A Geek's Gift Guide of Gadgets, Gear and Novelties    * Updated daily

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Thursday, October 6, 2011
$30 from Etsy »

Set the tone for your super party with some super invitations. No envelope needed! When you open the bat covered flaps the invitation is inside. Constructed from high quality cardstock, the invitations are quite sturdy and...

Sunday, May 12, 2013
$12 - $85 from Shapeways »

I've never cared much for the word "Claddagh." It sounds like a combination of too many different scary female body parts and sexually transmitted diseases. But the rings themselves are alright if you're into, like, announcing...

Friday, June 7, 2013
$24.95 - $29.95 from PocketStrings »

We need way more products like PocketStrings. Products that allow people to do things that would normally disturb me without disturbing me. The Baby Muzzle was a good start. Now this portable, silent guitar practice tool. Next, how about a car alarm that blares at 115 decibels only in the ears of the vehicle's owner?...

Sunday, June 30, 2013
$59.95 from myType »

I'll tell you one thing I like is buttons. This touch screen crapola, even when it's all cool and laser virtual keyboard-y and keychain-sized, is unacceptable to my manly and powerful hands. They just do not like typing on...

Tuesday, November 19, 2013
$115 from Amazon »

Some people believe that a blaring alarm shattering the silence of our slumber and tearing our eyes open in the still-blackness of a winter morning isn't so good for the body. Philips, makers of the Wake-Up Light and alarm...

Saturday, April 20, 2013
$330 from Etsy »

Yoda pipe? Yes, I'll take one. I will also take one six-piece Chicken McNugget, a dozen Doritos Locos tacos, a deep dish pepperoni pizza with extra sauce, and three large Oreo Mint Blizzards. Thank you, and Happy 4/20....

Saturday, April 14, 2012
$275 from Soundlazer »

The Soundlazer is a parametric speaker that harnesses the power of ultrasonic sound. Sounds cool, huh? But, uh, what's a parametric speaker, and how about a refresher on ultrasonic sound? If you're feeling how I felt when...

Thursday, June 7, 2012
$40 - $275 from Andromeda Glass »

Usually when some smug schmuck tells me to put that in my pipe and smoke it I must restrain myself from punching them in the face. But I think part of the reason such restraint is necessary is that I don't often enough put...

Monday, August 15, 2011
$18.62 from Amazon »

Yes, this is actually a coffee mug. I'll grant you, it is very detailed and looks just like a camera lens, but it really is a coffee mug. It is NOT a camera lens. Don't buy this and complain to me that the photo quality is...

Friday, November 9, 2012
$24.95 from Amazon »

My girlfriend says there's a laser treatment for your face that feels like you're repeatedly getting shot with a fully-extended rubber band. Which sounds terrible to me, and not really that much fun for either the recipient...

If bat shit looked like 1000mW of ice-blue lightning, the S3 Spyder III Arctic Laser would be the physical manifestation of bat shit crazy. As it stands, the world's most powerful laser is just fuckin' nuts. Wicked Lasers' (absolutely, 100% legal) handheld bolt of pure spectral power counts amongst its marketable skills the ability to: Sear through ornery plastic, pop bitch-ass balloons, burn continuously, 24/7, without sustaining damage to its laser diode, function in 9 different operating modes, including Strobe, Constant Wave, SOS, Beacon, and Tactical Hibernation, emit 0.25 Lux of light at a distance of 6,856 meters, turn anyone it hits in the eye at a distance of 149 meters or less into Ray Charles, minus the musical talent and soul.

And if that weren't enough to get it laid every day for the duration of its 5,000+-hour serviceable life, Guinness is currently testing the S3 Arctic for the official title of World's Most Powerful Laser.

The S3 Arctic Series Laser resides in an aircraft grade aluminum chassis that's smaller than a standard flashlight.

Friday, July 20, 2012
$99.95 from ThinkGeek »

While I'm pretty sure the Sonic Screwdriver in remote control form cannot eradicate the entire E! Network or track aliens of the Zooey Deschanel persuasion, it can make brandishers feel like pretty bitchin' Time Lords while...

Tuesday, April 2, 2013
$20 from black + blum »

Not only is a polar bear ice cube tray adorable and perfect for assuaging the injuries of children who hurt themselves doing something stupid that you told them not to, but the design itself is also highly utilitarian, solving...

Saturday, June 2, 2012

I suppose the Dope Swimsuit describes how the women wearing it look and feel, as well as what the men who see these women act like they have been smoking. A jet black one-piece with "Dope" spelled in hip cursive just slightly...

Wednesday, April 10, 2013

Here are some problems with not brushing your teeth: brown teeth; hot buttered ass breath. Here are some problems with brushing your teeth regularly: gum recession due to hard bristles and/or overzealous brushing techniques;...

Thursday, October 25, 2012
$19.99 from Amazon »

How the heckfire did Seth Casteel even come up with this idea of photographing dogs fetching balls and sticks and other lures of underwater canine submersion? Its hilarity--with one wrench of pure horror in the form of a snarling...

Tuesday, January 1, 2013
$1,388.66 from Shapeways »

This is what my head feels like this morning. I thought it would be appropriate for the day after New Year's Eve (aka New Year's Day) in case yours does too. Misery loves company. Company now comes in the form of a Nuke Lamp....

Wednesday, September 18, 2013
$2,299.99 from Entertainment Earth »

My life-size Iron Man statue needs a buddy. Or a nemesis so I can choreograph elaborate sparring bouts for the two of them in my head. Or how about Tony Stark can be my super-ego and this 6' tall stormtrooper my id, and together...

Friday, December 6, 2013
$48 from Amazon »

If your kids are afraid of Santa the jolly bearded fat man, just dress up as Santa the faceless creeper in the second skin bodysuit and show them what real terror is. Ho, ho, ho, an ocelot ate my face! Now I spread Christmas...

Tuesday, December 10, 2013
$27.97 from Amazon »

Beware ye who enter the the Cave of Caerbannog without backup in the form of cozy, yet stylish, footwear. Officially licensed by Monty Python--with a snarl-and-sap of approval from the Killer Rabbit himself--these snaggletoothed...

Thursday, May 9, 2013
$29.99 from Pure Gear »

Retro game smartphone cases go legitimately retro--like back to the 1920s when the only people still alive who would remember pachinko boards and ball mazes as their primary form of childhood entertainment really can't remember...

Saturday, December 22, 2012

I have so many reasons to celebrate. 1) It didn't reach 1215 degrees F yesterday (and despite some initial white-knuckling turbulence, my airplane did not fall out of the sky). 2) Three days from now I'm going to be receiving...

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

This belongs on The Game of Thrones or Lord of the Rings. This bed made of ash and featuring silk curtains, is part of a collection of furniture. I think this bed is probably too good for me. If I laid my dirty feet down on...

Wednesday, August 15, 2012
$334.99 from SpyHawk »

Normally, I don't like the idea of a Big Brother entity invading citizens' privacy and monitoring their every move. But I can go for it on occasion. Like on the occasion that Big Brother is me. Like on the occasion that I...

Saturday, September 7, 2013

It's the double helix of your literary life. And remember, there's a 50/50 chance its contents will get passed down to your kids, so maybe try filling it with something other than comic books, porn, and smooth jazz, 'ey?...

Monday, September 2, 2013
$32 from Best Made »

This is a nice cup. It's sturdy--steel coated with enamel, double-thick on the handle and rim to defray those areas' proportionately high use and abuse. Also it has "Steadfast" and "Best Made" stamped in large letters all...

Sunday, December 16, 2012
Sold Out from Amazon »

Of course I don't need a mitten-koozie hybrid so that I may drink chilled alcoholic beverages in freezing temperatures, one right after another like the gluttonous, midwestern lush that I am, without rendering my delicate...

Tuesday, October 15, 2013
$59.98 from Amazon »

Here's a blast from Halloween past. And not just OG, circa 1978 Michael Meyers, OG 2.0, circa 1998 Michael Meyers too. Remember when they released the Halloween H20 remake to celebrate the series' 20th anniversary? And Jamie...

Wednesday, June 5, 2013
$27 - $100 from Havoc Boards »

Havoc Boards. Fifteen custom-designed maps of cities, countries, and regions either printed on professional grade gaming board or engraved in solid wood, and primed for your Mark "The Undertaker" Calaway-style total domination....

Wednesday, September 11, 2013
$19.98 from Amazon »

Dish Soap + Cast Iron Cookware = Very Bad Cleaning Method. But evidently, Chainmail + Cast Iron Cookware = World's Best Pot and Pan Scrubber. The CM Scrubber looks like a cross between a potholder and the second ugliest shoes...

Saturday, June 15, 2013
$7.99 from Amazon »

Well, Prism Glasses for reading in bed or Prism Glasses for reading while lying flat on your back on the hood of someone's Honda Civic after you wake up from a drunken pass out and need to smartphone your way into determining...

Tuesday, March 19, 2013
$145 from Amazon »

Sunglasses. They can become as iconic as the people whose eyes they cover. Like the ones that Aykroyd and Belushi wore in The Blues Brothers. That Tom Cruise wore in Top Gun. That Ray Charles wore in...life. And now, from...

Wednesday, July 3, 2013
$16.46 from Amazon »

If they were going to craft a Scarface garden gnome aiming an M16A1, you would think they could have also added some Al Pacino droopy eyes and a pouty mouth underneath that Santa Claus beard. As it stands--at only 9-1/2" tall...

Saturday, August 24, 2013
$59 from SpitJack »

Isn't there a Meat Is Torture bumper sticker out there? I think the SpitJack Magnum Meat Injector Gun is about to inspire its antagonist: Torture Your Meat. This thing looks ominous. Like a kitchen tool I want emphatically...

Thursday, March 15, 2012

Instead of outgrowing your superhero, fairytale, and cartoon character childhood toys, let them mature with you. Preserve their magnificence, and thwart being labeled a creepy action figure nerd, with Evil Robot Designs' Bespoke...

Tuesday, May 15, 2012
$78.17 from Amazon »

Life-sized is still a few feet away, but this giant Chewbacca plush toy measures in at a formidable 24" tall x 15" wide. Which is probably bigger than the kid you're going to pretend you're buying him for. And when you press...

Wednesday, August 24, 2011
$49 million from Yahoo »

Think the washer and dryer included? This place has to be seen to be believed. Can someone who lives in LA drive by there and tell them you want to get some video for DudeIWantThat.com? Also get a video of their response when...

Saturday, March 3, 2012

Otherworldly neon suction cups for the legs! Artist James Lillis took a NASA photo of an actual galaxy, and transposed it onto tongue-waggingly tight leggings in purples and blues so riveting anyone who gazes upon them will...

Sunday, September 4, 2011
$49.99 from ThinkGeek »

Equally adept at keeping your more retarded friends locked in as getting them all killed in a fire, the Defendius Labyrinth Security Lock is a pretty cool concept. Wouldn't this be better for impeding entry to keep all of...

Wednesday, November 28, 2012
Sold Out from Amazon »

Dogs. Always wanting to do everything their humans do. Drink beer. Hog the bed. Hump ladies' legs. And while they've mastered the latter two, minus the times a drunk guest sneaks them a few swigs during holiday parties, dogs...

Thursday, October 31, 2013

Rebel knows you could stuff your smartphone in a waterproof pouch and enjoy its muffled sounds in the shower or by the pool. Or risk hooking it up to a speaker in the kitchen and sloshing suds and bloody chicken juice on it....

Wednesday, November 21, 2012
$1,095 from Oru Kayak »

The San Francisco Bay Area: Big waters, small living spaces, crowded streets, zero parking. Because Anton Willis loves to kayak, and because he isn't a whiner who sits around complaining about problems instead of doing something...

Tuesday, September 3, 2013

Now that flavored vodkas have started to peak in trendiness--I saw Cilantro over the weekend--and most states are prohibiting smoking inside public places, it's only natural that some enterprising company would bring Tobacco...

Thursday, January 24, 2013
Sold Out from Amazon »

Admittedly, when I think "dogfight", the next words that pop into my head aren't typically "helium balloons". However, I am learning to be more creatively minded. For example, I recently applied cream cheese to my all-beef...

Thursday, February 13, 2014
$9.53 from Amazon »

The Aqueduck. Is it a faucet extender for kids who can't quite reach the fixture, or a faucet extender for men like me who crack their teeth on the spigot each time they try to get a drink after taking a leak in the middle...

Sunday, September 18, 2011
Discontinued

Nothing says you mean business in a fight (or life) like a set of deer antlers fashioned into brass knuckles gripped loosely in an open hand. I think just wearing them is enough to deliver a firm message. What that message...

Wednesday, December 19, 2012
$89.99 from Etsy »

Aaahhh! Sensory overload! Star Wars, comic books, low cut, short skirt, hot girl...too many pleasing stimuli for my sensitive male ecosystem to process. Now this is a New Year's Eve dress if I've ever seen one....

Tuesday, August 28, 2012
$8,500 from Inno-Motion »

The Swiss LimbIC chair, which looks more like part of an amusement part ride than a cubicle fixture, proposes to take ergonomic furniture to new levels of comfort, freedom, and neurological stimulation. Kind of like the desk...

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Monday, January 21, 2013
$12 from Gama Go »

Not just an ice skull, but an ice skull with geometric lines and bends that make it look like some sort of diamond or crystal Indiana Jones-style ice skull. Astonishing what they can do with plastic molds these days. Just...

Wednesday, January 23, 2013
$150 - $160 from NFNT »

The Big Face Woody. Is the name alone not reason enough to pledge our support of Oahu designer NFNT's bamboo watch? I wonder how many people inadvertently stumble across this eco-friendly wooden timepiece during Google searches...

Saturday, September 21, 2013
$6.95 - $15.95 from Amazon »

Bizarro fiction author Cameron Pierce has won awards for his fantastical, trippy, borderline psychotic tales of what life could be like if we all made better use of our imaginations, and consumed many, many tabs of acid. His...

Friday, January 11, 2013
Discontinued

Christmas: Over. Valentine's Day: Dammit! Still to come. But get your wife/girlfriend/favorite cheese girl at the Whole Foods a Star Wars Death Star Heart Necklace, and you'll both check another gift off your list and make...

Wednesday, April 3, 2013
$5.50 - $23 from Etsy »

Honey-spiced locusts from A Feast of Ice and Fire's Essos chapter may be a more authentic dessert to serve at your next Game of Thrones viewing party, but...ew. That sounds disgusting. Aren't locusts bugs? People from Essos...

Saturday, September 28, 2013
$0.99 from Blow Up Traffic »

I think I'm in love. Blow Up Traffic is an iPhone app that simulates setting fire to gridlocks or otherwise offensive individual vehicles that are driving like complete fucking morons, such as buses and Toyota Priuses. And...

Tuesday, September 25, 2012

The days of old school Nintendo Zappers and Duck Hunt have come full circle. Except this time the Zapper is souped up with a 2W+ blue laser, and can blast real ducks. Or at least light paper ducks on fire. DIY extraordinaires...

Wednesday, December 11, 2013
$14.99 from NYC Taxi Calendar »

See, ladies, why waste time exacting revenge upon your ex-boyfriend when you could be spending it pursuing one of these hot transportation professionals as your new boyfriend? The 2014 NYC Taxi Drivers Beefcake Calendar is...

Wednesday, March 14, 2012
Discontinued

Android meets virtual reality meets music meets...cat. Does the Finger Piano really need the Japanese qualifier for anyone to guess where it's from? One note per finger, plus three notes on the wrist, equals a full octave...

Friday, July 5, 2013
$8.84 from Amazon »

What can I say about the Tetris sandwich cutter except that it cuts sandwiches into shapes based on the all-time best of all games of all time? UNO can barely crawl out of its little paper carton in the presence of Tetris...

Thursday, May 16, 2013
Sold Out from Etsy »

Designer Samantha Ulrich calls this her Googly Eyed Monster Mug, I guess due to Sesame Street's having a corner on the market of using the words "Cookie" and "Monster" consecutively. Which, on the one hand, is kind of BS seeing...

Wednesday, July 10, 2013
$5.99 from Amazon »

Despite the ominous reputation it's earned by way of musical theater and Rick Moranis (hey, two completely relevant references to Rick Moranis in a week!) the Venus flytrap is a pretty lame carnivore. Kind of like girls who...

Thursday, February 14, 2013
$466 from Studio Toer »

Possible Dome Stool Disclaimer: "Toer designed a stool that gives the appearance of sitting on air." Appearance? As in looks like one is sitting on air, not that one experiences the buttock tactile sensation of sitting on...

Wednesday, August 29, 2012

The Hybrid Race Replica, or HRR, Motorcyle is a material science concept racing bike that harnesses the power of 1 million babies, er, I mean the sun, with its thin film solar paint, as well as colleccts clean backup power...

Saturday, October 27, 2012
$275 from Hard Point »

In life, it's important to possess three things with a pistol grip: a pistol; a hairdryer; and a Manticuda knife. Designed for ease of access and supreme thrusting power, the steel Manticuda's fixed blade and 90-degree bend...

Tuesday, May 21, 2013
Discontinued

In discussing the Back to the Future DeLorean external hard drive with my friend Bartholomew, he raised a couple of fair questions: 1) 750 GB for $385?! What, is that an October 26, 1985 storage capacity and technology price...

Monday, February 20, 2012
$79 from Photo Jojo »

March Madness looms. Imagine sitting amidst a heated, neck-and-neck Final 4 battle during which you could simultaneously film: the epic panorama of on-court action to the right; a head coach about to soil himself screaming...

Friday, December 13, 2013
$46.32 from Amazon »

The Swissmar girouette says it was devised to shave and curl Tete de Moine, a fancy cheese from Switzerland that probably costs $100 pound, but you can also use it to make byooteeful ribbons of chocolate, or on any old cheese...

Sunday, May 26, 2013
$749.99 from Amazon »

If its photographic depictions are accurate, the Rainforest Rapids amusement park is an inflatable backyard installation suitable for both wet and dry bouncy-bouncy fun, as well as both small children who want to splash in...

Thursday, November 21, 2013
$50 - $350 from Safe House USA »

Nothing screams wealth and class like marble flooring, marble countertops, marble statues, and marble-covered rolls in the hay. Here, Safe House USA gives buyers the option of going full mar-balls to the wall with their patterned...

Wednesday, September 4, 2013
$22.95 - $27.95 from Amazon »

If you can't afford to be a stormtrooper in latex, how about an R2D2 in body-hugging cotton blend? This tunic-length tank top is very classy stuff, ladies. Very classy. I say that not only as a man who would be honored to...