A Geek's Gift Guide of Gadgets, Gear and Novelties    * Updated daily

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Wednesday, April 18, 2012
$12.99 from Amazon »

Installing Jonny Glow strips on your toilet will preclude stubbed toes, bumped knees, smacked elbows, total face plants, and pissing on the cat during semi-conscious orienteering trips to the bathroom in the pitch black of...

Tuesday, October 22, 2013
Discontinued

Default setting during Settlers of Catan play is already shaking my fist while bellowing a battle cry. Sometimes of conquer. Sometimes of defeat. Funny how those sounds and gestures have global emotional applications. Anyway...

Monday, December 30, 2013
$49.50 from Amazon »

Oh I'll buy a Senz stormproof smart umbrella alright. I'll also take one of those red-lipped brunettes in a cocktail dress to valiantly shield from torrential downpours and winds of up to 50 mph with it....

Monday, July 15, 2013
$265 from Etsy »

I really like it when people repurpose things. Like when they turn shipping containers into houses or whipped cream into bikinis. And although this piston looks kind of angry and dead in its skullified iteration, I still give...

Tuesday, December 18, 2012
$17.65 - $26.77 from Amazon »

Almost as interesting as it will be to watch the effects of my grandpa ingesting 4 pounds of processed sugar a la Slo Pokes, Red Hots, and Chuckles on Christmas morning is noting that, of the wax-wrapped candy treats contained...

Wednesday, October 9, 2013
$29.99 from Etsy »

Poor Thing. Someone lit him on fire and in the absence of a mouth, or thumb and forefinger that can reach the top of his wrist, it looks like he's doomed to burn. If you give him a few minutes I hear blood will start running down his sides....

Thursday, March 27, 2014
$11.99 from Perpetual Kid »

Why do I need a cookie cutter with a bite taken out of it? I can do this myself. In fact, when I have cookies taking bites out of them is pretty much all I do. I like the shark though. Kids might dig this whole Snack Attack...

Thursday, January 10, 2013
$33.90 from Amazon »

An update of theKube, nano MP3 player newKube debuted a few days ago at the 2013 Consumer Electronics Show in Vegas. Improvements to the previous model are based on user feedback, and include an inbuilt equalizer with up to...

Saturday, February 22, 2014
$8.99 from Amazon »

It would be better if it were in the shape of the toast I'm going to pile it on, and I also doubt my ability to flip an egg within such tight confines without losing part of it to my burner, but I still appreciate the sentiment...

Tuesday, July 24, 2012
Sold Out from Amazon »

For those who believe Oregon is just full of bike-ridin', tree-huggin', farmer's-market-shoppin', paradoxically-Nike-wearin' liberal geeks...well, maybe you're mostly right, but Oregonians also have some pretty wicked creativity...

If bat shit looked like 1000mW of ice-blue lightning, the S3 Spyder III Arctic Laser would be the physical manifestation of bat shit crazy. As it stands, the world's most powerful laser is just fuckin' nuts. Wicked Lasers' (absolutely, 100% legal) handheld bolt of pure spectral power counts amongst its marketable skills the ability to: Sear through ornery plastic, pop bitch-ass balloons, burn continuously, 24/7, without sustaining damage to its laser diode, function in 9 different operating modes, including Strobe, Constant Wave, SOS, Beacon, and Tactical Hibernation, emit 0.25 Lux of light at a distance of 6,856 meters, turn anyone it hits in the eye at a distance of 149 meters or less into Ray Charles, minus the musical talent and soul.

And if that weren't enough to get it laid every day for the duration of its 5,000+-hour serviceable life, Guinness is currently testing the S3 Arctic for the official title of World's Most Powerful Laser.

The S3 Arctic Series Laser resides in an aircraft grade aluminum chassis that's smaller than a standard flashlight.

Thursday, March 28, 2013

My friend DeAndre ran with the bulls in Pamplona once, and he assures me that the expression "strong like bull" is no, well, no bullshit. People get impaled and tossed and stampeded and DeAndre saw one guy take a horn to the...

Saturday, August 10, 2013

According to the Choosatron, "as technology has advanced, so has the way we tell stories." I agree. Particularly with regard to online dating profiles in which all women are drama- and maintenance-free, and weigh the same...

Saturday, December 28, 2013
$16.23 from Amazon »

I don't really see the point in ironing clothes unless someone who's not me is doing the ironing, but I guess if you're an advocate of the activity you might like this itty bitty iron for use in wrinkle extermination while...

Thursday, October 24, 2013
Sold Out from Amazon »

The Catzilla sweatshirt's manufacturer got me all hyped naming their bitchin' piece of runway domination the "Catzilla sweatshirt," but then pulled a Ben Stiller movie and stunk it up on the garment's description: "Sweatshirt...

Saturday, July 27, 2013
Discontinued

By Cryos Illumination's definition, Function in flashlight form means a light output of up to 1600 lumens with endless, user-controlled variability in between. It means dual 1/4-20 tripod threads and a uniquely practical design....

Wednesday, May 16, 2012
$129.99 from Etsy »

Diablo III saw its May 15, 2012 release plagued by the most wretched of all the Prime Evils: Error 3006. That's why it's always better to stick with the classics. Original issue NES Diablo may be an ancient one by laws of...

Saturday, August 17, 2013
$49.95 from Amazon »

I almost started crying when I saw the Yonanas maker of healthy ice cream. It's what I imagine laying eyes upon my first child for the first time will feel like, except where the ice cream maker evokes awe and undiluted joy...

Wednesday, February 13, 2013

If you're going to give an avocado the Cuber treatment, you must first acquire an avocado. Now I know one way to accomplish this task entails a simple trip to the grocery store. But we live in a paradoxical age of extreme...

Tuesday, June 25, 2013
$4,495 from Kid Kustoms »

I'd give myself about 40 minutes of pushing one of these hot rod fendered strollers around before dinging and scratching it up beyond recognition from skimming walls and banging into corners. Pushing a kid cart around is so...

Monday, September 19, 2011

These little guys remind me of the characters in the movie 9. This collaboration is pretty cool and comes with a back story and a rabid internet fan base. Each "squadt" can stand alone, or form a part of a large collection....

Saturday, April 27, 2013
$169.95 from Amazon »

Other solar powered chargers exist...I mean, I think they do. I use the power of my mind to charge my devices, so I don't exactly keep up. But from what I hear from the less psychically apt and electrically inclined, there...

Friday, October 5, 2012
$25 - $65 from Amazon »

This Halloween, dress like you grew up in Iowa. The many men of Slipknot have many faces, most of them incredibly disturbing and fitting for a night of scaring the ever-loving sweet Jesus out of kiddos and seniors and maybe...

Sunday, December 16, 2012
$40.98 - $45.63 from Shapeways »

The effects of the weekend call for a thick shot of Death Wish Coffee and a long drag of a Marlboro Light. It's almost like Solo e Sola knows that my Saturday night culminated in the crushing of a raw egg in my right hand*...

Friday, October 18, 2013
Sold Out from Amazon »

I don't need a knuckle knife topped with a skull to prove I'm a fantasy master, just the sworn testimony of my ex-girlfriends. Come on ladies, tell them about the fiery passion of Igor the Dragon....

Sunday, April 29, 2012
Discontinued

Is it funny 'cause it's true? The witty, yet unfortunate Video Game Junkie Wedding Cake Topper is a Cynthia Niles custom design, made to order with a jumbo flat screen, and whatever gaming image, console & hand controller...

Saturday, December 14, 2013

Would discovering a girl is wearing anti-sweat armpit stickers in the middle of making out with her be better or worse than discovering she's wearing a heavily padded bra? I can't decide. Both would be incredibly disappointing....

Saturday, February 4, 2012

Ok, guys, here's your mannequin. Now all you need is a couple of brassieres and the skills imparted by Gary and Wyatt to send you from single and living alone to Konichiwa, mon amour. I am at your service. This French Maid...

Tuesday, October 16, 2012
$850 - $1,750 from Opulent Items »

Lamps and nightlights no longer have the corner on the lava market. Jockimio's Liquid Lava Tabletops comprise two sheets of polycarbonate sandwiching pleasingly vivid hues of liquid that swirl and lumber to the touch of a...

Tuesday, June 4, 2013
Sold Out from Etsy »

Uh, this one's for the ladies? When the toggle on the Han Solo in Carbonite switch plate is turned on, there will be no doubt Han Solo in Carbonite is turned on. I'm not sure how men--even the most devoted of Star Wars fans--will...

Tuesday, August 14, 2012
$125 from Beta Brand »

Betabrand, which also gave life to the Dress Pants Sweatpants, now sets its sights on helping you to, I quote, "make a nuclear-fueled spectacle of yourself" with its Reversible Disco Hoodie. Black cotton business on the outside...

Saturday, July 13, 2013

A Hovercraft Golf Cart, say what? It's like country club meets Star Trek convention. Caddyshack meets Back to the Future. Rich people meets...things only rich people can afford....

Tuesday, July 17, 2012
$387k from Lamborghini »

When the Dark Knight rises he'll be chillin' in carbon fiber, revving a 700 HP V12 engine, and surging from 0 to 62 mph in 2.9 seconds. The Lamborghini Aventador LP 700-4 makes its big screen debut--and probably one of its...

Sunday, October 27, 2013
Sold Out from Amazon »

Maker Archie McPhee says, "No one can be angry at you while you're wearing this latex Pug Mask." I don't know whether to scoff at and rebuttal that or just swallow the couple tablespoons of vomit the statement made me throw...

Thursday, September 6, 2012
By: Ben Pawle

Though noble, I was very surprised to learn that One-Handed Condom Wrapper dreamer upper and designer Ben Pawle developed his concept (yes, sadly just a concept at this point, though now that it's hit the Web, I imagine...

Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Described as an Interactive Pool Table System, this really has to be seen in action to be believed. Transform any pool table into a digitally-enhanced video experience. High-definition imagery responds in real-time to every...

Sunday, January 29, 2012
$15 from The. »

All those turkeys who ask you to send them money? Relatives, charities, Billy Graham, the IRS. For less than $20, you can now ship each one of them thousands. And since these dead presidents double as packing material, may...

Tuesday, January 21, 2014
$19.95 - $24.95 from Amazon »

Wine Folly has produced a series of infographic prints to assist in the casual wine drinker's oeno-education, and to give the wine savvy a sense of pride in seeing all the minutiae living inside their heads poured onto posters...

Tuesday, October 15, 2013
$29.95 from Amazon »

An easily-assembled pumpkin tap for your easily-chugged pumpkin beers. In order of tastiness, according to Boston.com, those would be:...

Thursday, August 15, 2013
$1,250 - $3,125 from Fun Furniture Collection »

Just in time for you to go to Burning Man and your offspring to stay home with a DIY heap of plywood and PDF instructions as a consolation prize: The VW Camper Bunk Bed! Its double stack of single mattress frames come as either...

Saturday, August 20, 2011
$19.85 from Amazon »

It's been a while since I've done an ice block shot. Too long. This seems like a really good housewarming gift. Tell me you're not gonna be the life of the party if you show up with this thing. And come solo because you're...

Wednesday, December 5, 2012
$98 from Etsy »

Using the Roland TR-909 Rhythm Composer as their inspiration, The Puss Puss puts puts (gotta love the low-hanging fruit) its own spin on musically-themed swimwear with the PP-909 ladies' swimsuit. Knob, key, and button imagery...

Monday, December 30, 2013
$14.25 from Amazon »

I wasn't that impressed with this Lekue microwave omelette maker until I watched the video. Now I am sufficiently impressed. Whomever filmed that thing should receive the informercial Oscar for cinematography. The omelette...

Thursday, June 20, 2013
$99 from Tokyo Flash »

Like playing the bagpipes and rolling your eyeballs into the back of your sockets, I would prefer that you not drink and drive, even if you're really good at it. Tokyoflash agrees, and so has proceeded with development and...

Tuesday, September 10, 2013
$34.99 from Amazon »

For the making of their Kickstarter video, and because destructive testing is always fun, Zendure founder Bryan Liu rolled over the external battery's A4 model a dozen times as it charged an iPhone 4S. Presumably with a car...

Thursday, December 26, 2013
$11.99 from Amazon »

I don't think there is a fast food item on the planet more polarizing than the White Castle slider. You either love them and eat 2 dozen on a dare the night before your wedding and then spend the entire reception puking even...

Thursday, January 31, 2013
$49.99 from Amazon »

Cool kids don't pack heat, they pack humidity. With the aid of any standard screw-top water bottle, the Air-O-Swiss Travel Ultrasonic humidifier will pump your hotel suite or Aunt Jan's spare bedroom full of revitalizing...

Monday, October 14, 2013

Although this leg lamp looks slightly less frageelay than the iconic Christmas Story bulbed version, I bet if I don a beige cardigan and rub it the wrong way it will drop me like a sack of potatoes and cost a chunk of change...

Tuesday, February 4, 2014

25 years of life in Springfield are honored with a potato. Plus some bulbous eyes, a scruffy muzzle, and Woo hoo! a pink-frosted donut with rainbow sprinkles. Mr. Potato Head Homer Simpson has been released as an homage to...

Monday, December 12, 2011
$30 from Etsy »

Breast enhancement surgery is a major decision every 16 year old girl has to make for herself. Why not give the new look a trial run first while at the very same time keeping your neck warm? Don't think that's possible? Nothing...

Sunday, July 21, 2013
$2,830 - $5,990 from Peter Lynn Kites »

Aw dude. It's like the perplexing baby head masks meet the life-size blue whale kite meets the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man descending ominously upon the Ghostbusters gang, shit-eating grin plastered across its face. The Cherub...

Tuesday, June 12, 2012
$22 from Amron »

My problem is that I'm so busy trying to Think Big that I often forget to Think Rational. Scott Amron obviously does not have this problem. His Rinser Toothbrush, whose tunneled handle serves as a spout that shoots faucet...

Friday, October 26, 2012

Nothing like a little colorful latex with cockamamie explanations of what you did to require bandage coverage to make paper cuts, minor dicing mishaps, and drunken tumbles look a little more admirable. Each box of What Happened?...

Friday, August 26, 2011
$215 from Etsy »

This is 8 GB of steam powered awesomeness. Made with brass, copper, glass and watch parts, the interior glows blue while plugged in. The scoop on the tail flashes red while transferring data....

Sunday, September 4, 2011
$75.90 from Amazon »

Great tool for taking your mindless "on the telephone" doodles and converting them to digital masterpieces. Designed for rough concepting and creative brainstorming, Inkling is ideal for the front end of the creative process....

Wednesday, November 28, 2012
$79.99 from ThinkGeek »

Ironically, the prevailing thought I have in looking at the photo of this TARDIS Mini Fridge with the door open is that it most definitely is not bigger on the inside. Look at all that crap stuffed in all willy-nilly (to sound...

Monday, December 16, 2013
$20.06 from Amazon »

One Amazon reviewer gives Encyclopedia Prehistorica: Sharks and Other Sea Monsters 5 stars, raving, "My 3-year-old loves it!" Well guess what, toddler mama, I'm 33 and I love it too! From Robert Sabuda and Matthew Reinhart...

Sunday, August 18, 2013
Sold Out from Amazon »

One way to guarantee your kid grows up to be a spoiled, entitled brat like that little crapper Suri Cruise is to install an in-ground pool in your back yard--maybe even one that fluctuates between pool and patio--and then...

Sunday, January 13, 2013
$54.99 from Etsy »

Hand-sewn Yoda heads atop plush tan sweatshirts we will wear. Those of us who carry the Force will anyway. And with the Yoda Hoodies' slouchy front pockets, we'll even have a place to stuff it for safekeeping. Erin Maynard...

Thursday, June 21, 2012

Here's another idea that could have been mine if I had better ideas: laser-engraved business cards with USB drives. For storing resumes and cover letters. Portfolios of design work, writing, and music. Company sales pitches...

Saturday, May 18, 2013
$18.95 from Amazon »

People from Maine sure know how to make cooking fun. These earthenware Snot-a-Mug egg separators are made by northeast coast artisans to disassociate whites from yolks such that they whimsically mimic a gruesome bodily function....

Thursday, May 9, 2013
$22.99 from Perpetual Kid »

Though not as blood-curdling as a breaching shark in an elevator, an alligator snarling up through a manhole cover on my front doorstep should make uninvited visitors take pause long enough to second guess their decision to...

Thursday, August 30, 2012
$9.67 from Amazon »

Now that the kiddos are back in school, wouldn't it be fun one day when they come home to surprise them with wall-to-wall chalkboards in their bedrooms? Chalkboards you have covered in times tables, Spanish verb conjugations...

Friday, August 2, 2013
$10.95 from EarSkinz »

I may have mentioned this before, but in case you forgot, I have very active sweat glands. More precisely, I am the Old Faithful of sweating. One time at the gym I had a concerned elderly woman run up to warn me that I should...

Saturday, October 20, 2012
$90 from Nike »

X-Ray Leggings have images of real bones digitally printed on their front and back. With an inexplicable collection of screws, broken femurs, and hip replacements decorating the gluteus maximus side. Oh, actually the explanation...

Sunday, April 7, 2013

From forth the brilliant Magneto mind of Dutch designer Jolan van der Wiel comes another player in his Gravity series of magnetic field creations. Candlestick formation employs the same machine van der Wiel built to create...

Wednesday, March 28, 2012
Sold Out from Etsy »

The Princess Leia Beanie is buns o' fun. Wah, wah. Well, what else can we say? Star Wars fans gotta like it by proxy, Stitch 'N' Bitch circle members gotta like it by definition, and girls gotta like it 'cause it's warm, and...

Thursday, January 17, 2013
By: Hapilabs

WARNING: Eating too fast leads to poor digestion and fatness. Well. HAPIfork sure has the Appeal to Fear propaganda technique down. Their marketing team must have studied under my grandma. That said, indigestion and fatness...

Tuesday, January 10, 2012
$4.95 from Amazon »

At this point, the bacon craze has reached a state of lunacy that renders bacon soda somewhat expected. Pedestrian, even. Still, there are smoky, greasy meat flavors, and then there are CARBONATED smoky, greasy meat flavors....