A Geek's Gift Guide of Gadgets, Gear and Novelties    * Updated daily

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Wednesday, June 13, 2012
$15.99 from GoKeyless »

All those times I bring a bottle of vodka to work for lunch and some d-bag from HR sneaks into the freezer and takes a few swigs like I'm not going to notice? Gone. And, at $15.99, the Liquor Lock is way cheaper than nailing...

Wednesday, August 14, 2013
$99 from Baking Steel »

The Modernist Cuisine Baking Steel, a heat-sucking slab of metal for home ovens, stovetops, and grills, deems itself virtually indestructible and swears it will never shatter or crack. Funny, because I guarantee the exact...

Sunday, June 3, 2012
$319 from Amazon »

Ahhh, summertime. Smells like freshly cut...margaritas. Thanks to the TailGator, a blender with cajones the size of a 25cc Poulan 2-stroke, 2 1/2 horsepower gas engine. It's not a new product--or the only one of its kind for those who have seen the Daiquiri Whacker--but with Father's Day looming, even though there's zero chance I'm dropping $300 on a gift, imagining Daddy-O yanking the starter...

Thursday, January 3, 2013
$10 from Etsy »

George Washington has been picked to rock out. And I'm not even recapping a scene from the next installment of Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure. Which Keanu is one zero away from agreeing to, given that he hasn't had a blockbuster...

Monday, April 23, 2012

A picture is worth a thousand words. Or maybe just two of our most favorite ones, directed towards the supreme asshole of regular climatological events. It seems like all of our best laid plans revolve around the temperamental...

Wednesday, May 8, 2013
$599 from Tower Garden »

Soil. Lengthy growth periods. The X-axis. Tower Garden rejects you en masse. An aeroponic growing system ideal for rooftops, patios, balconies, and terraces, this food and flower producer replaces pots of temperamental soil with a 20-gallon reservoir of water, and ongoing manual labor with a self-sufficient porous growth stanchion containing an internal pump and hose system. The result: aesthetic...

Thursday, September 27, 2012
$48 from Etsy »

I know your toddler is a unique and special snowflake, but now you can turn him into a programmable, monotone android too and revel in the irony! Carolyn Caffelle calls her R2D2 onesie and hat a costume, though I think everyone...

Thursday, August 16, 2012
Discontinued

The subject matter: 80s and 90s WWF legends. Wrestlers who earned their status through killer showmanship, illustrative identities, and annihilatory moves that, 20+ years later, make them recognizable by little more than their...

Saturday, January 12, 2013
$44 from Nylon Journal »

NYC Subway Map Tights address two male quandaries. 1) Being lost on the streets of New York and not wanting to ask for directions. 2) Coming up with something non-douchebaggy to say after getting caught staring at a smokin'...

Thursday, September 13, 2012

And not only does it look like running water, but it emulates the molecule's flow. The more you crank on the Light Drop Wall Lamp's taps, the more wattage its faucets crank out. Rafael Morgan's plumbing fixture illumination...

If bat shit looked like 1000mW of ice-blue lightning, the S3 Spyder III Arctic Laser would be the physical manifestation of bat shit crazy. As it stands, the world's most powerful laser is just fuckin' nuts. Wicked Lasers' (absolutely, 100% legal) handheld bolt of pure spectral power counts amongst its marketable skills the ability to: Sear through ornery plastic, pop bitch-ass balloons, burn continuously, 24/7, without sustaining damage to its laser diode, function in 9 different operating modes, including Strobe, Constant Wave, SOS, Beacon, and Tactical Hibernation, emit 0.25 Lux of light at a distance of 6,856 meters, turn anyone it hits in the eye at a distance of 149 meters or less into Ray Charles, minus the musical talent and soul.

And if that weren't enough to get it laid every day for the duration of its 5,000+-hour serviceable life, Guinness is currently testing the S3 Arctic for the official title of World's Most Powerful Laser.

The S3 Arctic Series Laser resides in an aircraft grade aluminum chassis that's smaller than a standard flashlight.

Saturday, December 29, 2012
$325 - $425 from Roxy Russell Design »

I got stung by a jellyfish once in the evil waters of Florida's Gulf Coast. On the ankle. Yeah, the stories are true. It hurts like a mother. I don't know how Will Smith did it in Seven Pounds, aka The Saddest Movie Ever Made...

Tuesday, November 13, 2012
$1.99 from Amazon »

Apparently, these tchotchkes--Arrow Helicopters, officially--are huge in Thailand. Their tiny propellers, attached LED lights, easy-to-use tautened rubber band launch pads, and relative cheapness (about $4 for a deuce) give...

Friday, April 20, 2012
$2,700 from Etsy »

She's curvaceous, stunning, and sings like a bird. A little hollow on the inside, but, hey, no one's perfect. Guitar visionary Paul Celentano, who also brought us the Transformers and Pac Man Ukuleles, strikes yet another...

Saturday, February 18, 2012
$19.95 from Pillow Tie »

Neck-to-pillow contact : Kelly Brook :: Neck-to-tie contact : Rosie O'Donnell. Therefore, neck-to-Pillow-Tie contact = hmmm, Zooey Deschanel? Or maybe topless Anna Paquin. Listen, Pillow Ties are not a substitute for down...

Monday, July 1, 2013
$399.95 from Hammacher Schlemmer »

Fact: no one wants robots to take our jobs. Fact also: but it wouldn't be so bad if they took our jobs that are household chores that we do not enjoy. Winbot, a window washing robot, does for glass cleanliness what Sonte app-controlled...

Tuesday, January 15, 2013
$7.88 from Amazon »

LEGO Minifigure ice cubes and chocolates: cool. But how about LEGO Minifigure pads of butter? LEGO Minifigure Jell-O shots? LEGO Minifigure frozen Pedialyte for sick kiddos? The possibilities for transcending all previous...

Monday, June 11, 2012
$9.50 from Man Can »

Man Cans. Scented candles for men. No. For Men. Endorsed by Thor, Indiana Jones, and the Dos Equis guy. This one smells like a spent shotgun shell. At $9.50, it also smells like I'm done looking for a Father's Day gift, and...

Thursday, January 31, 2013
$24.99 - $37.99 from Amazon »

Just one question: how did Romney as the Ronmy make it into this set of Presidential Monster Action Figures? Some wishful thinker jump the gun on production? Because if we're throwing in any old yayhoo just for running, how's...

Tuesday, September 27, 2011
$350 from Etsy »

The helmet is a beautiful dense plastic replica of a Thor Helmet with custom stand. The aluminum flame tubes are raised above the helmet so that there is no heat transfer from the tubes to the helmet. There is a simple flow...

Thursday, August 15, 2013
$43.34 from Amazon »

UV light: it might give you cancer, but so too will it save you from intestinal worms and a night of Montezuma's revenge. SteriPen's water purifier for travelers arrives as a pocket-sized, half-pound wand with a 4-pack of...

Sunday, February 26, 2012
$125 from Tugh Mudder »

What is the World's Toughest Mudder 2012? Think of it like this: there's network TV, and then there's HBO. There's a burger, and then there's a double bacon cheeseburger. There's "'Till the World Ends" Britney, and then there's...

Friday, March 15, 2013
$52.25 from Palomar »

Felt wall maps of Amsterdam, Berlin, London, New York, and Paris for people who live in or have visited or just sorta like the idea of Amsterdam, Berlin, London, New York, and Paris. All come with 15 push pins for marking...

Tuesday, October 2, 2012
$60 from 80stees.com »

They call the Optimus Prime Hoodie a costume, but come on. I would rock that shizit out any day of the year. Particularly days when I feel like spontaneously transforming into a brave and wise leader of robots (with accompanying...

Saturday, April 14, 2012
$225 from Etsy »

Epileptics, please approach with caution. Everyone else, behold: hula hoop begat glow-in-the-dark hula hoop begat LED hula hoop begat cascading double rainbow LED hula hoop. This dual-circuit ring o' Roy G Biv is the definitive...

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Saturday, April 28, 2012
$4.99 from 55 Hi's »

Greeting cards tend to end up in the trash anyway, so it's about time someone figured out how to send them off properly: in a blaze of tequila. The Shot Glass Birthday Card arrives replete with instructions for origami abracadabra-ing...

Monday, September 17, 2012

It's what's on the inside that counts. Particularly when the inside is maybe even hotter than the outside. Black Milk Clothing follows up their freakishly alluring Anatomical Leggings with this similarly traffic-stopping Anatomical...

Thursday, April 25, 2013

Wondering what time it is? Wondering if your face is about to melt off? This tactical Swiss quartz watch with an integrated Geiger-Muller tube has your back. A US military gadget supplier designed the timepiece to measure...

Tuesday, March 20, 2012
$7.98 from Amazon »

There is a detailed scientific explanation for why otherwise-translucent Tekno Bubbles glow majestic blues and golds under the phosphorescent umbrella of a black light, but we were so Svengalied by the pretty colors we forgot...

Monday, October 15, 2012

I've been holding out with the Soap Flakes. Hoping that designer Nathalie Staempfli would put the wall-mounted and handheld bar-soap-grinding devices into production and sale before I posted them here. Every day I handle a...

Tuesday, February 28, 2012
$79 - $119 from The Boilerwerks »

The Backcountry Boiler is a portable, lightweight chimney kettle--the first of its kind, according to creator, Devin Montgomery--that gives campers, backpackers, and those with very mild cases of pyromania the pleasures of...

Monday, October 29, 2012
$60 from eton »

You know what kids these days need? Manual labor. Because they're lazy. Also, cellphone battery backups. Because they're irresponsible. Also, greasy, acne-ridden pubescent teen years. Because they're a bunch of little narcissists....

Monday, September 9, 2013
$48.29 from Amazon »

Some people might say allowing a dog to sit in a high chair and eat dinner at the table with the rest of the family is unsanitary, or even vile, but I really have no problem with the hygiene aspect of the activity. Toddlers...

Wednesday, June 19, 2013
$99.95 from Amazon »

When I think of a multi-position pillow, I don't necessarily think of sleeping better...or, ahem, sleeping at all...but if this Better Sleep head rest can do as it claims, and prevent my awaking from an otherwise pleasant...

Tuesday, April 17, 2012
$42.99 from Amazon »

Another Saturday night and I ain't got nobody...but I do got a sick 16 1/2" solid cast metal Alien Spiked Tri-Blade Hand Claw coated in an antique brass and gun-metal finish, which I will shadow box with in front of the mirror...

Tuesday, April 10, 2012

The undead beast has arrived. Paul Boratko spent years mulling over and designing his Vampire GT Supercar. Its gull-wing doors. Its menacing front fascia. Its groundbreaking chassis. In July 2011, he began tinkering with a...

Saturday, June 16, 2012
$499 from ZBoard »

Like the RYNO One Wheel Motorcycle, the electric, weight-sensing ZBoard won't drop mandibles with its gravity-defying tricks or blow off toupees with its unearthly speeds. But it will make for a simple, significantly less...

Wednesday, May 1, 2013

Almost a year ago Patrick Lehoux's Kinkajou Bottle Cutter found funding success on Kickstarter as an efficient glass slicer that bypasses the bulk and unattractiveness of standard models. It transforms beer, wine, liquor...

Sunday, May 6, 2012
$89 from littleBits »

In a gross affront to smartphones, GPS devices, and certain anatomical organs, littleBits has declared that we as a society should return to the days of using our brains to do our thinking. The simple, space-sensitive blocks--similar...

Monday, October 10, 2011
$59 million from Christie's Real Estate »

Florida's Latin population tallies over 18%, and people who know stuff about populations speculate that by 2035, the state will have a Hispanic majority....

Friday, January 20, 2012
Discontinued

When zombies get to your neighborhood Voodoo priest, everyone wins! Sure, he's going to inhale the amygdalas directly from the heads of your loved ones, but as a reward for your assistance and cooperation, he'll convert their...

Monday, November 18, 2013
$13.16 from Amazon »

That's a pretty sweet neck on that Zippo. If I had what they're calling the "Flex Neck" I bet I could bend over and...um...look at the back of my knees. The utility lighter's slim nozzle was designed to slip through grill...

Sunday, April 14, 2013

Now man can beat his chest and sound even badder than a silverback gorilla*. Drop the Beat, Wesley Chau's wearable drum set concept, was inspired by Laurie Anderson's 1986 concert film Home of the Brave. Yeah, I don't know...

Saturday, November 16, 2013
$125 - $4k from Neiman Marcus »

Here are some officially licensed Star Wars cuff links, courtesy of fancy silk underpants department store Neiman Marcus, to present as a gift to your favorite geek this holiday season. Presuming your favorite geek is worth...

Sunday, March 31, 2013

Do we really need a milk cup ergonomically designed to fit all basic sandwich cookies such that every dunk is a good dunk? Uh, are bears Catholic? Does the Pope shit in the woods? Hell yeah we need The Cookie Dunker. Designed...

Saturday, September 29, 2012
$32.77 from Amazon »

Ho. Ly. Balls. Does anyone have some Glow-in-the-Dark Toilet Paper, because I think I just crapped my pants. If one twisted, dagger-toothed, Joker-on-acid clown mask isn't enough for you this Halloween, how about a conjoined...

Sunday, February 3, 2013
$99 from Securifi »

Almond+ precursor Almond (no mathematical symbol) currently holds the number one wireless router position on Amazon in terms of sales, customer reviews, and total gigabytes rushed in a single season of fantasy football. Its...

Tuesday, July 16, 2013
$39.99 from Amazon »

I enjoy cooking over an open flame, but hovering over an open flame with my delicate body and luscious, flowing locks? Not so much. Bob-A-Cue is a portable campfire grill whose name would be much cooler if it's surface were...

Thursday, January 12, 2012
$69.99 from Amazon »

Star Wars fans rejoice. Take your crack at flying the legendary ride of none other than Han Solo himself. The RC Millenium Falcon puts you behind the controls of the smuggler's ship. Although not armed with the laser cannons...

Friday, August 26, 2011

Some evil genius has taken portraits of siblings and fused them together into one person. The result? Creepy, often androgynous portraits of people I'll surely be seeing in my nightmares tonight....

Friday, August 30, 2013
$29.95 from Amazon »

Idle hands are the devil's playground. So I should probably occupy them dicking around with my phone. Or using my all-white LEGO Architecture Studio to build a 1:10 scale replica of Falcor. Or, hey, hey, how about if I do...

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

As digitial artist and iPoo creator, Milos Paripovic, so eloquently puts it: If you look at a toilet and see the Apple logo, that's commentary on your psyche, not his design. This silver spectacle was lovingly contoured to...

Wednesday, August 8, 2012
$104.42 from Black Milk Clothing »

Out of this world? How about out of this Whoniverse? Black Milk Clothing's James Lillis ups the ante once again with the Who Dress, a TARDIS homage that would probably make the eyes and jaw of the Eleventh Doctor himself go...

Friday, July 19, 2013
$8.48 from Amazon »

Similar to Bedtime Stories for Children You Hate, Jack and Jill Went Up to Kill: A Book of Zombie Nursery Rhymes manages to make reading to kids fun for adults again. F all of this Dr.Seuss-Dora-Berenstain-Bears-Little-Engine-That-Could...

Thursday, October 20, 2011
By: Youtube

In what is surely a foreshadowing of our imminent demise at the hands of robots, this video details the record-breaking exploits of "The Cubestormer". Part Droid powered cellphone, part LEGO NXT, don't blink, or you might...

Saturday, October 19, 2013
$45 - $65 from Kickstarter »

Jason Hui has been making swanky custom flashlights for a few years now. Swanky in the senses that: they look cool; they cost a lot; and they burn up to 200% brighter than typical Maglites using fractionally-sized AAA batteries....

Wednesday, June 5, 2013
$6.75 from Amazon »

Shooting rubber bands, using pens to shoot rubber bands, using pen springs to shoot the ink inserts of pens themselves at mineral fiber ceiling tiles in hopes of getting one to stick...it's a generalized concept as old as...

Tuesday, May 15, 2012
$15.93 from Amazon »

The Complete Manual of Things That Might Kill You: A Guide to Self-Diagnosis for Hypochondriacs livens up our inevitable march towards death. I love talking about my health almost as much as other people love hearing about...

Wednesday, September 5, 2012
$24.99 from ThinkGeek »

Who better to scrape the 8 inches of snow and half-inch screen of mother f'in ice off your windshield this winter than the abominable snowman himself? Or at least his severed limb. Slide on the Wampa Ice Scraper Mitt, and...

Friday, September 20, 2013

For anyone too hip, too lazy, or too caffeinated to tie a standard model, the Zip Tie provides an aesthetic and functional twist...or, rather, removal of the twist...on classic men's business wear. Slip your dome through 100%...

Tuesday, October 30, 2012
$189.95 from Montie Gear »

Joerg Sprave is a force to be reckoned with in the world of slingshots. Much like I am a force to be reckoned with in the world of soft-serve ice cream consumption. His high-performance GloveShot incorporates a hand brace...

Thursday, May 2, 2013
$59.95 from Amazon »

What makes a compass military grade? WELL, WRITING THE AMAZON PRODUCT DESCRIPTION IN ALL CAPS SEEMS TO BE ONE ATTRIBUTE. Geez, I know America has the biggest and boldest and best of everything, but I don't think the self-proclaimed...

Thursday, January 24, 2013
Discontinued

If you thought the famously-reviewed Amazon Banana Slicer was the lone solution to your banana-cutting predicament, have I got a 22", tropical-fruit-whacking guillotine for you. Though originally used to decapitate humans...

Friday, October 21, 2011
$3.87 from Amazon »

Who could use a radioactive mummy costume for Halloween? An exclamation point on your next toilet-tissue-themed prank? A beacon lighting the way to your Shit Box?...

Friday, September 16, 2011
$20.95 from 604 Republic »

Bert and Ernie, long suspected of being gay (or bi at least) make their first appearance as zombies... as depicted on this t-shirt, and still fail to quell rumors of their questionable heterosexuality. That's why the duck...

Thursday, March 28, 2013
$199.95 from Amazon »

This Goose protects suits from wrinkles and creases, totes tablets, and staves off the rain. Provided you don't fall off your bike or back into something while walking and kill him too. The Henty Wingman, a heavy-duty tarpaulin...

Saturday, August 11, 2012
$3,905.88 from Amazon »

I feel the need, the need for...Maverick and Goose. Projected 9' feet tall onto a giant inflatable movie screen in my backyard. The CineBox Backyard Theater System beams movies, recorded concerts, video games, and Monday Night...

Thursday, June 13, 2013
$220 - $235 from Hardmill »

Hardmill's rugged aprons are made of dudely things like army duck waxed canvas, selvage denim, hand-dyed leather, and copper rivets, plus snakes and snails and puppy dog tails. This is so that when wearing them no one will...

Wednesday, November 23, 2011
$7.50 from Barcode Art »

Not quite ready to make today's ironic tat trend a lifelong companion? Or even a week-long reminder that corporate America condemns those with conspicuous body art to careers in food service? These peel-off barcode tattoos...