Offensive Crayons Bundle Pack
If your favorite pastime is being offended (i.e., Karen) or your favorite means of spreading holiday cheer is offending others (i.e., Karens) get ready for hours of fun with Offensive Crayons!
But wait, there's more! In honor of COVID not being a valid excuse to skip flying to see your family this year, crap presents with no gift receipt you just have to donate to Goodwill, and that jolly fat white mass of heart disease waiting to happen continuing to host lap sessions via Zoom because the mall chair hurts his back, Offensive Crayons: Holiday Edition!
But wait, there's more!! Coloring even farther outside the lines of political correctness is the political addition to the you-oughta-be-ashamed-of-yourself editions for all the players on Team America out there, the Offensive Crayons: Red, White, and F*ck You Edition.
But wait, there's porn!!! Yeah, that's right. Porn. The Offensive Crayons Porn Pack came out in Summer 2020...and it's just kept on coming ever since. The derogatory darling of the doodle world's most delightfully distasteful set yet contains 24 smuttily-named colors suitable only for horny kids 17 and up.
If you thought Aunt Jan went red as Santa's Suit in the face when you dropped the F bomb at Christmas dinner, just wait to see the colors she turns when she starts pulling out hues from a box of Offensive Crayons. My best guesses: Baby Cage Crimson and Miscarriage Maroon.
And for those of you who want, or due to risk of being kicked out of your family, need to color a little less...colorfully, Offensive Crayons also has an Offensive-ISH edition of their crayons.
Click here to draw outside of all the Offensive Crayons lines, and grab a bundle pack of 5 to use as stocking stuffers, Dirty Santa gifts, and rewards to yourself for making it through 2022.
The Big Coloring Book of Vaginas (NSFW)
Is further product description really needed? First there was Georgia O'Keefe, now there is author and illustrator Morgan Hastings. Black-and-white outlines of anatomical wonders beg for your acrylic and Crayola technicolor...
Color My Boobs Adult Coloring Book
Ugh, I am so sick of writing about boobs. Haha...sike! Particularly when the boobs come in so many exhilarating shapes and sizes and practically beg to be caressed. OK, so they're made of ink and paper, and technically...
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The Reverse Coloring Book
With The Reverse Coloring Book you'll never have to worry about staying inside the lines because...you make the lines! This take on crayons, creativity, and stress relief comes with the colors already on the page. Artist...
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The Fetish Coloring Book (NSFW)
That's a nice strap-on you've got there, ma'am, but I think it could use a little more color...
Color-in Wallpaper
Color-in Wallpaper is kind of like I See You Wallpaper, but without the watchful eyes looming over your every move, passing judgment as you eat Hungry Man Dinners, and rolling into the backs of the heads you drew for...
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Offensive Crayons
If your favorite pastime is being offended, get ready for hours of fun with Offensive Crayons. And even if you're open to the politically incorrect, unless you're Daniel Tosh politically incorrect, you might wince at...
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Living Ink - Time-lapse Bio-ink
The researchers at Living Ink Technologies weren't spending all of their investors' money trying to figure out how to revolutionize disappearing ink for the 21st century. They were hoping to develop a sustainable algae...
Super Sculpey Sculpturing Compound
As you can see, Super Sculpey sculpturing compound can sculpt some pretty super sculptures. The mutant dentist's nightmare in the photo above comes courtesy of Chris Maxwell via ConceptArt. Additionally, a simple online...
Between the Lines: An Expert Level Coloring Book
Why does Between the Lines: An Expert Level Coloring Book exist as a Kindle Edition? I mean, I don't really use much technology aside from my flip phone and Apple IIGS, but I feel like the appeal of a coloring book, particularly...
Swear Word Adult Coloring Book (NSFW)
Adult coloring books are getting to be nearly as popular as Xanax for promoting relaxation and managing stress. Pair filling in the intricate line drawings with a few puffs of your favorite herbal refreshment, and you...
The Beauty of Horror: A GOREgeous Coloring Book
Adult coloring books have experienced a recent surge in sales as meditative and therapeutic outlets. But how the H-A-Double-Hockey-Sticks-O-W-E-E-N does The Beauty of Horror think I'm supposed to calm down and relieve...
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Jumbo Star Wars Millennium Falcon Crayon
Who'd-a thought this piece of junk could clean up so well? The Jumbo Star Wars Millennium Falcon Crayon splashes every color of the rainbow - or at least every color in your standard box of Crayolas - over the dismal...