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Offensive Crayons

Posted: November 30, 2019
Offensive Crayons & Offensive Crayons Holiday Edition
  • Offensive Crayons & Offensive Crayons Holiday Edition
  • Offensive Crayons & Offensive Crayons Holiday Edition
  • Offensive Crayons & Offensive Crayons Holiday Edition
  • Offensive Crayons & Offensive Crayons Holiday Edition
  • Offensive Crayons & Offensive Crayons Holiday Edition
  • Offensive Crayons & Offensive Crayons Holiday Edition

If your favorite pastime is being offended, get ready for hours of fun with Offensive Crayons.

And there's more! In honor of the heinous lines at airport security, crap presents with no gift receipt you just have to donate to Goodwill, and that jolly fat white mass of heart disease waiting to happen, Offensive Crayons: Holiday Edition!

And there's more! Coloring even farther outside the lines of political correctness is the latest addition to the you-oughta-be-ashamed-of-yourself editions for all the patriots out there, the Offensive Crayons: Red, White, and F*ck You Edition.

If you thought Aunt Jan went red as Santa's Suit in the face when you dropped the F bomb at Christmas dinner, just wait to see the colors she turns when she starts pulling out hues from a box of Offensive Crayons. My best guesses: Baby Cage Crimson and Miscarriage Maroon.

Even if you're one who believes s/he's open to the politically incorrect, one who's thinking s/he's going to buy some Offensive Crayons for the perpetually butt hurt dude in your office, yuk, yuk, yuk, please understand there is probably a doodler or two in this box that's going to bunch up your panties too. And definitely some in the Offensive Crayons: Holiday Edition that are going to bristle the Baby Jesus.

Well, no, actually Baby J will probably be more like, "Mama, what are Regifted STDs and Frosty's Throbbing Erection? ... What do you mean you're a virgin and wouldn't know?"

Offensive Crayons are blunt. They're direct. They're irreverent. And yeah, true to name, Offensive Crayons are offensive. But, hey. Times are changing, the pop culture marketplace is thriving, and Donald Trump Orange is the new Barack Obama Black.

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