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SOS Boxer Briefs with Condom Pocket

Nothing tells your date, I was pretty sure I'd get lucky tonight, like a sexy pair of boxer briefs. With a built-in condom pocket. Hidden with great metaphor behind a lifesaver stitched to the right thigh. Ah, the only...

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Wine Purse

$23.95 from Amazon »

So is this why women carry around purses the size of their chest cavities? They're packing 3 liters of wine (with complete tapping system!) everywhere they go?...

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PowerShade Solar-Powered Beach Umbrella

$149 - $219 from PowerShade »

I can hear the naysaying negative Nellies now: The beach is for disconnecting!; Can't you enjoy nature for an hour without your laptop?; Why don't you just stay home, A-hole? Um, because I would like to get a tan, and...

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Cyclist's Turn Signal Gloves

$59.95 - $69.99 from Amazon »

I guess if you don't know that a straight arm means left and a bent elbow means right - which, let's face it, a lot of people probably don't - then Zackees LED Turn Signal Gloves would be of great benefit, both to the...

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Bussola Mechanical Skeletel Sculpture

While artist Jennifer Townley's Bussola is intricate and enamoring enough that I could probably watch it move all day long, for some reason watching it at all brings great uneasiness to my heart. Maybe it's the lumbering...

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Rhino Shield iPhone Screen & Crash Guard

$44.99 from Evolutive Labs »

You've heard of the Rhino Shield before. At only 0.029 cm thick and cut to adhere precisely to the iPhone 6 or 6+ screen, Rhino Shield's custom formulated polymer safeguards the most precious devices we own from an impressive...

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Chocolate Megalodon Shark Teeth

$15.99 from Fossilera »

Why eat a chocolate bunny for Easter this year when you can eat...all the chocolate bunnies on earth with a massive chocolate megalodon shark tooth? Muahahaha! These edible and...wait for it...toothsome replicas are molded...

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Jive Jumbo Waterproof Bluetooth Speaker

Oh crap, another speaker lost to the fish bowl. Or is it?...

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Chinese Takeout Laundry Hamper

$19.99 from ThinkGeek »

Got some aromatic Moo Shu tube socks or accidental Kung Pao pants? Throw 'em in this Chinese takeout box hamper for easy transport to the laundromat and your mama's laundry room alike. The sweet (& sour) take on our favorite...

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BioLite NanoGrid Lighting & Charging System

$99.95 from BioLite »

Three years ago BioLite very successfully took its CampStove with device charger to market as a compact, clean energy approach to outdoor cooking. They followed up with the larger, equally popular BaseCamp Stove. Today...

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Magic Tatts 3D Animated Tattoos


Want to make your tattoos come to life without eating hallucinogenic fungi? Then trade the magic mushrooms for some Magic Tatts, temporary tattoos that interact with an accompanying iOS/Android app to create animated...

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Star Trek USS Enterprise Sushi Set

$34.99 from ThinkGeek »

If you thought eating sushi off a wooden boat was good times, just wait until you soy-and-wasabi up your spicy tuna roll in the heart of the USS Enterprise. The most boldly gone of all sushi sets, this nod to Star Trek...

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1907 Harley-Davidson Strap Tank Motorcycle

$800k - $1 million from Mecum Auctions »

Harley and the Davidsons finished their first, single-cylinder, 116cc motorcycle prototype in 1903. It wasn't a lemon per se, but it lacked a motorcycle's defining characteristic: power. Their second bike, developed just...

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BusyBody Desktop Animation Toy

$24.95 from Eye Think Inc. »

When Rufus Seder emailed me a video of his BusyBody desktop animation toy I was so busy (i.e., lazy) I almost didn't watch it. What are these, a bunch of little Gumbies on a mirrored merry-go-round? I've got too many...

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Raiders of the Lost Ark Melting Toht Candle

$29.49 from »

Nothing like a hot day in the south or the Ark of the Covenant to make you feel like your face is gonna melt off. Though after my wee and innocent 6-year-old eyes were scarred for life watching Major Arnold Ernst Toht...

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Kisha Smart Umbrella

$49 from Kisha »

Nothing makes me more irate than getting stuck in a downpour than getting stuck in a downpour with a flimsy, POS umbrella. The Kisha is a solid piece of rain-shielding construction made from 100% windproof and corrosion-proof...

Giveaway Closed

Giveaway: The Space Jacket

When I was a young boy I told my mama when I grew up I wanted to be a spaceman. And instead of saying, "Aww honey, that's wonderful. You can be anything you set your mind to," and then giving me a trophy for eating one...

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Flashback Photobomber Hoodie

$205.20 from Beta Brand »

If you ride the flip side of taking hourly (quarter hourly? every 5-minute-ly?) selfies to Tweet and post on Instagram, and tend instead to wear you hood up and cap low, shielding your face when them camera comes out...

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Halfpops - Half-popped Popcorn

Sold Out from Amazon »

Halfpops are the Hans & Franz of popcorn. Where sissy girly men might eat airy, puffy, pouf clouds for snacks, real Alphas eat Halfpops. Halfpops take your regular popcorn kernels and [clap] pump them up. Less popping...

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Dragon Evolution Sword

$34.95 from Amazon »

I think it's fair to say that any sword that calls itself The Dragon Evolution Sword, but advertises that it features a double dragon pommel..."with letter opener" is not the type of sword that could actually slay a dragon...

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Torch Plant Light Botanical Candle

How precious. A floating puff of plant with an LED light at its end. Though overpriced by a factor of 8, the Torch Plant Light Botanical Candle is a clever centerpiece designed by Japan's Pianta x Stanza to look like...

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6 Million Digits of Pi Poster

$20.95 from ExaText Posters »

It's Pi Day! Happy 3.14.15. You'll be able to celebrate this momentous occasion only once in your lifetime, so I hope you have something good cooked up for tonight. I myself will be living it up with many different types...

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BACtrack Mobile Breathalyzer

Get BACtrack Mobile, a smartphone-attached breathalyzer and app, as it blows through Dude Exclusives at 57% off retail value...

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Shower Surfer Neoprene Bath Caddy

Know what your shampoo needs? A wetsuit. The Shower Surfer is a neoprene shower and bath caddy that secures implements of hygiene without: 1) falling off your shower head pipe and smashing your foot; 2) rusting; and 3)...