40

Dog Cat Scratching Post

By: on July 28, 2012

This poor bastard. Not only has the superior dog been relegated to a life of feline subservience highlighted by cats using his face and body to sharpen their claws, but his creator, Erik Stehmann, also named him Lumpi. How emasculating. Oh, I bet he's been...yep...he's definitely been neutered too. Get ready for a string of news reports about dog scratching post suicides.

Lumpi the Labrador Retriever is cast in polyester resin, and then wrapped in enticing sisal cord that 5 out of 6 cats prefer clawing to death over their owners' furniture. Actually, the 6th cat prefers it as well, but he's a complete asshole, so uses the ottoman anyway. A natural enemy that can't fight back, Lumpi the dog will keep cats' claws in fine fightin' form, as well as provide a realistic training tool for their battles with the real live Shih Tzus and Golden Doodles who think they have urination and defecation dibs on the landscaping outside whatever sprawling upper class suburban home can afford to pay $600 for a cat scratching post.

Alright, I guess if you have the cash, and are into the whole spoiling your cat thing, Lumpi pretty much trumps every other scratching post on the market from an awesomeness of design standpoint. Weighing in at a sturdy 30 pounds, he will consume 35" x 11.5" x 28" of space in whatever fancy, feline-centric digs he ends up calling home.

If you're in need of a cat scratching post, but would prefer to spend $570 less, check out the equally clever Cat Scratch DJ Meow Mix.

Check it out

Samurai Pet Armor for Cats & Dogs

Don't let that samurai-armored Shiba Inu's smile fool you. The dog is ready for feudal Japan levels of combat. See his samurai sword? Hiding there in his mouth? If I were you I'd armor up, find a weapon, and brace yourself....

Check it out

$20,000 Hypoallergenic Designer House Cat

Discontinued

The Ashera is possibly the only cat that is acceptable for a single male to own. Because it's about the size of an ocelot, and weighs 30 freakin' pounds. And that's 30 pounds of genetically-gifted muscle, not 30 pounds...

Check it out

Cat Battle Armor

$500 - $520 from Etsy »

Quick, someone get this cat a lance! He's scheduled to joust one of the guinea pigs from G-Force at high noon and only just finished his battle armor fitting. I don't know if he's ready for this. The pigs have been training...

Buy Now

Delectables SqueezeUps - Go-Gurt for Cats

$15.76 - $17.99 from Amazon »

I can has creamy tuna Go-Gurt? Yes, cats of the world, thanks to Delectables SqueezeUps, you can. Fire up your tongue and mind your claws because this is how this treat session's gonna go: I hold and squeeze, you lick...

Check it out

No More Woof - Dog to Human Translator

$65 - $400 from No More Woof »

From the Nordic Society of Invention and Discovery--yes, that's a real society, not one made up by Wes Anderson--comes No More Woof, a device that lifts up the latest technology in micro computing and EEG, and plops it...

Check it out

King Bed with Doggie Insert

Discontinued

Jason Barton made a king bed with enough room for the King of the Bed. Which means you'll be sleeping on a cut piece of memory foam stuck in the 23" insert tacked onto its side....

Check it out

Taxidermy Animal Drones

When I first read about, but hadn't yet seen, Copter Company's taxidermy animal drones I though they just sounded kinda goofy. Then I got a look at the Orvillecopter here. A spread-eagle taxidermied quad-cat-ter flying...

Buy Now

Calmz Anxiety Relief System for Dogs

$129.99 from Amazon »

The Calmz Anxiety Relief System thinks it can settle down your nervous pup using some of the same techniques research shows help people with the same high levels of stress and anxiety. Have you seen the weighted blankets...

Buy Now

Dog & Cat Temperament Leashes & Collars

$14.99 - $19.99 from Amazon »

Dexil's leashes and collars announce your dog or cat ahead of its licks and wags...or tucked tails...or snarls, hisses, claws, and teeth. The line of leads and restraints display pet temperament both by color and big...

Check it out

Cat Cool Pot Bed Pet Cooling Tray

Japan Trend Shop says the Cat Cool Pot Bed "functions as both a pet bed and as fun decoration to make your cat look cute." I thought they were going to say the dish made from "cooling aluminum" functions as both a cat...

Check it out

Oscillot Cat Containment System

On first viewing of the Oscillot video you might think installing one of the spinning paddle perimeters along the top of your fence is like building a prison for your cat. Condemning him to being that inmate who gets...

Buy Now

iFetch Automatic Ball Launcher

$115 from Amazon »

iFetch isn't the first automatic ball launcher for dogs, but it's about half the cost of the Go Dog Go, and I am more partial to iFetch's video of the dancing Boston Terrier than I am to Go Dog Go's of the spastic Puggle....