A Geek's Gift Guide of Gadgets, Gear and Novelties    * Updated daily

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Thursday, January 2, 2014

Here's Gotham City burning slowly to the ground. And off-gassing oozy Penguin blood in the process. And a few doors down, the skyscrapers of the capital of Candy Land are suffering the same fate. Up in flames and melting into...

Tuesday, February 5, 2013
By: Behance

I'm not really sure what the point of Pinokio the robotic desk lamp is. Like, I'm not even sure he lights up or provides any practical desktop service at all. But look how cute. He's like a cautiously inquisitive little kid...

Thursday, January 23, 2014
$9.56 from Amazon »

From amidst the screams and chaos, the tension and the trash talk, the chili cheese dip and the chicken wings, a lone zombie hand breaks the surface. Rises up from the pooled blood of Mary. And what's this? Is it parading a trophy from its carnage? A...a...mmm, a pickled green bean. Plus, oh boy, a fat meat straw next to its thumb!...

Monday, May 21, 2012
$24.95 from No Starch Press »

LEGO Heavy Weapons, a guide to transforming the iconic building blocks into equally iconic firearms, is author Jack Streat's debut book. Just prior to its publication, he worked full-time at Algebra 2, driver's ed, and asking...

Saturday, July 20, 2013
$195 from Goorin Bros. »

I'm pretty sure Macklemore, that Caucasian rapper from the Pacific Northwest, spoke of this hat in his song about wearing your grampy's coat and purchasing clothes from a thrift shop. Funny how milliner Goorin Bros. can smack...

Tuesday, October 1, 2013
$25 from Bakery Ave. »

I guess you could make cheeseburger cupcake brownies yourself if you know how to bake cupcakes and brownies, and apply icing without squirting it all over your kitchen cabinets, but I don't. Also, things always taste better when I'm not forced to do work or clean up messes to eat them. Bakery Ave sells their combination fluffy-chewy-sugar-chocked cheeseburgers by the half dozen. All components...

Saturday, May 26, 2012
$30.95 from Amazon »

Will you name the fire breather coiled around your ear Viserion, Rhaegal, or Drogon? Add a little Daenerys Targaryen to your wardrobe with a menacing, yet somehow cuddly-loooking Dragon Wrap Earring. Its tail extends through...

Tuesday, March 26, 2013
$20 from Etsy »

Looks like we're gonna have a grotesque perversion of the fuzzy, frolicky, happy animals emblematic of every major holiday now. First Phillip Blackman took on Valentine's Day with his Undead Teds, and here Undead Ed tackles...

Thursday, January 2, 2014

Usually if beef jerky burns as it travels down my throat it's because I bit off a fat hunk and didn't chew it enough and the burn is due to an oversized mass of dehydrated meat threatening to puncture my esophagus as it lumbers...

Thursday, May 16, 2013
Discontinued

My mama says this sloth ring reminds her of me, and although I'm not exactly sure what that means, based on my extensive knowledge of the movie Seven, which I discussed at great length over beers with an abnormally high ABV...

Wednesday, July 17, 2013
$14.20 from Amazon »

Everyone loves superheros. Super villains. Super powers. Super tales of good vs. evil. And flashy graphics. Don't forget the loud spectral colors and ripped/buxom exaggerations of flashy graphics. That's the allure of comic...

Friday, November 2, 2012
$24.32 from Amazon »

Which came first, the Weston Jerky Gun or the Sushi Bazooka? Squirted meat or squirted fish and rice? Conundrum, conundrum, we may never know. But, praise be to Zeus, like chickens and eggs, my stomach approves with fervor...

Sunday, November 11, 2012
$3.99 from Amazon »

How many things are there not to like about spit balls that glow in the dark, cost under $5, grow to 200 times their starting size when soaked in water...or, you know, spit...and explode upon target impact? Zero. Zero things...

Monday, July 9, 2012
$85 - $450 from Etsy »

Rejoice ye liquor-sipping non-smokers who thought the Octopus Pipes we featured last month would be cool, if only you inhaled. Kraken Flasks are here to evoke equal reverence from those who enjoy a fine swig of Scotch or nip...

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

The complete evolutionary tree of the video game controller, tracking 82 species and 9 genera over four decades. Printed in rich indigo ink. My favorite is still the Intellivision controller which was basically a phone dialpad...

Thursday, April 17, 2014
$13.99 from Amazon »

OXO says, "There's nothing as luscious as a ripe mango." OXO obviously has never seen Kate Upton's rack. Or Kelly Brook's. Or Christina Hendricks'. However, I do agree that mangoes are in the luscious family. The luscious...

Monday, February 17, 2014
$11.10 from Amazon »

Stereotypically, they're awkward. Unathletic. Unpopular. Nasally. Know-it-alls who got no game. In reality, they run the world. And maybe a lot of the 21st century's geeks still do possess some of the qualities of those from...

Saturday, March 29, 2014
$14.29 from Amazon »

Why are we assisting dogs with a task they are supposed to be genetically predisposed to handling themselves? Aren't their fur coats designed by Mother Nature to insulate them both with and against heat? Isn't panting their...

Wednesday, March 20, 2013
$249 - $349 from Cube Sensors »

One of the main things about CubeSensors is that they are unobtrusive and not hideously ugly. So when you're geeking out using them to tell you how indoor temperatures and air quality are affecting your sleep, or when you're...

Tuesday, December 11, 2012
Sold Out from Amazon »

Forget dipping bread and fruit, I'm just going to melt and drink entire cups of Velveeta and Bacon Chocolate Bars with my Fondue Mug set. Geez, this is handy. Melting that stuff in the microwave makes it all lumpy and burnt...

Friday, December 28, 2012
$12 - $39 from CRL Products »

Precision machined dice made from pure, solid metal. Just like my abs. Amber Rix's wildly successful Kickstarter project will reward backers with a choice of 3/4" dice in 7 different unmixed, undiluted material types: Aluminum;...

Sunday, September 4, 2011
$22 from Etsy »

The living and the undead are vastly different creatures. But one thing holds true... zombie snitches get zombie stitches. This choker acts as a suture across a non-existent gash in your neck undoubtedly given to you for your...

Sunday, June 30, 2013

Obviously I like this chess set because most of its pieces appear to have leapt right out of my VHS cassette of Beetlejuice, one of the best 80s movies ever, as evidenced by the fact that I am saying so right now. I sure hope...

Sunday, February 10, 2013
$35 from Etsy »

If given the choice between the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Bra and Miss Pamela's Ninja Turtles beanie, most men would probably choose the beanie for themselves and the bra for all ladies. But not me. I would choose the beanie...

Saturday, June 1, 2013
Sold Out from Amazon »

The robotic fish provide ambient light in a pool while swimming autonomously. They look cool. I'd prefer it if they don't touch me with their exotically-hued lionfishy spikes though. It's like when I'm at a bar and some strange...

Monday, May 12, 2014
$19.99 from Amazon »

You're still on your own for keeping yourself from falling off the ladder, but at least with LadderLimb your buckets, bags, and drills will be safe from gravity's pull. A tool for every handyman and Daddy-O, the LadderLimb...

Thursday, November 7, 2013
$160 from 80stees.com »

By the power of Greyskull! No, wait, that's not it. It's Morphin time! Uh...getting closer, but...no. Hold on...ah, here we go. These robotic lion fangs were impeding the movement of my cerebral neurons. Activate interlock!...

Tuesday, July 16, 2013
$117.60 from Garrett Wade »

Anyone else snicker at the Super-Penetration Shovel's name? Come on, we're all intelligent adults here and, as such, know that the most popular application for the word "penetration" does not involve unruly terrain in the...

Monday, December 10, 2012
$135 from Amazon »

Bubble, bubble, toil and trouble. That's from Shakespeare, I think. Or it might be from the smash hit feature film Practical Magic, starring Sandra Bullock and Nicole Kidman as respectively responsible/prudish and carefree/bad...

Friday, July 5, 2013
$29.99 from Jamboo Headphones »

Rock out with your co...nscientious bamboo and thread headphones out. Jamboo headphones add eco-friendly materials and stylized flair to what has become a fixture dangling from the ears of many a cool kid on campus, at the...

Saturday, August 24, 2013
$12.99 from Perpetual Kid »

I love how, along with depicting the unsavory image of a fat person spilling out of his jeans in a way that still makes me want to take a big bite out of his moist and caky excess fat, these muffin top molds also stay true...

Friday, February 8, 2013

And I don't mean the kind of airplane trunk Auntie Heloise carries when she travels. The Blackhawk Secretary Trunk, an all-inclusive, roller work station, is quilted in polished aluminum panels held together with exposed steel...

Sunday, May 13, 2012
$24 from Games World »

Neon and mesh clothing are back in style, why not the Game Boy wrist watch? Though while Forever 21 has an entire 787 hangar full of hot pink, highlighter yellow, and retina-blasting green fishnets and half shirts, this little...

Sunday, September 15, 2013
$79 from Bosse Tools »

I'm not sure I approve of the Bosse Tools ethos. An ergonomic shovel for driving through dirt and clearing snow that precludes its users from walking away from the grunt work with tweaked backs, sore wrists, and gimp arms?...

Saturday, May 25, 2013
$39.99 from Baconery »

And you thought there was only one way to eat, and then shit, gold. The Baconery's slightly more affordable, 23-karat version of the edible precious metal might even trump Tobias Wong and J.A.R.K.'s pills, as it adds two additional...

Thursday, April 24, 2014
$9.95 from Amazon »

I don't know about the logistics of fitting a mug with a sippy cup top in my car's cup holder, but I do know about the logistics of being able to walk down the street drinking from my favorite ninja mug without sloshing and...

Friday, June 15, 2012

Here's a practical, $50,000 solution to the conundrum of...ummm...BBQing on float trips without leaving the water? Executing the 1-2 punch of catching and cooking fish to order? Romantic roundtable dining cruises with expertly...

Thursday, April 4, 2013
$13.12 - $29.95 from Amazon »

Cleated feet rejoice. Cleatskins eliminate the need to take your shoes off or get yelled at for clacking and scratching the hardwood floor every time you leave the field, track, or pedal. Also, they deliver traction that guards...

Sunday, January 6, 2013
$4.95 from Trongs »

Obviously I like eating with my hands. It goes with the territory of being a man. Buuut...I really hate when BBQ and Buffalo wing sauce get under my fingernails and into the cuts I have from doing manly things with my hands...

Wednesday, July 9, 2014

Guard yourself against hackers and release your laptop from crotchety network admins! Hotspot Shield Elite will protect your private information on public WiFi networks, plus give you access to geo-restricted content. And...

Wednesday, September 5, 2012
$2,060 from Singulier »

Backpacking season is drawing to a close, but here's a ray of sunshine to keep you fueled through the harsh winter: Eastpak's Backpack Sofa, a rigid polyurethane foam and cordura concoction that promises to replicate the discomforts...

Friday, November 8, 2013
Discontinued

I love scotch. Scotchy, scotch, scotch. Here it goes down, down into my belly.... I don't know what I like more: that Etsy vendor Albert Hernandi of miniBIGS made a LEGO Ron Burgundy minifig, or that he made a LEGO Scotch...

Wednesday, March 12, 2014
$8.98 from Amazon »

When I was little Mr. Spock and Dr. Spock were names thrown around on TV and in my household with equal regularity, so for years I thought they were the same person. It seemed only mildly strange that a pointy-eared human-vulcan...

Thursday, April 18, 2013
$15.30 from Amazon »

The Big Black Book of Very Dirty Words includes a fair number of terms I would use in my grandma's presence. "Auxter", an Irish/Scottish slang term for armpit. "Apples", meaning breasts. "All that and a bag of chips", a phrase...

Wednesday, April 24, 2013
$299 - $1,999 from i'm Smart »

In 5 words or less: Italian-made Android wrist candy. i'm Watch pours smartphone functionality--from calls to texts to calendars to apps--into a sleek personal effect forged from your choice of aluminum, titanium, gold, or...

Tuesday, July 9, 2013
$9.79 from Amazon »

I chose a pug to help convey the meaning of this Stop Eating Poop remedy for dogs because pugs both mow on their own turds and suck in general. OK listen. I love all nature's creatures. Mostly the human women kind, but all...

Sunday, September 29, 2013
$56 - $112 from Edge of Belgravia »

It's cool how one color option for these ceramic knives is Zombie-Slaying Green, so I can pretend I'm hacking up the flesh and bones of the undead each time I try to slice an onion without crying like the doctor just slapped...

Monday, January 28, 2013
$149.99 from Podium Cycling »

When I first heard about the Pee-wee Herman cycling suit I thought I had been proven wrong in my contention that nothing on earth could make cyclists look any more ridiculous than they already do. Seriously, does any sport...

Tuesday, September 10, 2013
$56.95 - $99.99 from Amazon »

Even secured inside a Pacsafe, I'm not sure I'd tie my backpack up to, say, a bike rack or a telephone pole and take off on a tour of Prague luggage-free for the afternoon, but I do approve of the eXomesh-cage-and-lock approach...

Wednesday, April 16, 2014
$200 from SUCK UK »

I think someone should make a globe out of bubble wrap so that every time I visit a different country I can gratifyingly pop it off the world. Get to work on that, someone, will you? And in the interim, I guess this cork globe...

Sunday, March 25, 2012

Chest bumps, head butts, and sharp kicks to the shins unite! The Human Slingshot is here to bring new meaning to the lead-in, "Guess who I ran into the other day?" The human-sized stretchable band, 4 close friends (or mortal...

Monday, April 28, 2014
$12 from Amazon »

Taco trucks are the best. Even the one that gave me 28 hours of food poisoning that one time was pretty tasty before the eruptive vomiting and diarrhea set in. Mmm, blackened Mahi or carne asada on a crispy corn tortilla....

Wednesday, January 15, 2014
$14.09 from Amazon »

Ideas? I have lots of them. At least 7 million. Like, how about a southern soul food sushi roll? Fill a steamed collard green leaf with mashed yams, tempura chicken, and some cranberry sauce. Then roll it, slice it, and serve...

Thursday, December 15, 2011
$23.49 from Amazon »

Holy shit, I'm feeling epically perplexused just looking at this gnarled sphere of chaos. And that's not even the interactive fun part. Inside the visual affront is a little steel ball, which must be wound around the structure's...

Tuesday, September 24, 2013

Weebles wobble but they don't fall down, and Bodice Rockers fall down but they get right back up and stand just as tall as they did before. So I guess they're more similar to Rocky Balboa than Weebles. But they're not fighters...

Wednesday, May 22, 2013
$37.13 from Amazon »

When you wake up in the morning 'cause the alarm gives out a warning, do you think you'll never make it on time? And does this make you sad because you'd rather stay in bed? Like, sadder than Kelly was that time she thought...

Thursday, October 10, 2013
$99 from Amazon »

I'm not on the best of terms with my smoke alarm. First it fell from the ceiling and went off. Then I left a few pounds of bacon in the skillet for too long and it went off. Then I had this girl over to watch Major League...

Monday, January 23, 2012
$35.95 from Erox »

Erox is a unisex body spray that synergizes scents of grapefruit, bergamot, pepper, lavender, and amber with actual human pheromones. It's like Axe with pseudo-pop-scientific research, and reality-TV vixen Adrienne Curry...

Tuesday, August 7, 2012
$265.01 from Amazon »

Coffee has become a culture so packed with rabid enthusiasts and discerning connoisseurs it's hard not to compare its advocates to the wine world's oenophiles, the auto world's car buffs, and the marijuana world's potheads*....

Sunday, November 24, 2013
$349 from Pet Chatz »

The simulation of being at home when you're not at home. It's the new black. And from smartphone-controlled security systems to interactive pet communication systems like the Petcube and, now, PetChatz, the application of...

Tuesday, February 26, 2013
$6.95 from Etsy »

When I was in college I worked in food service for 5 years, during which time I smoked a lot of weed and touched a lot of nasty shit. Like I regularly had to stick my hand down garbage disposals clogged with half-eaten pancakes...

Wednesday, June 12, 2013
$16.07 from Amazon »

I would have thought this portable bidet would be aimed towards things like hiking, camping, fishing, and hunting, but after reading up on Washmate's water-spouting bottle I see it's aimed predominantly towards things like...

Tuesday, April 8, 2014
$9.99 from ThinkGeek »

The Chocolate Zombie Bunny is what happens when you make an April Fool's Joke that sends all the little zombies into a frenzy of Easter basket demands, and then off on a killing spree when they discover the punchline. That...

Sunday, September 1, 2013
$1,650 - $1,750 from Squirrel »

Skydiving, BASE jumping, walking down the street: success in these extreme adventures isn't so much about having skills and balls as it is about having the right gear. For example, when I walk down the street, I just make...

Tuesday, May 7, 2013
$63.14 - $70.73 from Amazon »

When you're rollin' (rollin'), rollin' (rollin'), rollin' on the river for enough days you figure out that if you fell in the following would occur:...

Sunday, June 17, 2012
$8,975 from Jetovator »

I've always wondered what envy in its purest form would look like. Thank you, Jetovator, now I know. In a monumentally sick display of flight and water-walking capabilities typically reserved for superheroes, Chuck Norris...

Thursday, April 3, 2014
$13.91 from Amazon »

All I have to say is Wookiee Cookies better just be a treat Wookiees love and not a treat Wookiees are...you know...baked into. I don't need Chewie ginger snaps describing anything but the texture of my favorite after-work...

Wednesday, July 3, 2013

In my opinion and experience, the only thing worse than having to operate a sailboat would be having to build the sailboat first. Why would I want to waste 30 hours (maker BBCo's estimate on how long you'll toil to take this...