the real Peter Venkman, but this Ghostbusters printed Venkman jacket is still better than a tan Russell Athletic zip-up from Target...

Squigz - Suction Cup Building Toys

$22.60 from Amazon »

If LEGOs bred with the Honkers from Sesame Street, their progeny would be Squigz. Squigz. What a rad name. Too bad it's wasted on a kiddie (and adult kiddie) building toy instead of, say, a new kind of shot in which Everclear...

Rotimatic Indian Bread Maker

$599 - $999 from Rotimatic »

I'm still not even sure what the hell roti is. I thought Indian bread was either naan (mmmmm, chewy) or papadums (mmmmm, crunchy). What's this third formation of dough throwing a wrench into my narrow culinary view of...

Nasal Nausea - Military-Grade Stink Solution

$10.48 from Amazon »

Who wants to dissipate a crowd? Shorten the line to get into Comic-Con? Gain some alone time with the Mona Lisa at the Louvre? Convince the cop you really were going 120 in response to massive GI issues? Nasal Nausea...

Skully HUD Motorcycle Helmet

$1,499 from Skully Helmets »

Who wants to beta test Skully's forthcoming heads up display motorcycle helmet? All you have to do is slide it on (or if you're me, shoe horn your melon head into it), launch its Synapse-integrated HUD system brimming...

NanoLeaf - World's Most Efficient Light Bulb

$35 - $100 from Amazon »

As bright as Einstein, as efficient as the French. NanoLeaf is the world's first light bulb to reach--and hold--1600 lumens of output using only 12 watts of electricity. That's the equivalent of a 100W incandescent bulb....

S'Mores Roasting Rack

$8.35 from Amazon »

Well let's just take the modicum of elbow grease required to enjoy an ass fattener alongside a campfire out of the s'mores creation equation entirely. Now I don't even have to engage my upper body muscles supporting and...

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Darth Vader Pumpkin Push-ins

Sold Out from Amazon »

Vader pumpkin. Not only does it look better than any squash I could carve, but making one will take me about 45 seconds instead of 3 hours. Though I do like the idea of spray painting the Darth Vader pumpkin black and...

Catzilla Sweatshirt

Sold Out from Amazon »

The Catzilla sweatshirt's manufacturer got me all hyped naming their bitchin' piece of runway domination the "Catzilla sweatshirt," but then pulled a Ben Stiller movie and stunk it up on the garment's description: "Sweatshirt...

Ferrofluid Bottles

Discontinued

A short while ago, we showed you these interactive ferrofluid sculptures. They're fancy. In the sense of the word that indicates ownership will cost hundreds of dollars. So now, in deference to our readers who possess...

3D Clue

$199 from Amazon »

Professor Plum in the dining room with the...3D glasses, suckah! Iconic board game Clue has followed Hollywood feature films into the 3rd dimension with its own 3D addition to your family fun nights. No glasses required...

Inflatable Dinosaur Costume

$59.99 from Big Kid Costumes »

Giddyup, T-Rex! While I'm not so sure about the proportions of this inflatable dinosaur costume, what it lacks in mathematical accuracy it definitely makes up for in costume originality. Now riding into your Halloween...

Rolex Submariner with Roulette Dial

$12,900 from Brevet »

Is it classy or trashy that Rolex has taken time to the casino? I mean, sure, the thought of Bond-like high rollers sipping whiskey and playing Blackjack connotes a certain level of luxury, but the red, black, and green...

Laser Maze Logic Game

$29.75 from Amazon »

I enjoy fiddling with lasers--particularly those than can burn my eye out--but I'm not sure how I'm going to like one whose use also requires a certain amount of intellectual fortitude. Or, as the Laser Maze prefers to...

Role Playing Dice Gauntlet

Discontinued

Default setting during Settlers of Catan play is already shaking my fist while bellowing a battle cry. Sometimes of conquer. Sometimes of defeat. Funny how those sounds and gestures have global emotional applications....

Brazilian Back Male Hair Removal System

$14.39 from Amazon »

Men, removing unwanted back hair is now as easy as putting on a coat! And if you don't believe me, just ask Wilmer Valderrama, who appears to be as big of a Brazilian Back male hair eradicating system fan as he does to...

Aero Sphere Fan

$91.38 from Amazon »

I feel like the Aero Sphere fan, a sculptural household appliance imported from Japan, holds the power to blow more than cool air. Like all we have to do is play with it long enough--or figure out how to unlock a level--and...

Designer Star Wars Watches

$199.99 from ThinkGeek »

What elevates a Star Wars watch to designer status? Uhhh...price tag? Sophisticated aesthetics? Not coming attached to a rubbery plastic band my dog and I can chew on? And if that's the case, why exactly would I want...

TACTILU - Remote Touch Communicator

I'm not sure technology will ever truly succeed in delivering remote hugs, kisses from across the world, and sweet caresses to the face and wiener, but it's sure as shucks gonna keep trying. One of several tech-savvy...

Stink Yourself Slim Spray

$39.99 from Amazon »

Stink Yourself Slim is not a joke. It's not a gag gift or an Instructables project some dude made at home to give to the lardass who hogs all of the chocolate long johns when someone brings donuts to work. Yeah, I know....

The Authentic 1966 Batmobile

What stands between you and the driver's seat of a precise, officially-licensed roadworthy replica of the 1966 Batmobile? One year and a few zeros, my friend. The most iconic of all the Dark Knight's transportation iterations...

Deaf Leopard Train Horn Gun

It's not surprising that the Deaf Leopard train horn gun can put the power and sound of a choo choo in our hands. I mean, if they can turn forearm muscles into remote control guns with an armband and find the Higgs boson...

The $20,000 Invisible Man Kit

$20k from Optics Planet »

Optics Planet, the same purveyor of hunting, sport optics, tactical, military, and all-around Man Gear that brought us the $24,000 Z.E.R.O. Zombie Apocalypse Kit, is now testing Alpha interest in another supernatural...

Anki DRIVE - Real World Video Game

$149.99 from Anki »

Artificial intelligence and robotics, the virtual reality video game and the actual reality physical game, Anki and iOS: these are the parts of Anki DRIVE that make it a whole new experience in the gaming industry. A...

Neon Ghostbusters Sign

$149.99 from ThinkGeek »

All I want to know is does this neon Ghostbusters sign come with an optional N64 add-on? Because I hear a simple phone call doesn't cut it with the crew these days. If you've got somethin' strange in your neighborhood...

Quick Release Keychain Flashlight

$55 - $75 from Prometheus Lights »

Jason Hui has been making swanky custom flashlights for a few years now. Swanky in the senses that: they look cool; they cost a lot; and they burn up to 200% brighter than typical Maglites using fractionally-sized AAA...

Fantasy Master Skull Knuckle Knife

Sold Out from Amazon »

I don't need a knuckle knife topped with a skull to prove I'm a fantasy master, just the sworn testimony of my ex-girlfriends. Come on ladies, tell them about the fiery passion of Igor the Dragon....

Mystery Boxes

$40.39 - $56.59 from Firebox.com »

Mystery Boxes are the win-win gift. They make the tedious purchasing and giving process only a molecule more strenuous and demanding of thought than buying a gift certificate to Best Buy or Chick-fil-A, yet their effect...

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Rattlerstrap Venom - Paracord Belt

Giveaway: Rattlerstrap Venom - Paracord Belt

It's a Dude first. Rattlerstrap has designed the Venom, a limited edition paracord belt, just for our reader giveaway. Which means the winner will be the first--and one of the only--marines, bush pilots, hunting guides...

The Shield - Tech Jacket with ID Protection

$99 - $249 from Avid Union »

Maker Enthousis says their Shield Tech jacket (and hoodie) line has superpowers. And I'm not even going to call BS on that claim. Anymore, any piece of equipment--or in this case, wearable textile--able to save my identity...

Countertop Dishwasher

$221.99 from Amazon »

Hmmm, does my desire not to wash dishes by hand supersede my desire to microwave Hot Pockets? It's not even a rhetorical question. Even though SPT's countertop dishwasher says it will fit beneath most kitchen cabinetry...

Cloud Light with Storm Effects

$1,800 from Richard Clarkson »

Richard Clarkson's profoundly-titled Cloud defies Mother Nature by hovering amidst indoor skies and venting its beastly thunder and lightning only when inclement weather jibes with your schedule. Such as when you are...

Drumstick Pencils

$5.99 from Amazon »

While pencil tapping is irritating and often makes people want to break the offender's writing utensil and chuck it across the room, pencil drumming is a crowd pleaser, and should make them want to gather 'round and throw...

Glowring Tritium Keychain

$20.70 from Amazon »

In many senses, Glowrings have nothing on the tritium keychains we previously showed you--the ones super-sickly designed and flawlessly handmade by a dude who goes by the name of iknitsteel (though I think his mama calls...

Minimalist Pocket Knife

Sold Out from Amazon »

When I need to cut line or slice through nylon...or, more likely, since I don't really do outdoor activities or know how to safely wield a knife, when I need to expediently cleave open the box containing my new copy of...

The Illuminator - Instant Light Projector

$129 from Amazon »

Thousands of decorative lights from the palm of my hand to the branches of my trees, or spans of my walls in minutes. Minutes. Without the hassle of knotted wires. Without the danger of ladders. Without the frustration...

Panda Coat

$199 from Griz Coat »

Griz Coat, fast becoming the Mercedes of mammalian outerwear, is prepping to release their fourth installment, the Panda Coat. Bulbous bear head, luxurious full-length faux fur body, you know what sartorial delicacy you're...

The Gun Box - RFID Safe

$279 - $475 from The Gun Box »

Gun Box has determined that your hand is the only thing that should stand between you and your gun. So buy a Gun Box, and not only will you get a weapon safe that opens exclusively in response to your personal RFID chip...

Codex Seraphinianus: World's Strangest Book

$79.55 from Amazon »

First published in 1981, the radically strange and unparalleled Codex Seraphinianus took Italian architect, illustrator, and industrial designer Luigi Serafini 2-1/2 years to complete. What is it? Aside from floating...

Pumpkin Tap Kit

$33.75 from Amazon »

An easily-assembled pumpkin tap for your easily-chugged pumpkin beers. In order of tastiness, according to Boston.com, those would be:...

Michael Meyers Bloody Snow Globe

$59.98 from Amazon »

Here's a blast from Halloween past. And not just OG, circa 1978 Michael Meyers, OG 2.0, circa 1998 Michael Meyers too. Remember when they released the Halloween H20 remake to celebrate the series' 20th anniversary? And...

Miniature Weapons Jewelry

$73 - $128 from Etsy »

Sterling silver, copper, and the aura of someone up to no good. Maybe a psycho chef. A sociopathic sadist. Your mom. (Zing! It's like Patrick Stewart. It never gets old.) Those are the primary components of jewelry shop...

Concrete Pendant Light

Discontinued

Concrete never really rivets me in sidewalk or flight of stairs form--unless I'm falling on and picking hunks of it out of my face I guess--but put it in a watch or on a lamp shade and I'm all, Duuuuude. This concrete...

A Christmas Story Leg Lamp Dress

Although this leg lamp looks slightly less frageelay than the iconic Christmas Story bulbed version, I bet if I don a beige cardigan and rub it the wrong way it will drop me like a sack of potatoes and cost a chunk of...

Your Face Mask

$299 from That's My Face »

Your face. Your buddy's face. Your mom's face. Angelina Jolie's face. ThatsMyFace.com can make any of them for your creeptastic wearing pleasure. They can also make them for your creeptastic wall-mounting or refrigerator-magneting...

Belgian Waffle & Omelet Maker

$119.95 from Amazon »

This gift from the heavens cooks a Belgian waffle and an omelet simultaneously. Concurrently. At the same fucking time. Do I even need to say triple-decker waffle omelet sandwich? Do I need to say anything else at all?...

Coonan Triple Threat Apocalyptic Kit

$39.95 from Coonan »

When I think of Coonan, I think first of .357 Magnums. But a close and immediate second is zombie and vampire slaying. And now I'm wondering if the firearms manufacturer and I have a psychic connection. I'm wondering...

Digital Dudz Animated Smartphone Costumes

$29.95 - $64.95 from Morph Costume Co. »

Digital Dudz are back for Round 2 of their wildly popular animated, smartphone-enhanced Halloween costumes. 2013 designs are housed in infrastructures with lower profiles than the 1.0 versions', making them simpler to...

Iron Man Arc Reactor Soap

$5 from GeekSoap »

Your source of power. Your one chance to defeat the spreading evil of germs, grease, and Cheetos dust. Lesley Karpiuk of Geek Soap custom designed her Iron Man Arc Reactor soap mold, and hand makes each piece in a "sultry...

Forest Fire Pit

$1,850 from Etsy »

Here's a snicker-worthy case of accidental black humor. Officially titled the Up North Fire Pit, this hand-cut steel sphere drew its inspiration from the majestical scenes and wildlife of Minnesota's north woods. And...

Black Toilet Paper

$27.99 from Amazon »

This black toilet paper looks like the streamers my mama used to hang up in our kitchen for Halloween or when someone died. I hope the two don't feel similar tidying up my nether regions....

Hot Wheels Car Maker

$43.99 from Amazon »

Hot Wheels aren't exactly cost-prohibitive so I'll still probably just buy a few when I get a hankering to dick around with toy cars at work, but for the kiddos and handy Daddy-Os out there who dig doing things themselves...

Naughty Vintage China

$22 - $140 from Etsy »

Trixie Delicious' naughty china reminds me of sitting at an austere dinner table with my friend Cornelius and trying to destroy his composure by saying words like "penis," "boobies," and "cocksucker" under my breath....

Electronic Spidey Sense Shirt

$39.99 from ThinkGeek »

Good news for men itching for superpowers but hesitant to accept the body-suctioning spandex--and in this case noxious spider bite--that often accompanies them. The Marvel Electronic Spidey-Sense T-Shirt grants a heightened...

Grip Coasters

$22.58 from Amazon »

A coaster that fits drinking vessels of many shapes and sizes, from beer bottles to wine glasses, coffee mugs to sodie cans. That both protects its underlying surface and is color-coded for identification by a drink's...