A Geek's Gift Guide of Gadgets, Gear and Novelties    * Updated daily

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Thursday, January 31, 2013
$49.99 from Amazon »

Cool kids don't pack heat, they pack humidity. With the aid of any standard screw-top water bottle, the Air-O-Swiss Travel Ultrasonic humidifier will pump your hotel suite or Aunt Jan's spare bedroom full of revitalizing...

Friday, October 18, 2013
Sold Out from Amazon »

I don't need a knuckle knife topped with a skull to prove I'm a fantasy master, just the sworn testimony of my ex-girlfriends. Come on ladies, tell them about the fiery passion of Igor the Dragon....

Tuesday, June 4, 2013
Sold Out from Etsy »

Uh, this one's for the ladies? When the toggle on the Han Solo in Carbonite switch plate is turned on, there will be no doubt Han Solo in Carbonite is turned on. I'm not sure how men--even the most devoted of Star Wars fans--will feel about arousing yesteryear Harrison Ford each time they enter the bedroom or illuminate the front entry vestibule, but to all women who support the Rebel Alliance...

Tuesday, May 7, 2013
$79 - $100 from LiddUp »

The LiddUp cooler's interior LED lining caters to bonfires, backyard BBQs, campsites, and anywhere else high on the drinking but low on the lighting levels normally present to assist partiers in determining what exactly they're...

Friday, August 26, 2011

Mmmm... Delicious banana flavored scorpion vodka. I've been dying for some of this stuff. Equally as refreshing after a long run as when you wake up in a shallow dirt grave across the Mexican border. Nothing takes the sting...

Wednesday, March 28, 2012
Discontinued

The Princess Leia Beanie is buns o' fun. Wah, wah. Well, what else can we say? Star Wars fans gotta like it by proxy, Stitch 'N' Bitch circle members gotta like it by definition, and girls gotta like it 'cause it's warm, and girls are always cold. The crocheted head decor, according to its Etsy vendor's listing, "fits all adults and most children." So we guess if your kid has a freakishly small...

Tuesday, January 10, 2012
$4.95 from Amazon »

At this point, the bacon craze has reached a state of lunacy that renders bacon soda somewhat expected. Pedestrian, even. Still, there are smoky, greasy meat flavors, and then there are CARBONATED smoky, greasy meat flavors....

Saturday, October 20, 2012
$90 from Nike »

X-Ray Leggings have images of real bones digitally printed on their front and back. With an inexplicable collection of screws, broken femurs, and hip replacements decorating the gluteus maximus side. Oh, actually the explanation...

Thursday, October 24, 2013
Sold Out from Amazon »

The Catzilla sweatshirt's manufacturer got me all hyped naming their bitchin' piece of runway domination the "Catzilla sweatshirt," but then pulled a Ben Stiller movie and stunk it up on the garment's description: "Sweatshirt...

Sunday, October 27, 2013
Sold Out from Amazon »

Maker Archie McPhee says, "No one can be angry at you while you're wearing this latex Pug Mask." I don't know whether to scoff at and rebuttal that or just swallow the couple tablespoons of vomit the statement made me throw...

If bat shit looked like 1000mW of ice-blue lightning, the S3 Spyder III Arctic Laser would be the physical manifestation of bat shit crazy. As it stands, the world's most powerful laser is just fuckin' nuts. Wicked Lasers' (absolutely, 100% legal) handheld bolt of pure spectral power counts amongst its marketable skills the ability to: Sear through ornery plastic, pop bitch-ass balloons, burn continuously, 24/7, without sustaining damage to its laser diode, function in 9 different operating modes, including Strobe, Constant Wave, SOS, Beacon, and Tactical Hibernation, emit 0.25 Lux of light at a distance of 6,856 meters, turn anyone it hits in the eye at a distance of 149 meters or less into Ray Charles, minus the musical talent and soul.

And if that weren't enough to get it laid every day for the duration of its 5,000+-hour serviceable life, Guinness is currently testing the S3 Arctic for the official title of World's Most Powerful Laser.

The S3 Arctic Series Laser resides in an aircraft grade aluminum chassis that's smaller than a standard flashlight.

Thursday, August 15, 2013
$1,250 - $3,125 from Fun Furniture Collection »

Just in time for you to go to Burning Man and your offspring to stay home with a DIY heap of plywood and PDF instructions as a consolation prize: The VW Camper Bunk Bed! Its double stack of single mattress frames come as either...

Saturday, December 28, 2013
$12.50 from Amazon »

I don't really see the point in ironing clothes unless someone who's not me is doing the ironing, but I guess if you're an advocate of the activity you might like this itty bitty iron for use in wrinkle extermination while...

Thursday, June 20, 2013
$99 from Tokyo Flash »

Like playing the bagpipes and rolling your eyeballs into the back of your sockets, I would prefer that you not drink and drive, even if you're really good at it. Tokyoflash agrees, and so has proceeded with development and...

Thursday, August 30, 2012
$9.67 from Amazon »

Now that the kiddos are back in school, wouldn't it be fun one day when they come home to surprise them with wall-to-wall chalkboards in their bedrooms? Chalkboards you have covered in times tables, Spanish verb conjugations...

Sunday, January 13, 2013
$52.99 from Etsy »

Hand-sewn Yoda heads atop plush tan sweatshirts we will wear. Those of us who carry the Force will anyway. And with the Yoda Hoodies' slouchy front pockets, we'll even have a place to stuff it for safekeeping. Erin Maynard...

Sunday, July 21, 2013
$2,830 - $5,990 from Peter Lynn Kites »

Aw dude. It's like the perplexing baby head masks meet the life-size blue whale kite meets the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man descending ominously upon the Ghostbusters gang, shit-eating grin plastered across its face. The Cherub...

Monday, October 14, 2013

Although this leg lamp looks slightly less frageelay than the iconic Christmas Story bulbed version, I bet if I don a beige cardigan and rub it the wrong way it will drop me like a sack of potatoes and cost a chunk of change...

Monday, December 30, 2013
$49.50 from Amazon »

Oh I'll buy a Senz stormproof smart umbrella alright. I'll also take one of those red-lipped brunettes in a cocktail dress to valiantly shield from torrential downpours and winds of up to 50 mph with it....

Saturday, May 18, 2013
$18.95 from Amazon »

People from Maine sure know how to make cooking fun. These earthenware Snot-a-Mug egg separators are made by northeast coast artisans to disassociate whites from yolks such that they whimsically mimic a gruesome bodily function....

Sunday, March 25, 2012
$34.99 from Battleshots »

Ah, it appears a version of Battleship has been invented for the kids who actually leave their dorm rooms on Friday nights. Battle Shots, in a hilarious act of futility, purports to combine analytical thinking and strategic...

Tuesday, September 10, 2013
$39.98 from Amazon »

For the making of their Kickstarter video, and because destructive testing is always fun, Zendure founder Bryan Liu rolled over the external battery's A4 model a dozen times as it charged an iPhone 4S. Presumably with a car...

Monday, July 30, 2012
$239.95 from Etsy »

Pastiche of 1960s artistic minimalism and Cold War technology, anyone? The Six Digit Nixie Tube Clock combines original Russian New Old Stock IN-14 Nixie tubes with 16 user-controlled colors of LED lighting, and the hands...

Wednesday, April 25, 2012
Sold Out from Etsy »

The Goliathon is a formidable gun of the steampunk persuasion. An apocalyptic machination of copper, brass, and steel that harnesses the power of a full-size steam locomotive. A mammoth burly enough to annihilate an army of...

Sunday, August 18, 2013
Sold Out from Amazon »

One way to guarantee your kid grows up to be a spoiled, entitled brat like that little crapper Suri Cruise is to install an in-ground pool in your back yard--maybe even one that fluctuates between pool and patio--and then...

Wednesday, October 10, 2012
$39.90 from dbeauty shop »

Batman. He's conquered the comics. He's conquered the big screen. He's conquered Lycra and plastic composites armor. Now, he's here to take on eyeballs. Batman Contact Lenses make their wearers one with the Dark Knight's optics...

Friday, October 12, 2012
$50.95 from Yandy »

Ahhh, a Sexy Straitjacket Costume. The pinnacle of Sexy WTF Costumes--narrowly beating out the Sexy Hamburger--and a fun way to perpetuate the stereotype that all hot chicks are crazy. Why be a Sexy Nurse or a Sexy Cop or...

Wednesday, July 31, 2013
$225 from Take-A-Seat »

Obviously the most important element of tailgating is drinking. No one ever forgets to bring beer to the tailgate. Or the picnic. Or the post-outdoor-adventure celebration. We do, however, sometimes forget chairs. Or we use...

Thursday, January 17, 2013
By: Hapilabs

WARNING: Eating too fast leads to poor digestion and fatness. Well. HAPIfork sure has the Appeal to Fear propaganda technique down. Their marketing team must have studied under my grandma. That said, indigestion and fatness...

Monday, April 22, 2013

Don't try to pretend like you don't want a 5x magnified, 13,000 pixel view of your earwax. The EarScope delivers a nearly perfect image of the Q-Tip zone to assist with cleaning or taking sick pleasure in watching a mountain...

Thursday, February 28, 2013

I don't really need a V-shaped toaster and accompanying knife to facilitate PB&J assembly and consumption--my mama makes mine. Crunchy Peter Pan, seedless strawberry jam, two slices of pumpernickel (shut up, it's delicious)...

Saturday, May 19, 2012
$0.99 from iOSnoops »

A while back, Stephen Lippens started thinking that someone should make the old Flash game Pandemic for the iPhone. And then, despite having virtually no technical background or experience, he figured that someone may as well...

Thursday, May 9, 2013
$22.99 from Perpetual Kid »

Though not as blood-curdling as a breaching shark in an elevator, an alligator snarling up through a manhole cover on my front doorstep should make uninvited visitors take pause long enough to second guess their decision to...

Saturday, December 14, 2013

Would discovering a girl is wearing anti-sweat armpit stickers in the middle of making out with her be better or worse than discovering she's wearing a heavily padded bra? I can't decide. Both would be incredibly disappointing....

Sunday, April 8, 2012
$760 from VITEOSHOWER »

The only thing better than a water shower cascading down from above is a water shower shooting up from below. Champions of bidets and enemas, you know what we're talking about, 'ey? And though the photos depict fancy frolicking...

Tuesday, January 17, 2012
$3.99 from 55 Hi's »

Ladies, the answer to your age-old question, "What are you thinking about?" has materialized in greeting card format. 78% of the time you query your man about his internal musings, this is the perpetual, 14-word loop running...

Monday, December 17, 2012
$150 from Etsy »

It's paleontology, puzzle-solving, and ridiculously rad lawn ornament all rolled into one plasma cut steel assembly kit. This giant velociraptor skeleton arrives as 44, 11-gauge, 1/8" steel pieces begging to be the centerpiece...

Monday, February 11, 2013
$99 - $999 from DomeCandy »

What's this? A circa 1968 suitcase and a set of Sony speakers turned into a portable stereo? Aw, Granny, good job! You made a ghetto blaster! And I thought our Merle Haggard Mondays and Tupac Tuesdays couldn't get any better....

Friday, August 2, 2013
$10.95 from EarSkinz »

I may have mentioned this before, but in case you forgot, I have very active sweat glands. More precisely, I am the Old Faithful of sweating. One time at the gym I had a concerned elderly woman run up to warn me that I should...

Sunday, August 19, 2012

Say hello to my open-source, 18-foot-wide, 4,000-pound, 6-legged hydraulic little friend. His name's Stompy, and he is a gargantuan spideresque robot currently being built to tote humans, and crush the living bejeesus...

Tuesday, October 15, 2013
$29.95 from Amazon »

An easily-assembled pumpkin tap for your easily-chugged pumpkin beers. In order of tastiness, according to Boston.com, those would be:...

Sunday, April 29, 2012
By: Behance

Papilla is a USB (and battery) powered lunch box that will reheat its contents. Turkish industrial designer Burcin Ceren Olcum created it so that busy professionals and people on the go have an option to enjoy healthy, homemade...

Tuesday, November 22, 2011
$169.99 from Infmetry »

It's the relationship and commitment hairshirt! Currently available in "Always" and "Marry me", Inner Message Rings are the perfect way to say, "If you really love me, you'll wear this ring that never stops gouging your flesh...

Sunday, April 7, 2013

From forth the brilliant Magneto mind of Dutch designer Jolan van der Wiel comes another player in his Gravity series of magnetic field creations. Candlestick formation employs the same machine van der Wiel built to create...

Saturday, June 9, 2012
Discontinued

Male-female color coordination and style may not be Top 5 on the list of requisites for zombie slaying offensives, but side-by-side pink & black and yellow & black Zombie Stopper Gun Blades should look pretty sweet at Comic-Con...

Saturday, June 2, 2012
$159.99 from Amazon »

In these progressive times, more and more monsters are coming out from under the bed, and unabashedly scaring the bejeezus out of little kids and first time visitors to where the magic happens from right alongside it. The...

Wednesday, December 5, 2012
Sold Out from Amazon »

I've been looking for a speaker than can bump & grind as well as I do. The BlackDiamond3, a wireless/Bluetooth model compatible with all iProducts and most smartphones, raves in up to 16,000,000 LED colors, syncing vividly...

Monday, December 30, 2013
$11.97 from Amazon »

I wasn't that impressed with this Lekue microwave omelette maker until I watched the video. Now I am sufficiently impressed. Whomever filmed that thing should receive the informercial Oscar for cinematography. The omelette...

Wednesday, January 16, 2013
Sold Out from Amazon »

Now that NFL powerhouse and perennial Super Bowl favorites the Seattle Seahawks have been knocked out of the playoffs, I'm going to have to find something else to do from within the 6' radius surrounding my recliner. Hey...

Thursday, September 27, 2012
By: OMG Life

Just as we can never have too many paparazzi photos of female celebrities in short dresses with no underwear climbing out of their cars, it seems neither can we have too many ways in which to capture these riveting moments....

Tuesday, March 19, 2013
Discontinued

I guess anyone who can solve the Roulette Wheel IQ Cube must be pretty smart. I feel pretty smart just for figuring out what it is based on the manufacturer's bold, caps, red-fonted, syntactically-challenged description of...

Friday, March 30, 2012
$185.99 from Amazon »

Is it sun-blazin', mosquito-laden, river-floatin', mountain-bikin', pop-a-tent-in-the woods season yet? Segue from winter into the months of the year that don't make people want to jump off highway overpasses with the terrifically...

Friday, August 17, 2012
$18.99 from The Oatmeal Shop »

For those who claim to put Sriracha on everything, it's time to put your money where your mouth is. Introduce the rooster to the family jewels. Acquaint your two favorite hot cocks. Sriracha Boxer Briefs burn along backsides...

Thursday, December 26, 2013
$11.99 from Amazon »

I don't think there is a fast food item on the planet more polarizing than the White Castle slider. You either love them and eat 2 dozen on a dare the night before your wedding and then spend the entire reception puking even...

Tuesday, January 15, 2013
$25 from Etsy »

While I would trust the paracord to help me in my times of need--jimmying a suspended shelter during floods or stepping in for my broken shoelace during the 3-on-3 playoffs at the YMCA--I have to admit its Vader component...

Monday, November 5, 2012
$249.99 from Gizmine »

With this In-Home Fireworks Theater, you can now say, "Happy New Year!", "Happy Birthday, America!", and "Happy Sweet 16, spoiled brat with a rich daddy!" 365 days a year. From the comfort of your own living room, no less....

Thursday, October 11, 2012
$425 from Etsy »

I'm imagining how much toxic air I could intake, and how many zombies I could Sucker Punch in this kick ass leather and aluminum Defender Gas Mask. Pretty sure the total is zero, but I'm going to look so damn cool getting...

Sunday, April 7, 2013
$399.95 from Amazon »

I recently got an email from a fan that said, "I hate to be HOT." Hahahaha, get it? A fan that hates to be hot. Actually, I just noticed that hilarious pun after I wrote it. I really did get an email from someone telling me...

Tuesday, January 21, 2014
$19.95 - $24.95 from Amazon »

Wine Folly has produced a series of infographic prints to assist in the casual wine drinker's oeno-education, and to give the wine savvy a sense of pride in seeing all the minutiae living inside their heads poured onto posters...

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Friday, November 16, 2012
$24.95 from Amazon »

Boy do I miss the days of my youth. The days of emerging victorious from head-butting battles with rhinoceroses, claiming their horns as trophies, and, after gnawing out the marrow inside, filling them with a thick black stout...

Monday, May 6, 2013
$49.99 from Nubrella »

In the realms of both personal health and interpersonal communication, the Nubrella serves as an excellent form of preventative medicine. It will shield its wearer from everything from hostile weather conditions to airborne...

Monday, July 1, 2013
$200 from LotusGrill »

The LotusGrill, a compact, smokeless charcoal BBQ, is a perfect example of the type of gadget that makes me go, "How'd they do that?!" but really I'm not interested in an explanation if it requires more than 20 seconds of...

Wednesday, January 18, 2012
$199.99 from Amazon »

Do you believe in the power of the human mind? If you said yes, and you are not a Buddhist monk, yogi master, hypnotist, or cult leader, you probably also believe in The Force. But while belief in The Force is one thing, mastery...

Monday, December 16, 2013
$19.94 from Amazon »

One Amazon reviewer gives Encyclopedia Prehistorica: Sharks and Other Sea Monsters 5 stars, raving, "My 3-year-old loves it!" Well guess what, toddler mama, I'm 33 and I love it too! From Robert Sabuda and Matthew Reinhart...

Tuesday, July 16, 2013
By: Ebay

Q: How does Shaun Hughes turn the buffalo side of a Buffalo nickel into an Incredible Hulk hobo with his bare hands?...

Monday, March 26, 2012
Discontinued

According to the Handbook for the Recently Deceased, the Beetlejuice Terrarium is an accurately-depicted scale model of the Maitland-Deetz estate, replete with fence posts, dirt driveway, the foreboding, Burton-esque tree...

Thursday, August 15, 2013
$20 from leibal »

Tea. Often it starts out tasting herbal, aromatic, soothing. But then it finishes off smacking of a skunk's sphincter due to the leaves having steeped for too long. Obviously removing the leaves/bag prior to this point is...

Wednesday, February 6, 2013

Taylor Simpson accidentally plowed into a deer with his Knight XV while barreling through Poughkeepsie several months ago and felt so bad about it he swore off driving altogether and converted the slain buck's antlers into...

Friday, August 2, 2013
$44.95 from Amazon »

Why do we have so many shit-themed items around here? Steaming turd cakes to send anonymously to exes. Pills that turn your defecation adventures golden. Rich, delectable chocolates lovingly molded into the shape of assholes....