Pets

Snout Soother Dog Nose Balm

$17.95 Amazon »

While I am not a dog owner, seeing a dog with a dry, cracked nose hurts my heart. Bad. Like, almost as much as seeing one with only 3 legs. So I can only imagine the distress you must feel if you are a dog owner, and...

Blue Zoca Waterproof & Pet-Proof Blanket

$88.99 Amazon »

I mean, I hate to call Blue Zoca speciesist, but why did they need to deem their blanket waterproof and pet-proof? Like a naturally occurring liquid and your sweetest, furriest, bestest friend on Earth are the only two...

Your Dog's Face Fruit Bowls & Planters

$299.95 Etsy »

Talk about a dog bowl. These fruit bowls and planters molded and painted custom according to your dog's face remind me of the golden retriever my friend Cornelius grew up with. That dog was bananas. He probably also had...

Sycamore Cat Tree

$1,424 Etsy »

The Sycamore Cat Tree is a cat tree indeed. Four stories tall, and built from a real dragonwood tree, Pet Tree Houses handmakes each of their stunning cat towers to order. The leaves are synthetic, made of silk, and the...

Dog Harness Hammock for Nail Trimming

$20.06 - $22.85 Etsy »

I'm sure this Dog Harness Hammock is very useful for nail trimming and other grooming tasks, maybe administering medicine or shoving pills down your dog's throat too. Any pet endeavor that requires your dog to remain...

Voodoo Tanks - Aquariums with Glowing Edges

Aquariums with glowing edges? What voodoo is this? The Voodoo Tank kind...

Bolster Pillow Furniture Cover for Pets

$39.95 - $59.95 Plow & Hearth »

It's a couch within a couch or a chair within a chair for the pooch or kitty within your heart. These pet furniture covers protect your upholstery without relegating your dog or cat to the floor (where they refuse to...

TREATOI Automatic Treat Ball Dispenser

$99 Amazon »

Like getting a second dog, or dropping in for some remote cooing and play on a Petcube, the TREATOI automatic treat ball dispenser is not going to make your pup look less forlorn when you leave the house, or miss you...

Wooden TV Aquarium

$180 - $189 Etsy »

While I do like the looks of this Wooden TV Aquarium it seems like a lot more work than the aquarium channel I can stream on my real TV. I'd have to buy real fish for it, and then keep the real fish alive with food and...

Lilly Brush Pet Hair Remover

$12 Amazon »

The Lilly Brush pet hair remover is named not after the tidy, hairless flower, but a shedding ball of fur and fluff and floof, who herself was (perhaps erroneously) named after the tidy, hairless flower. Lilly was Lilly...

Clearview Window Bird Feeder

$189.99 Amazon »

This Clearview Window Bird Feeder is pretty neat, especially if you've just entered middle age (indicated by your spontaneous need to identify and monitor all birds, squirrels, rabbits, and other fauna that inhabit your...

Stackable Building Brick Betta Fish Tank

Sold Out Amazon »

I'm not advocating these stackable building brick betta fish tanks as good housing choices for bettas, because I really don't know if these stackable building brick betta fish tanks are good housing choices for bettas...

Window-Mounted Suction Cup Cat Saucer

$37.09 Etsy »

Know what I see when I look at this window-mounted cat saucer, a sort of cat hammock that attaches to glass via suction cups? The suction cup soap dish I used to have. The one that created an air- and watertight seal...

Geometric Wooden Pet Bed

Discontinued

My cat, Zanzibar, would love this geometric wooden pet bed. Why? Because he knows the only recurring nightmare I have is about high school geometry class, and he would purr giddy in delight at the thought of his own cozy...

The Bark Potty

$38 Amazon »

The Bark Potty. High-paw for the wordplay there, ye makers of a mulch-filled pee and poop plat for pups. Intended both for housebreaking and apartments or urban homes where taking the dog out isn't always as easy as it...

Busch Dog Brew

Busch Dog Brew is here for pet owners who have always dreamed of kicking back, relaxing, and shotgunning a beer with their pooch. No, I mean in a safe, canine-friendly way, all ye eejits out there who have already done...

DUZ Hands Free Pet Dryer

$219.99 Amazon »

The DUZ Hands Free Pet Dryer is here to make your floofy floof floofier without forcing you to choose between holding your pet grooming tools or holding your dog (or cat - ha!) back from high-tailing it the F away from...

DoyenCat Sushi Chef FunBox with Scratching Board

Sold Out Amazon »

If your cat is the next Jiro Ono of sushi chefs, but he eats every single piece of hamachi and maguro sashimi he slices before giving you any, does he still deserve a DoyenCat Sushi Chef FunBox with scratching board floor?...

TagME Dripless Dog Water Bowl

$16.85 - $17.99 Amazon »

I loved the Old English Sheepdog I had growing up like a brother, but one thing I did not love about him was the smelly, sopping wet beard under his chin he'd always slime me with after gulping from his water bowl. Either...

Petsfit Dog Bunk Bed

Sold Out Amazon »

Not only does this dog bunk bed from Petsfit look precious, the wood panel pooch chamber is begging to look even more precious, as it arrives primed and ready for a custom paint job from Dad. I mean, come one, Petsfit...

Dog Bathrobe

$24.59 - $32.99 Amazon »

If you're currently sitting at home living in your bathrobe, don't leave your doggo out of the lounging fun. The Dog Bathrobe lets four-legged friends of all sizes join their humans in experiencing what it's like to be...

Bissell Barkbath Dual Use Dog Bath & Deep Cleaner

$199.99 Amazon »

The Bissell Barkbath sees you. Sittin' at home. Coronavirus quarantined. Your dog's so damn happy he could do a backflip. Hey, maybe with all this spare time on your hands, you should teach your dog how to do a backflip...

Keep Em Out/In Dog Door Gate

$299 CB2 »

The Keep Em Out/In Dog Door Gate is as fancy as your dog itself. A designer dog barricade for your designer dog breed...despite its redneck-sounding name...

Indoor Hunting Cat Feeder

$17.19 Amazon »

Doc & Phoebe's Indoor Hunting Cat Feeder gives your feline friend the chance to play cat and mouse every night, in the house, and without a dead rodent at your feet as the endgame. Stimulating cats' hunting instincts...