A Geek's Gift Guide of Gadgets, Gear and Novelties    * Updated daily

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Tuesday, May 21, 2013

The LEGO Swiss Army Knife! It's not for sale yet, but if you like it, vote the Technic-Bionicle creation into official company review over at LEGO CUUSOO (the strangest and most cumbersome name for a Website I think I've ever...

Wednesday, July 24, 2013
$14.99 from ThinkGeek »

Hot off the endangered species list: great white sharks...with frickin' lasers! Actually, Dr. Evil's cycloptic sidekick was misinformed. According to the World Wildlife Fund, great white sharks are vulnerable, but not yet...

Friday, July 20, 2012
$99.95 from ThinkGeek »

While I'm pretty sure the Sonic Screwdriver in remote control form cannot eradicate the entire E! Network or track aliens of the Zooey Deschanel persuasion, it can make brandishers feel like pretty bitchin' Time Lords while using it to switch to more respectable programming on AMC or SyFy. The Doctor's toolbox favorite beams to Earth in early September as a gesture-based infrared remote that, true...

Thursday, February 13, 2014
$12.65 from Amazon »

Plate Dip Clips attach to plates and hold dip. So it won't bleed all over your food before you're ready for it, or nuzzle up to items it isn't meant to touch, or run amok on the flat plate surface and become more of a scrape...

Thursday, December 12, 2013
$124.99 from Jacob Bromwell »

Jacob Bromwell's set of Old West shot glasses are pure copper, handmade by up to 5 American workers, and in very limited supply. So get 'em while they're smokin' hot, and you just might have the perfect beginnings for staying...

Monday, May 28, 2012
$5.21 - $6.50 from Amazon »

Panama Jack left the neon zinc oxide sunscreen game too early. Now that fluorescent orange, yellow, and pink are back--in a full-on, legitimate, non-humorous, non-ironic sort of way no less--I have to give a shout out to the SPF warpaint of 80s fame as well. Zinka claims it is "the original action sports sunscreen company, credited with introducing the first ever colored zinc oxide sunblock!" Over...

Wednesday, January 15, 2014
$10.88 from Amazon »

Oompa Loompas don't need brooms, they use Illoom Balloons to zoom o'er the moon....

Saturday, April 14, 2012
$275 from »

The Soundlazer is a parametric speaker that harnesses the power of ultrasonic sound. Sounds cool, huh? But, uh, what's a parametric speaker, and how about a refresher on ultrasonic sound? If you're feeling how I felt when...

Sunday, July 28, 2013
$8.70 from Amazon »

Making dinner. Anymore it's either taxing, convoluted, frustrating, or comes straight from a box/can/Ramen pouch. Why, when you walk into the kitchen and lament, What the F*@# should I make for dinner?, can't there be an immediate...

Tuesday, January 28, 2014

With one of the group's largest ratios of brain-to-body size, they say the cuttlefish is among the smartest of all invertebrates. So I guess it is well-suited to the task of cracking open my microbrews and bottles of craft...

Thursday, September 13, 2012
$64 from hi-Fun »

Gloves with finger pads for smartphone touch screens have officially been around long enough for this hi-Call glove handset to debut and just annihilate them on the awesome meter. Powered by Bluetooth, the left glove of the...

Thursday, February 28, 2013
$912 from The Macallan »

Nothing warms my heart more than the marriage of two renowned brands well out of my price range. Here, The Macallan Scotch and rugged apparel and accessories magnate Oakley have collaborated on a tactical, indestructible way...

Tuesday, June 11, 2013
$68.99 from Amazon »

It was a tough call which of the Perfect 10 happy families splashing around in the Intex Easy Set Pool to pick as the product's featured photo, but I ultimately decided the blonde MILF in the winning shot was a better representative...

Wednesday, April 17, 2013
$53 from Burger »

Color-in Wallpaper is kind of like I See You Wallpaper, but without the watchful eyes looming over your every move, passing judgment as you eat Hungry Man Dinners, and rolling into the backs of the heads you drew for them...

Tuesday, June 12, 2012
Sold Out from Amazon »

Master of the Grill, do you have what it takes to be Master of the Grill, Griddle, Deep Fryer and Warming Plate? The Blacktop 360-Degree Party Grill combines all four methods of heat conduction into one massive, all-inclusive...

Wednesday, May 23, 2012
$45 from Etsy »

The months leading up to Resident Evil 6's anticipated November 2012 release should be filled with wishful speculation, ripples of spoilers, and inexplicable urges to quell the suspense by amassing random bits of RE merch....

Thursday, June 7, 2012
$40 - $275 from Andromeda Glass »

Usually when some smug schmuck tells me to put that in my pipe and smoke it I must restrain myself from punching them in the face. But I think part of the reason such restraint is necessary is that I don't often enough put...

Saturday, July 6, 2013

Although I always say that one of my favorite things to do is sit on my ass, photographic evidence here suggests that Nina Havermans' SHAY work-out stool is going to necessitate my refinement and qualification of that statement....

Thursday, February 20, 2014
Sold Out from Amazon »

Jade Monk's demonic-looking Japanese spirit animals would like to offer you a "tremendously refreshing" pouch of powder containing 7 cups of green tea nutrients and enough caffeine to turbocharge your mind and body for up...

Sunday, February 2, 2014
$34.93 from Amazon »

Better be extra cautious devouring those 3 dozen inferno wings today. With all the accompanying excitement and beer, there is at least a 40% chance of inhaling bone, and about the same chance no one is going to notice or heed...

Monday, August 15, 2011
$16.78 from Amazon »

Yes, this is actually a coffee mug. I'll grant you, it is very detailed and looks just like a camera lens, but it really is a coffee mug. It is NOT a camera lens. Don't buy this and complain to me that the photo quality is...

Tuesday, January 29, 2013
$98 from Etsy »

I have to admit, part of the reason I like these DJ Leggings is that they make it look like you can just temporarily unplug a girl's tubes to keep her from getting pregnant. Which, to whomever out there is working on the creation...

Thursday, July 11, 2013
$9.29 - $19.99 from Amazon »

[Cue voice of James Earl Jones.] Rising menacingly from the depths of this cup of chamomile sleepytime tea with a squeeze of lemon...THE KRAKEN! Muahahahaha!...

Thursday, June 6, 2013
$60 - $70 from Dropcatch »

The DropCatch magnetic bottle opener pretty much looks like an entire summer's worth of entertainment to me. I might just buy a bunch of shit beer from Oregon that I'd never consider drinking and employ the mounted walnut...

Thursday, March 21, 2013
Discontinued

Is this allowed? Putting Yoda in Carbonite? I would almost rather Jeff Teo put, like, Captain Kirk or Rudy Huxtable in Carbonite, because then at least the metaphor would be totally, obviously F'd up, as opposed to just sort...

Saturday, December 22, 2012

I have so many reasons to celebrate. 1) It didn't reach 1215 degrees F yesterday (and despite some initial white-knuckling turbulence, my airplane did not fall out of the sky). 2) Three days from now I'm going to be receiving...

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

This belongs on The Game of Thrones or Lord of the Rings. This bed made of ash and featuring silk curtains, is part of a collection of furniture. I think this bed is probably too good for me. If I laid my dirty feet down on...

Sunday, March 17, 2013
$18.95 from SplitReason »

The most highly decorated members of the Nerd Herd sport 10 official, cartoonish-looking, 2D medals representing the pinnacle of their march through contemporary society. A society rife with retro-Nintendo enthusiasm, Star...

Wednesday, June 26, 2013
$59 from Nap Anywhere »

Oh boy, and I think the NapAnywhere pillow looks just enough like a neck brace that I can convince suspicious parties I need it for medical reasons. Let me tell you some things I do not enjoy that will maybe become bearable...

Friday, February 21, 2014
$99.95 from DropLED »

To confirm the accuracy of its name, someone subjected the DropLED Pro Harsh Duty Bulb to a few tests. 300 direct hits to a cinder block. Crushing under a forklift. Placing against the interior side of Drax the Destroyer's...

Monday, July 29, 2013
$296.97 from Amazon »

I don't usually swing, but when I do, I swing in a Vivere Dream Chair. Partly because it rocks my soul to a state of unwavering peace, and partly because whenever I try to get into one of those adulterous little circles, they...

Monday, August 12, 2013
$55 from Etsy »

3D printed, covering an iPhone, and in the shape of a skull may be the only way in which it is acceptable for a male to wear patterns of lace. Joshua Harker's 3D printed lacy-looking skull iPhone cases spiff up Steve Jobs'...

Saturday, June 2, 2012

I suppose the Dope Swimsuit describes how the women wearing it look and feel, as well as what the men who see these women act like they have been smoking. A jet black one-piece with "Dope" spelled in hip cursive just slightly...

Monday, June 24, 2013
$48.95 from Etsy »

Well I know which of Geekify's Game of Thrones eReader cases I wouldn't want: House Stark. Jon Snow may be the only literal illegitimate child of the Winterfell clan, but I feel like that whole family is some poooooor bastards....

Saturday, November 9, 2013
$299.95 from Amazon »

Could the people at Pizzacraft please define their use of the term "pronto" for me? Before I buy this outdoor pizza oven, whose photos suggest its cheesy, saucy, doughy output could rival that of the best pizza on earth, aka...

Tuesday, May 7, 2013
$79 - $100 from LiddUp »

The LiddUp cooler's interior LED lining caters to bonfires, backyard BBQs, campsites, and anywhere else high on the drinking but low on the lighting levels normally present to assist partiers in determining what exactly they're...

Monday, June 3, 2013
$4.99 - $10.50 from Amazon »

The Amazon reviews of Aztec Secret Indian Healing Clay--nearly 800 of them!--are so overwhelmingly positive it makes me wonder how I've never before heard of these miraculous bentonite particulates of the earth. Maybe I was...

Thursday, April 18, 2013
$2,985 from Refined Hardware »

Do you know what a tourbillon is? Besides Refined Hardware's ploy to get me to pay nearly $3,000 for their latest edition of watches? By definition a tourbillon is "a frame for the escapement of a timepiece, especially a watch...

Monday, September 9, 2013
$99 - $199 from Kapture »

Kapture could easily both save and ruin my life. Because the snazzy wristband doesn't just record voices and conversations, it records them all the time. It runs continuously, collecting audio in 60-second buffered loops...

Friday, November 22, 2013
$31.75 - $100 from Shapeways »

Could the knuckle duster beard comb become the new pinky ring? Intimidating, yet decorative, with the added bonus of serving a pragmatic purchase? Oh boy! I hope this power play comes to pass. I'd consider the finger ring-face...

Sunday, September 4, 2011
$49.99 from ThinkGeek »

Equally adept at keeping your more retarded friends locked in as getting them all killed in a fire, the Defendius Labyrinth Security Lock is a pretty cool concept. Wouldn't this be better for impeding entry to keep all of...

Friday, November 9, 2012
$24.95 from Amazon »

My girlfriend says there's a laser treatment for your face that feels like you're repeatedly getting shot with a fully-extended rubber band. Which sounds terrible to me, and not really that much fun for either the recipient...

Wednesday, August 24, 2011
$49 million from Yahoo »

Think the washer and dryer included? This place has to be seen to be believed. Can someone who lives in LA drive by there and tell them you want to get some video for DudeIWantThat.com? Also get a video of their response when...

Thursday, May 9, 2013
$29.99 from Pure Gear »

Retro game smartphone cases go legitimately retro--like back to the 1920s when the only people still alive who would remember pachinko boards and ball mazes as their primary form of childhood entertainment really can't remember...

Sunday, September 18, 2011
Discontinued

Nothing says you mean business in a fight (or life) like a set of deer antlers fashioned into brass knuckles gripped loosely in an open hand. I think just wearing them is enough to deliver a firm message. What that message...

Sunday, November 4, 2012
$32.49 - $149.99 from Amazon »

Bytox Hangover Prevention Patch: Argument in Favor....

Thursday, December 13, 2012
$12 from Amazon »

"Fool" is such a grand addition to the English language. Mr. T knew what was up. Apparently, bib-wearing babies do too. I knew they were smarter than they look. I bet in actuality they're like a tribe of wee geniuses hiding...

Tuesday, January 15, 2013
$38 - $44 from Amazon »

Here are some giant squishy beasts--Squishables, officially--fashioned after the likes of the Narwhal, T-Rex, Yeti, Cthulhu, Polar Bear, and Android mascot. I know you don't want one. But look: they appear to make ladies happy....

Saturday, August 24, 2013
$329.99 - $349.99 from Amazon »

Haha, that dude in the bunk bed looks like the creepy 50-year-old who goes back to college during his mid-life crisis and tries to re-enact his glory days by moving into the dorms and chasing around co-eds his daughter's age...

Tuesday, July 2, 2013
Sold Out from Amazon »

You know the opening scene in Spaceballs when they pan along that massive ship and you kind of start to wonder when a bomb or Jaws is gonna hit, but then the camera jumps to Rick Moranis in an oversized Darth Vader costume...

Tuesday, July 8, 2014
$7.24 from Amazon »

I always have great ideas and profound realizations in the shower. The greatest ideas and profound realizations. The only great ideas and profound realizations I ever have. But there's nowhere to write them down. And my memory...

Thursday, January 24, 2013
$8 from Ruffbowl »

Before delving into RuffBowl specifics, I will share some fun facts about the French. Parisians love their dogs. The ratio of dogs to people in that city is 1:7. But they don't love cleaning up after their dogs. In fact, the...

Wednesday, August 15, 2012
$334.99 from SpyHawk »

Normally, I don't like the idea of a Big Brother entity invading citizens' privacy and monitoring their every move. But I can go for it on occasion. Like on the occasion that Big Brother is me. Like on the occasion that I...

Tuesday, August 28, 2012
$8,500 from Inno-Motion »

The Swiss LimbIC chair, which looks more like part of an amusement part ride than a cubicle fixture, proposes to take ergonomic furniture to new levels of comfort, freedom, and neurological stimulation. Kind of like the desk...

Tuesday, October 15, 2013
$59.98 from Amazon »

Here's a blast from Halloween past. And not just OG, circa 1978 Michael Meyers, OG 2.0, circa 1998 Michael Meyers too. Remember when they released the Halloween H20 remake to celebrate the series' 20th anniversary? And Jamie...

Wednesday, November 27, 2013
$5,400 from Frontgate »

The idea of Dasher, a life-size reindeer that talks and moves, is decent, but, uh...did they have to give him the voice of Ross Matthews? MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE! Let's hang pink and purple stockings! At least that's how...

Thursday, March 15, 2012

Instead of outgrowing your superhero, fairytale, and cartoon character childhood toys, let them mature with you. Preserve their magnificence, and thwart being labeled a creepy action figure nerd, with Evil Robot Designs' Bespoke...

Sunday, December 16, 2012
Sold Out from Amazon »

Of course I don't need a mitten-koozie hybrid so that I may drink chilled alcoholic beverages in freezing temperatures, one right after another like the gluttonous, midwestern lush that I am, without rendering my delicate...

Thursday, May 16, 2013
$27 from Etsy »

Designer Samantha Ulrich calls this her Googly Eyed Monster Mug, I guess due to Sesame Street's having a corner on the market of using the words "Cookie" and "Monster" consecutively. Which, on the one hand, is kind of BS seeing...

Tuesday, August 6, 2013
$49.99 - $59.99 from Amazon »

Sharing in the 21st century pretty much means giving something to someone else without relinquishing it or making any sort of sacrifice yourself. I love the 21st century. And, by proxy, this poster child of the 21st century:...

Monday, June 10, 2013
$79.95 from WickedLasers.com »

For the times you'd rather use the World's Most Powerful Laser to shed light on a situation instead of to incinerate its components, Wicked Lasers' Phosforce flashlight adapter for their Arctic 1W handheld laser pointer will...

Sunday, May 12, 2013
$12 - $85 from Shapeways »

I've never cared much for the word "Claddagh." It sounds like a combination of too many different scary female body parts and sexually transmitted diseases. But the rings themselves are alright if you're into, like, announcing...

Wednesday, November 21, 2012
$1,095 from Oru Kayak »

The San Francisco Bay Area: Big waters, small living spaces, crowded streets, zero parking. Because Anton Willis loves to kayak, and because he isn't a whiner who sits around complaining about problems instead of doing something...

Friday, June 7, 2013
$24.95 - $29.95 from PocketStrings »

We need way more products like PocketStrings. Products that allow people to do things that would normally disturb me without disturbing me. The Baby Muzzle was a good start. Now this portable, silent guitar practice tool....

Saturday, November 2, 2013
$26.99 from ThinkGeek »

Shake it, shake it. Shake it like a Polaroid picture. Guess what! The next time you have to do that because you get a pesky dingle berry whilst sitting on the toilet, the Polaroll toilet paper holder will be there to provide...

Friday, April 19, 2013
$39.95 from Amazon »

Oh, here's a desktop accessory I would knock over at least 5 times a day. It's called the Perpetual Calendar...of Frustration...and its duo of magnetic balls slide right and left and round and round to keep track of the month...

Saturday, March 3, 2012

Otherworldly neon suction cups for the legs! Artist James Lillis took a NASA photo of an actual galaxy, and transposed it onto tongue-waggingly tight leggings in purples and blues so riveting anyone who gazes upon them will...

Tuesday, May 15, 2012
$64.95 from Amazon »

Life-sized is still a few feet away, but this giant Chewbacca plush toy measures in at a formidable 24" tall x 15" wide. Which is probably bigger than the kid you're going to pretend you're buying him for. And when you press...