A Geek's Gift Guide of Gadgets, Gear and Novelties    * Updated daily

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Sunday, February 3, 2013
$99 from Securifi »

Almond+ precursor Almond (no mathematical symbol) currently holds the number one wireless router position on Amazon in terms of sales, customer reviews, and total gigabytes rushed in a single season of fantasy football. Its...

Monday, November 18, 2013
$13.16 from Amazon »

That's a pretty sweet neck on that Zippo. If I had what they're calling the "Flex Neck" I bet I could bend over and...um...look at the back of my knees. The utility lighter's slim nozzle was designed to slip through grill...

Wednesday, September 5, 2012
$24.99 from ThinkGeek »

Who better to scrape the 8 inches of snow and half-inch screen of mother f'in ice off your windshield this winter than the abominable snowman himself? Or at least his severed limb. Slide on the Wampa Ice Scraper Mitt, and watch the layers upon layers of celestial poo the sky dumped on your car glide off. Without acquiring a soaking wet shirtsleeve and mild case of frostbite. I'm hoping the Wampa's...

Tuesday, May 15, 2012
$15.93 from Amazon »

The Complete Manual of Things That Might Kill You: A Guide to Self-Diagnosis for Hypochondriacs livens up our inevitable march towards death. I love talking about my health almost as much as other people love hearing about...

Friday, October 21, 2011
$3.90 from Amazon »

Who could use a radioactive mummy costume for Halloween? An exclamation point on your next toilet-tissue-themed prank? A beacon lighting the way to your Shit Box?...

Friday, July 19, 2013
$8.48 from Amazon »

Similar to Bedtime Stories for Children You Hate, Jack and Jill Went Up to Kill: A Book of Zombie Nursery Rhymes manages to make reading to kids fun for adults again. F all of this Dr.Seuss-Dora-Berenstain-Bears-Little-Engine-That-Could crap with morals about sharing and never giving up. Today's youth needs to hear stories about survival. About not getting your ass kicked. About using cunning and...

Saturday, November 16, 2013
$125 - $4k from Neiman Marcus »

Here are some officially licensed Star Wars cuff links, courtesy of fancy silk underpants department store Neiman Marcus, to present as a gift to your favorite geek this holiday season. Presuming your favorite geek is worth...

Tuesday, October 30, 2012
$189.95 from Montie Gear »

Joerg Sprave is a force to be reckoned with in the world of slingshots. Much like I am a force to be reckoned with in the world of soft-serve ice cream consumption. His high-performance GloveShot incorporates a hand brace...

Thursday, January 24, 2013
Discontinued

If you thought the famously-reviewed Amazon Banana Slicer was the lone solution to your banana-cutting predicament, have I got a 22", tropical-fruit-whacking guillotine for you. Though originally used to decapitate humans...

Friday, August 30, 2013
$29.95 from Amazon »

Idle hands are the devil's playground. So I should probably occupy them dicking around with my phone. Or using my all-white LEGO Architecture Studio to build a 1:10 scale replica of Falcor. Or, hey, hey, how about if I do...

If bat shit looked like 1000mW of ice-blue lightning, the S3 Spyder III Arctic Laser would be the physical manifestation of bat shit crazy. As it stands, the world's most powerful laser is just fuckin' nuts. Wicked Lasers' (absolutely, 100% legal) handheld bolt of pure spectral power counts amongst its marketable skills the ability to: Sear through ornery plastic, pop bitch-ass balloons, burn continuously, 24/7, without sustaining damage to its laser diode, function in 9 different operating modes, including Strobe, Constant Wave, SOS, Beacon, and Tactical Hibernation, emit 0.25 Lux of light at a distance of 6,856 meters, turn anyone it hits in the eye at a distance of 149 meters or less into Ray Charles, minus the musical talent and soul.

And if that weren't enough to get it laid every day for the duration of its 5,000+-hour serviceable life, Guinness is currently testing the S3 Arctic for the official title of World's Most Powerful Laser.

The S3 Arctic Series Laser resides in an aircraft grade aluminum chassis that's smaller than a standard flashlight.

Wednesday, June 5, 2013
$6.75 from Amazon »

Shooting rubber bands, using pens to shoot rubber bands, using pen springs to shoot the ink inserts of pens themselves at mineral fiber ceiling tiles in hopes of getting one to stick...it's a generalized concept as old as...

Saturday, October 19, 2013
$45 - $65 from Kickstarter »

Jason Hui has been making swanky custom flashlights for a few years now. Swanky in the senses that: they look cool; they cost a lot; and they burn up to 200% brighter than typical Maglites using fractionally-sized AAA batteries....

Thursday, May 2, 2013
$59.95 from Amazon »

What makes a compass military grade? WELL, WRITING THE AMAZON PRODUCT DESCRIPTION IN ALL CAPS SEEMS TO BE ONE ATTRIBUTE. Geez, I know America has the biggest and boldest and best of everything, but I don't think the self-proclaimed...

Friday, September 16, 2011
$20.95 from 604 Republic »

Bert and Ernie, long suspected of being gay (or bi at least) make their first appearance as zombies... as depicted on this t-shirt, and still fail to quell rumors of their questionable heterosexuality. That's why the duck...

Wednesday, November 23, 2011
$7.50 from Barcode Art »

Not quite ready to make today's ironic tat trend a lifelong companion? Or even a week-long reminder that corporate America condemns those with conspicuous body art to careers in food service? These peel-off barcode tattoos...

Saturday, August 11, 2012
$3,905.88 from Amazon »

I feel the need, the need for...Maverick and Goose. Projected 9' feet tall onto a giant inflatable movie screen in my backyard. The CineBox Backyard Theater System beams movies, recorded concerts, video games, and Monday Night...

Thursday, March 28, 2013
$199.95 from Amazon »

This Goose protects suits from wrinkles and creases, totes tablets, and staves off the rain. Provided you don't fall off your bike or back into something while walking and kill him too. The Henty Wingman, a heavy-duty tarpaulin...

Friday, November 18, 2011
$99.99 from Vat 19 »

The Levitron? Sweet. Someone is selling a 0-gravity amusement park ride. I bet you sit on the hovering black disc and try not to get bucked off as it bounces and spins wildly, right? And for only $99.99, you could probably...

Monday, March 19, 2012
$784.03 from Field Candy »

Pop art enthusiasts, soul foodies, and vegan grizzly bears, prepare to have your minds blown. The Watermelon Tent is a fantastically realistic slice of summer's finest, that's more than just a kitschy showpiece. Designed by...

Friday, September 20, 2013

For anyone too hip, too lazy, or too caffeinated to tie a standard model, the Zip Tie provides an aesthetic and functional twist...or, rather, removal of the twist...on classic men's business wear. Slip your dome through 100%...

Thursday, June 13, 2013
$220 - $235 from Hardmill »

Hardmill's rugged aprons are made of dudely things like army duck waxed canvas, selvage denim, hand-dyed leather, and copper rivets, plus snakes and snails and puppy dog tails. This is so that when wearing them no one will...

Sunday, September 2, 2012
$29.99 from Vat 19 »

Will you please hold my beer while I check my phone for the precise margin by which I am dominating my fantasy football league? Yeah, I'm talking to my sweatshirt. My mom said it never hurts to be polite. The Beer Pouch Sweatshirt...

Sunday, March 3, 2013
$70 - $180 from Etsy »

Previously if someone had asked me how to make bow ties more dapper I would have called trick question BS. You! Can't! I would have exclaimed. Their plaid and polka-dotted prints have propelled them to their dapper pinnacle...

Tuesday, December 6, 2011
$199.95 from Hammacher Schlemmer »

This "casually" posed inflatable snowman certainly makes a statement "lounging" in your pristine front lawn. And that statement is that two gay guys live here. Five internal lights illuminate the snowman, making him look as...

Friday, February 8, 2013
$31 from Amazon »

Nintendo Collector's Edition Monopoly means I get Zelda's Sword! And I plan to use it in a reign of terror against Mario's chump Mushroom and Pikman's brokedown Rocket. I imagine that wily Mario Star and Samus' Helmet will...

Monday, September 5, 2011
$495 from Amazon »

Every detail is authentic, richly realistic and true to the Academy Award winning epic film. The board is a magnificent work of art, detailing the story of Frodo, the reluctant hero of The Shire, and the friends and foes he...

Friday, January 20, 2012
Sold Out from Etsy »

Best friend relationships are difficult. It seems there always has to be a leader and a follower. How these roles are formed is a question best left to someone other then me. But these two, pee and poo, seem to have it figured...

Sunday, September 9, 2012
$119.99 from Amazon »

WORX's JawSaw endeavors to make limbing and trimming efforts--which help the arrival of fall suck even more--slightly less of a pain in the ass. Part pruner, part chainsaw, the JawSaw's extendable handle and electrical powering...

Tuesday, September 6, 2011
$350 from Etsy »

The iRetrofone Base is a fully-functional, stationary iPhone dock with working handset and complete compatibility with USB cable. Each individual iRetrofone is hand-sculpted and hand-cast in urethane resin. Designed to be...

Saturday, January 28, 2012
$85 from Etsy »

What woman wouldn't want a gift that reminds her both of her domestic duties and the George Lucas empire you eat, breathe, and talk about nonstop? R2D2 apron = Valentine's Day, solved. The newest addition to the Haute Mess...

Tuesday, June 25, 2013
$189.99 from Etsy »

Recycled skateboards and bamboo join forces to battle the sun! Hipsters and panda bears are going to love this shit! Bamboo Skate Shades are handmade in Canada, with no two rolling out precisely the same. Available in 8 different...

Wednesday, August 7, 2013
$24.27 from Amazon »

You can...wait for it...screw pretty much anything with Megapro's 15-in-1 stainless steel driver. I'd still take caution, though, when approaching objects that do not look easy to screw, particularly if they appear to be stronger...

Thursday, July 12, 2012
Sold Out from Etsy »

Pow! Kaboom! SHAZAAAM! It's Marvel superheroes defending boobs from evil sag and boring flesh-colored polyester. If you liked the Glow-in-the-Dark Batman Underwear Set, take a quick eyeball stroll through Megan Elizabeth's...

Sunday, March 24, 2013
$601.60 from Field Candy »

Whoa, a trippy space tent. I'm not sure I need to be any more tripped out while camping, what with the potent ganja and even more potent Blair Witch memories and all, but I'm happy to look at pictures of Field Candy's latest...

Monday, October 1, 2012
Sold Out from Etsy »

Mmm, switch plates that look good enough to eat! I crown artist Dogzilla Lives the Picasso of fetid monsters. Her polymer clay conglomerations of veiny eyeballs, gnarled teeth, and oozy epidermal layers make for terrifically...

Monday, June 11, 2012

According to The Map of United States Breweries, Americans have over seven square feet of wall-coverin' love for beer. In fact, I think the nickname "America's Favorite Pastime" was given to baseball, a sport during which...

Wednesday, August 31, 2011
$19.21 from Amazon »

Let's face it, even though we're adults now (sort of), we're still very damn scared a little bit scared of the dark. Rather than walk this path alone, why not carry a known Jedi weapon at your side? It provides a sense of...

Monday, July 8, 2013
$8.95 from Amazon »

Carbonated sugar. Also known as Popping Sugar. Also known as the shit they use to make Pop Rocks! F stingy, tablespoonful servings for 99 cents, how's about a whole vat of candied mouth explosions? And a mere packet of Pop...

Saturday, April 6, 2013
$12.99 from Etsy »

Hell yes I could use some good luck. And the Insta-kind that requires no patience or input on my part would certainly be preferable. But my question is: do these four-leaf clovers that purportedly reverse misfortune, upsets...

Sunday, June 9, 2013

It's two-faced! Coincidence, or Marvel sending a subverted message to competitor DC in the form of a room divider? Yeah, I think so too. Shit's getting real here....

Wednesday, May 22, 2013
$89.95 - $109.95 from XFLEX »

Under the right circumstances, I think it's OK to mount things. I'm not going to delve into a lot of specifics on that topic, but I will say that one item that falls into the OK to Mount category is an iPad. In the car, in...

Friday, February 22, 2013
$311.15 from Amazon »

The worst water I've ever had comes out of the taps in southwestern Florida--it tastes like someone spiked it with eggplant and a mild thickening agent--and I hope to keep it that way. If I encounter anything less potable...

Monday, September 23, 2013
$19.86 from Amazon »

What would be cool is if I could use SKLZ's Speed Chute to run from my mama's front entry vestibule, down the hall, through the living room, out the sliding doors, and off the back deck, and then float peacefully and unharmed...

Friday, October 4, 2013
Sold Out from Etsy »

Pamela Joyce Tan-Javate would like to warn people who wear her Spider-Man beanie that, unlike real spiders and Spider-Men, you have only 2 eyes, not 8. So if you're going for the full Spidey effect with the adjustable eye...

Friday, October 28, 2011
Sold Out from Amazon »

The long-awaited cross between an electronic cigarette and an asthmatic's inhaler has arrived! In 6 to 8 puffs, Aeroshot injects 100 mg of caffeine--the equivalent of one large cup of coffee--into your bloodstream. No more...

Saturday, September 22, 2012

Downgraded in size, upgraded in awesomeness. These J3SIM Professional Racing Simulators have been tailored for both race centers and home use to give drivers the the same adrenaline explosion and propensity to projectile vomit...

Wednesday, July 18, 2012

Of course there's no escaping the Dark Knight ever, but there's particularly no escaping the Dark Knight this week. Although this tour de force of Batman schwag goes way back--as in even before Batman Begins, Christopher Nolan--to...

Friday, October 7, 2011
$30 from SUCK UK »

Everyone suspects that their cat is a pretty decent DJ. But does your cat have what it takes to spin at the big Vegas venues? Could he host a Kardashian party.... the ultimate gig? Don't just throw him directly into the mix....

Wednesday, November 21, 2012
$24.99 from Amazon »

What can I say, the shitter was full. Fans of A Christmas Story and the craptastic It's a Wonderful Life may flog me, but I stand by the following statement: National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation is the best holiday movie...

Saturday, February 11, 2012

Rub-a-dub-dub meets Rawwwr, I'll eat your face! in Dutch designer Wieki Somers' Viking-inspired cleansing vessel. If St. Olaf ever bathed, this rich and tasteful tub is where he would do it. Made of oak and red cedar, and...

Thursday, June 14, 2012
$184.95 from Etsy »

Now this is just what the Doctor ordered. A Dalek who wants to smoke a few bowls, chill out, and make love (and nachos and microwave brownies) not war. No longer on a mission to "Exterminate!" the only thing the Dalek Pipe...

Saturday, September 10, 2011

Well, there's no beating my Balls. They're made from a secret Schweddy Family recipe. No one can resist my Schweddy Balls. The classic SNL skit comes to life in the form of delicious schweddy balls ice cream. Mmmm.... I can...

Tuesday, May 7, 2013
Discontinued

For $475, a single hunk of solid .925 sterling silver cast as a LEGO Minifigure wouldn't do me much good. But divide that hunk of sterling into 8 separate pieces, and then rejoin them as fully moveable and poseable parts...

Thursday, March 21, 2013
Sold Out from Etsy »

Whoa, I guess that guy from Slipknot died. And resourceful Brian Kubasco was able to convert his head and decorative cranial rods into an historical instrument used to measure and compare the external dimensions of human skulls....

Sunday, March 11, 2012
By: Quirky

Cup holders have long held deserted island necessity status, and, within the last year, iPads have pretty much broken the Top 10 as well. So it's about time one of those people who sits around trying to think up good ideas...

Sunday, June 24, 2012
$15k from Etsy »

According to artist Kreatworks' Etsy listing, 7,900+ people have seen the thunderous magnificence of their Giant Steampunk Dragon. But if you're one of the billions left on earth who still haven't, check it. Standing 10.8'...

Thursday, August 2, 2012
$18.99 - $36 from Amazon »

This ain't no Pooh Bear honey. Fortified with freshly chopped habanero peppers, the meaty smoke of a hot grill, and a subtle dose of bee nectar, Honey Badger BBQ Sauce will grab you by the nuts, make you lick the sun, and...

Friday, July 27, 2012
$375 from Etsy »

The Patriot Mask is one of my favorite masks that I have created. Oh. I guess I should put quotes around or italicize that statement since it was said by the person who isn't me who actually created it. Leather artist El Vaquero...

Friday, May 10, 2013
$16.99 from baconkit »

Would you say that bacon-themed things are getting a little old? I would. Unless, that is, the bacon-themed thing happens to be actual bacon. baconkit's nifty portable armory of curing tools and ingredients enables all swine-loving...

Tuesday, June 18, 2013
$150 from Etsy »

Now when you play, Duh nuh-nuh nuh-nuh nuh-nuh-nuh on your bass, the ensuing Bat! Man! will be right there at your fingertips. Josh Ackerman, formerly given a nod for his Darth Vader bracelet, has added a hand-woven Batman...

Friday, September 14, 2012
$125 from Etsy »

Cthulhu. Lovecraftian beast. Angry underwater god. Wicked Halloween, live D&D campaign, or fetish mask. This airbrushed, prismatic, green-tentacled face decor was handmade and handformed from 100% medium-weight vegetable-tanned...

Tuesday, June 11, 2013
Sold Out from Amazon »

My Spidey Sense says that Robin would risk being labeled a traitor and facing legal action due to copyright infringement in order to take a siesta in this bed. Especially on lonely, pouty nights when Bruce brings home a lady...

Monday, March 11, 2013
$1.60 - $11.59 from Amazon »

It's kind of funny because if you pull the pin...well, in this case the whole grenade...the tire will, well, not explode, but sort of implode as it loses air. Though I guess just removing the valve cap doesn't exactly release...

Wednesday, September 18, 2013
$14 from Beta Brand »

Betabrand's first production of Socks of Catan sold out in less than a week. So now would-be settlers of the feet sheaths must roll 7s until those who bought the socks by the dozen are forced to give back enough to replenish...

Tuesday, August 16, 2011
$689 from SPFX Masks »

These masks look like they come straight out of James Cameron's head. Super realistic masks will even fool your wife! Personally, I'd buy this with a chainsaw and a flip video camera and try and scare the shit out of my friend...

Friday, July 6, 2012
$9.95 from Cool Material »

By the dawn's early light I sit toiling to put together a sharp, informative, borderline offensive--though mostly to people I don't really care about offending--description of this Shit I Gotta Fucking Get Done Notebook, and...

Tuesday, September 6, 2011
$24.99 from ThinkGeek »

No dongles required! The USB wall outlet does one thing... and that's makes sense. Why rely on your computer or a dongle to convert to a normal wall outlet to recharge your crappy cell phone battery every 4 hours? And have...

Friday, March 2, 2012
$299.95 from Amazon »

This App-Controlled Quadricopter is kind of like a high-def flight simulator, except when you crash and burn, the propellered apparatus you're flying gets destroyed in real life too. Meet the Parrot AR.Drone 2.0, powered and...