A Geek's Gift Guide of Gadgets, Gear and Novelties    * Updated daily

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Wednesday, April 23, 2014
$18.56 from Amazon »

Some old lady called me a clown the other day so I decided to look up how to make balloon animals. And as luck would have it, there's a whole kit and how-to guide for balloon modeling. Though it's made by Ridley's so, you...

Friday, March 14, 2014
$65 - $100 from Stamp Yo Face! »

Haha, all dudes in a relationship are about to get the gift of a rubber couples' stamp. Every envelope, every paper lunch sack, every note to empty the dishwasher and fix the toilet and change the filter in the air conditioner...

Wednesday, April 3, 2013
$5.50 - $23 from Etsy »

Honey-spiced locusts from A Feast of Ice and Fire's Essos chapter may be a more authentic dessert to serve at your next Game of Thrones viewing party, but...ew. That sounds disgusting. Aren't locusts bugs? People from Essos are so weird. I'm sticking with sugar cookies. In the shape of Tyrion Lannister's head. Bug munching: sick. Pretend cannibalism: awesome....

Saturday, August 24, 2013
$59 from SpitJack »

Isn't there a Meat Is Torture bumper sticker out there? I think the SpitJack Magnum Meat Injector Gun is about to inspire its antagonist: Torture Your Meat. This thing looks ominous. Like a kitchen tool I want emphatically...

Wednesday, April 18, 2012
$11.99 from Amazon »

Installing Jonny Glow strips on your toilet will preclude stubbed toes, bumped knees, smacked elbows, total face plants, and pissing on the cat during semi-conscious orienteering trips to the bathroom in the pitch black of...

Monday, February 20, 2012
$79 from Photo Jojo »

March Madness looms. Imagine sitting amidst a heated, neck-and-neck Final 4 battle during which you could simultaneously film: the epic panorama of on-court action to the right; a head coach about to soil himself screaming at the refs to the left; cheerleaders...bouncy, bouncy...straight ahead; and two opposing fans, shirtless, pot-bellied, wasted, and throwing right hooks behind you. Simultaneously....

Thursday, March 6, 2014
$4.95 from Amazon »

I am the grandaddy master of the universe at separating eggs. If I do say so myself. I spent several hours learning how to perform this act of culinary prowess in 5th grade and...it's like riding a bike. I've never looked...

Tuesday, December 10, 2013
$29.17 from Amazon »

Beware ye who enter the the Cave of Caerbannog without backup in the form of cozy, yet stylish, footwear. Officially licensed by Monty Python--with a snarl-and-sap of approval from the Killer Rabbit himself--these snaggletoothed...

Sunday, February 19, 2012
Sold Out from Amazon »

When one talks about harnessing the power of the dragon, a 24.5-inch soul-reaping Draconic knife is second pretty much only to the ancient bloodline, and fearless nudity, of Daenerys Targaryen. A formidable slice-and-dice...

Tuesday, May 21, 2013
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In discussing the Back to the Future DeLorean external hard drive with my friend Bartholomew, he raised a couple of fair questions: 1) 750 GB for $385?! What, is that an October 26, 1985 storage capacity and technology price...

Friday, October 5, 2012
$25 - $65 from Amazon »

This Halloween, dress like you grew up in Iowa. The many men of Slipknot have many faces, most of them incredibly disturbing and fitting for a night of scaring the ever-loving sweet Jesus out of kiddos and seniors and maybe...

Saturday, September 21, 2013
$6.95 - $15.95 from Amazon »

Bizarro fiction author Cameron Pierce has won awards for his fantastical, trippy, borderline psychotic tales of what life could be like if we all made better use of our imaginations, and consumed many, many tabs of acid. His...

Thursday, February 14, 2013
$466 from Studio Toer »

Possible Dome Stool Disclaimer: "Toer designed a stool that gives the appearance of sitting on air." Appearance? As in looks like one is sitting on air, not that one experiences the buttock tactile sensation of sitting on...

Thursday, October 4, 2012
$19.95 from Amazon »

I don't know how I feel about painting pregnant bellies for public display. Well, maybe it would be cool if one were painted with waves and then the small human being inside started kicking and fighting to get out and made...

Thursday, February 14, 2013
$225 from Beta Brand »

I don't usually smoke, but when I do, I also like to dress up like a Red Dragon, wear a monocle--in both eyes--and sip whiskey out of my Swig & Puff Flask. I also like when the dragon costume is subtle enough to wear to work....

Friday, December 6, 2013
$48 from Amazon »

If your kids are afraid of Santa the jolly bearded fat man, just dress up as Santa the faceless creeper in the second skin bodysuit and show them what real terror is. Ho, ho, ho, an ocelot ate my face! Now I spread Christmas...

Wednesday, May 9, 2012
$15.94 from Amazon »

Know what sucks about a bacon cheeseburger? OK, besides nothing. What sucks is when you sink your teeth into its crispy-juicy tag team of flesh, and the bacon doesn't break cleanly. When an entire, mayonnaise-laden strip slides...

Monday, September 19, 2011

These little guys remind me of the characters in the movie 9. This collaboration is pretty cool and comes with a back story and a rabid internet fan base. Each "squadt" can stand alone, or form a part of a large collection....

Sunday, May 26, 2013
$749.99 from Amazon »

If its photographic depictions are accurate, the Rainforest Rapids amusement park is an inflatable backyard installation suitable for both wet and dry bouncy-bouncy fun, as well as both small children who want to splash in...

Tuesday, July 17, 2012
$387k from Lamborghini »

When the Dark Knight rises he'll be chillin' in carbon fiber, revving a 700 HP V12 engine, and surging from 0 to 62 mph in 2.9 seconds. The Lamborghini Aventador LP 700-4 makes its big screen debut--and probably one of its...

Friday, July 5, 2013
$9.46 from Amazon »

What can I say about the Tetris sandwich cutter except that it cuts sandwiches into shapes based on the all-time best of all games of all time? UNO can barely crawl out of its little paper carton in the presence of Tetris...

Wednesday, May 16, 2012
$129.99 from Etsy »

Diablo III saw its May 15, 2012 release plagued by the most wretched of all the Prime Evils: Error 3006. That's why it's always better to stick with the classics. Original issue NES Diablo may be an ancient one by laws of...

Friday, October 26, 2012

Nothing like a little colorful latex with cockamamie explanations of what you did to require bandage coverage to make paper cuts, minor dicing mishaps, and drunken tumbles look a little more admirable. Each box of What Happened?...

Tuesday, March 12, 2013
$312 - $412 from Hail Protector »

"Are you tired of being a victim of hail and living in fear of hail damage?" That's, no joke, Hail Protector's opening line. I think they stole their copy from a domestic violence Website. Let's see what else: "...pounding...

Saturday, September 28, 2013
$0.99 from Blow Up Traffic »

I think I'm in love. Blow Up Traffic is an iPhone app that simulates setting fire to gridlocks or otherwise offensive individual vehicles that are driving like complete fucking morons, such as buses and Toyota Priuses. And...

Tuesday, December 18, 2012
$17.65 - $26.77 from Amazon »

Almost as interesting as it will be to watch the effects of my grandpa ingesting 4 pounds of processed sugar a la Slo Pokes, Red Hots, and Chuckles on Christmas morning is noting that, of the wax-wrapped candy treats contained...

Sunday, April 29, 2012
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Is it funny 'cause it's true? The witty, yet unfortunate Video Game Junkie Wedding Cake Topper is a Cynthia Niles custom design, made to order with a jumbo flat screen, and whatever gaming image, console & hand controller...

Thursday, October 31, 2013

Rebel knows you could stuff your smartphone in a waterproof pouch and enjoy its muffled sounds in the shower or by the pool. Or risk hooking it up to a speaker in the kitchen and sloshing suds and bloody chicken juice on it....

Saturday, February 4, 2012

Ok, guys, here's your mannequin. Now all you need is a couple of brassieres and the skills imparted by Gary and Wyatt to send you from single and living alone to Konichiwa, mon amour. I am at your service. This French Maid...

Wednesday, September 4, 2013
$22.95 - $27.95 from Amazon »

If you can't afford to be a stormtrooper in latex, how about an R2D2 in body-hugging cotton blend? This tunic-length tank top is very classy stuff, ladies. Very classy. I say that not only as a man who would be honored to...

Sunday, June 3, 2012
$319 from Amazon »

Ahhh, summertime. Smells like freshly cut...margaritas. Thanks to the TailGator, a blender with cajones the size of a 25cc Poulan 2-stroke, 2 1/2 horsepower gas engine. It's not a new product--or the only one of its kind for...

Saturday, March 23, 2013
Sold Out from Amazon »

At first I thought the Dark Chocolate Sriracha Easter Bunny was just the latest addition to our rooster sauce pop culture craze, but further rumination made me realize its true application is as a training tool for children....

Tuesday, July 24, 2012
Sold Out from Amazon »

For those who believe Oregon is just full of bike-ridin', tree-huggin', farmer's-market-shoppin', paradoxically-Nike-wearin' liberal geeks...well, maybe you're mostly right, but Oregonians also have some pretty wicked creativity...

Thursday, November 21, 2013
$50 - $350 from Safe House USA »

Nothing screams wealth and class like marble flooring, marble countertops, marble statues, and marble-covered rolls in the hay. Here, Safe House USA gives buyers the option of going full mar-balls to the wall with their patterned...

Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Described as an Interactive Pool Table System, this really has to be seen in action to be believed. Transform any pool table into a digitally-enhanced video experience. High-definition imagery responds in real-time to every...

Thursday, June 21, 2012

Here's another idea that could have been mine if I had better ideas: laser-engraved business cards with USB drives. For storing resumes and cover letters. Portfolios of design work, writing, and music. Company sales pitches...

Sunday, January 13, 2013
$20.99 from Amazon »

You've always known bananas are healthy, but did you know holding one against your face can prevent brain tumors? Apparently, you can also use them to communicate with your mother. The Radiation-Proof Banana Handset for mobiles...

Tuesday, October 16, 2012
$850 - $1,750 from Opulent Items »

Lamps and nightlights no longer have the corner on the lava market. Jockimio's Liquid Lava Tabletops comprise two sheets of polycarbonate sandwiching pleasingly vivid hues of liquid that swirl and lumber to the touch of a...

Thursday, September 6, 2012
By: Ben Pawle

Though noble, I was very surprised to learn that One-Handed Condom Wrapper dreamer upper and designer Ben Pawle developed his concept (yes, sadly just a concept at this point, though now that it's hit the Web, I imagine...

Monday, July 22, 2013
$8.49 from Amazon »

Previously, I didn't think it was possible for Luke to sound like any more of a dipshit when he spoke, but I bet throwing in some iambic pentameter will prove me wrong. Adoring fans, get your bookshelves and e-readers ready....

Sunday, September 4, 2011
$71.95 from Amazon »

Great tool for taking your mindless "on the telephone" doodles and converting them to digital masterpieces. Designed for rough concepting and creative brainstorming, Inkling is ideal for the front end of the creative process....

Saturday, April 6, 2013
$99.99 from Stinky »

As the MYO and LEAP eliminate computer mice and keyboards for the hands, SteLuLu Technologies introduces a new gaming apparatus for the feet. Used in tandem with finger controllers, the Stinky Footboard adds one more dimension--the...

Monday, October 29, 2012

La Scala's pimped-out jacuzzi, termed a "Jetted Entertainment Bath", is just another in a long line of life's Catch-22 creations. It costs $40 grand, so if I could convince the bank to give me a loan for it, I'd probably have...

Saturday, August 20, 2011
$20 from Amazon »

It's been a while since I've done an ice block shot. Too long. This seems like a really good housewarming gift. Tell me you're not gonna be the life of the party if you show up with this thing. And come solo because you're...

Thursday, January 10, 2013
$33.90 from Amazon »

An update of theKube, nano MP3 player newKube debuted a few days ago at the 2013 Consumer Electronics Show in Vegas. Improvements to the previous model are based on user feedback, and include an inbuilt equalizer with up to...

Tuesday, June 25, 2013
$4,495 from Kid Kustoms »

I'd give myself about 40 minutes of pushing one of these hot rod fendered strollers around before dinging and scratching it up beyond recognition from skimming walls and banging into corners. Pushing a kid cart around is so...

Monday, July 15, 2013
$265 from Etsy »

I really like it when people repurpose things. Like when they turn shipping containers into houses or whipped cream into bikinis. And although this piston looks kind of angry and dead in its skullified iteration, I still give...

Friday, August 26, 2011
$215 from Etsy »

This is 8 GB of steam powered awesomeness. Made with brass, copper, glass and watch parts, the interior glows blue while plugged in. The scoop on the tail flashes red while transferring data....

Sunday, January 29, 2012
$15 from The. »

All those turkeys who ask you to send them money? Relatives, charities, Billy Graham, the IRS. For less than $20, you can now ship each one of them thousands. And since these dead presidents double as packing material, may...

Tuesday, August 14, 2012
$125 from Beta Brand »

Betabrand, which also gave life to the Dress Pants Sweatpants, now sets its sights on helping you to, I quote, "make a nuclear-fueled spectacle of yourself" with its Reversible Disco Hoodie. Black cotton business on the outside...

Tuesday, May 7, 2013
$79 - $100 from LiddUp »

The LiddUp cooler's interior LED lining caters to bonfires, backyard BBQs, campsites, and anywhere else high on the drinking but low on the lighting levels normally present to assist partiers in determining what exactly they're...

Wednesday, December 5, 2012
$98 from Etsy »

Using the Roland TR-909 Rhythm Composer as their inspiration, The Puss Puss puts puts (gotta love the low-hanging fruit) its own spin on musically-themed swimwear with the PP-909 ladies' swimsuit. Knob, key, and button imagery...

Wednesday, June 12, 2013
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One thing I do every night is fall asleep on my couch watching TV. Usually I wake up around 1:30 a.m. and consider the option of relocating to my bed, but I think the last time I actually did this was November of 2010. However...

Sunday, January 5, 2014
$22.37 from Amazon »

Oh good, it's Billy the Puppet poised to nod and smirk at me all day long. That mouth doesn't actually move, does it? And that tricycle doesn't actually roll, does it? What are the odds that a bobblehead from Saw arrives as...

Wednesday, October 16, 2013
$199 from Griz Coat »

Griz Coat, fast becoming the Mercedes of mammalian outerwear, is prepping to release their fourth installment, the Panda Coat. Bulbous bear head, luxurious full-length faux fur body, you know what sartorial delicacy you're...

Monday, December 12, 2011
$30 from Etsy »

Breast enhancement surgery is a major decision every 16 year old girl has to make for herself. Why not give the new look a trial run first while at the very same time keeping your neck warm? Don't think that's possible? Nothing...

Wednesday, February 13, 2013

If you're going to give an avocado the Cuber treatment, you must first acquire an avocado. Now I know one way to accomplish this task entails a simple trip to the grocery store. But we live in a paradoxical age of extreme...

Wednesday, November 28, 2012
$79.99 from ThinkGeek »

Ironically, the prevailing thought I have in looking at the photo of this TARDIS Mini Fridge with the door open is that it most definitely is not bigger on the inside. Look at all that crap stuffed in all willy-nilly (to sound...

Wednesday, December 11, 2013
$14.99 from NYC Taxi Calendar »

See, ladies, why waste time exacting revenge upon your ex-boyfriend when you could be spending it pursuing one of these hot transportation professionals as your new boyfriend? The 2014 NYC Taxi Drivers Beefcake Calendar is...

Tuesday, June 12, 2012
$22 from Amron »

My problem is that I'm so busy trying to Think Big that I often forget to Think Rational. Scott Amron obviously does not have this problem. His Rinser Toothbrush, whose tunneled handle serves as a spout that shoots faucet...

Friday, July 12, 2013

Chuck Taylors have been around since 1917? Crap. Well I hope in 4 years Converse has a big party to celebrate its century of making my feet look awesome and, in honor of the occasion, gives away free shoes or maybe raises...

Friday, December 13, 2013
$46.32 from Amazon »

The Swissmar girouette says it was devised to shave and curl Tete de Moine, a fancy cheese from Switzerland that probably costs $100 pound, but you can also use it to make byooteeful ribbons of chocolate, or on any old cheese...

Sunday, December 16, 2012
$40.98 - $45.63 from Shapeways »

The effects of the weekend call for a thick shot of Death Wish Coffee and a long drag of a Marlboro Light. It's almost like Solo e Sola knows that my Saturday night culminated in the crushing of a raw egg in my right hand*...

Friday, August 26, 2011

Mmmm... Delicious banana flavored scorpion vodka. I've been dying for some of this stuff. Equally as refreshing after a long run as when you wake up in a shallow dirt grave across the Mexican border. Nothing takes the sting...

Wednesday, March 28, 2012
Discontinued

The Princess Leia Beanie is buns o' fun. Wah, wah. Well, what else can we say? Star Wars fans gotta like it by proxy, Stitch 'N' Bitch circle members gotta like it by definition, and girls gotta like it 'cause it's warm, and...

Thursday, February 13, 2014
$9.53 from Amazon »

The Aqueduck. Is it a faucet extender for kids who can't quite reach the fixture, or a faucet extender for men like me who crack their teeth on the spigot each time they try to get a drink after taking a leak in the middle...

Wednesday, July 31, 2013
$225 from Take-A-Seat »

Obviously the most important element of tailgating is drinking. No one ever forgets to bring beer to the tailgate. Or the picnic. Or the post-outdoor-adventure celebration. We do, however, sometimes forget chairs. Or we use...

Thursday, March 28, 2013

My friend DeAndre ran with the bulls in Pamplona once, and he assures me that the expression "strong like bull" is no, well, no bullshit. People get impaled and tossed and stampeded and DeAndre saw one guy take a horn to the...