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Dog Cat Scratching Post

By: on July 28, 2012

This poor bastard. Not only has the superior dog been relegated to a life of feline subservience highlighted by cats using his face and body to sharpen their claws, but his creator, Erik Stehmann, also named him Lumpi. How emasculating. Oh, I bet he's been...yep...he's definitely been neutered too. Get ready for a string of news reports about dog scratching post suicides.

Lumpi the Labrador Retriever is cast in polyester resin, and then wrapped in enticing sisal cord that 5 out of 6 cats prefer clawing to death over their owners' furniture. Actually, the 6th cat prefers it as well, but he's a complete asshole, so uses the ottoman anyway. A natural enemy that can't fight back, Lumpi the dog will keep cats' claws in fine fightin' form, as well as provide a realistic training tool for their battles with the real live Shih Tzus and Golden Doodles who think they have urination and defecation dibs on the landscaping outside whatever sprawling upper class suburban home can afford to pay $600 for a cat scratching post.

Alright, I guess if you have the cash, and are into the whole spoiling your cat thing, Lumpi pretty much trumps every other scratching post on the market from an awesomeness of design standpoint. Weighing in at a sturdy 30 pounds, he will consume 35" x 11.5" x 28" of space in whatever fancy, feline-centric digs he ends up calling home.

If you're in need of a cat scratching post, but would prefer to spend $570 less, check out the equally clever Cat Scratch DJ Meow Mix.

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Samurai Pet Armor for Cats & Dogs

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Wooly Snuffle Foraging & Feeding Mat for Dogs

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No, it's not a scalped Fraggle, it's the Wooly Snuffle Mat. Here to facilitate one and restrain another of your dog's instilled canine instincts with its shag-rug-on-acid pile....

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King Bed with Doggie Insert

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When I first read about, but hadn't yet seen, Copter Company's taxidermy animal drones I though they just sounded kinda goofy. Then I got a look at the Orvillecopter here. A spread-eagle taxidermied quad-cat-ter flying...

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Ruffwear Highlands Sleeping Bag for Dogs

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Ruffwear sure knows how to capture a happy family. Mom. Dad. Baby Doggo in its very own baby doggo sleeping bag nestled in between. Awww, how adorable. Guess who woves their wittle baby doggo!...