163

Star Wars Love Pillowcases

By: on December 18, 2013
$34
Check It Out

Han Solo. You mack. The only lady I could get away with saying, "I know" in response to "I love you" to is my mama. I actually have proof of this in the form of the one other time I tried it on the one other lady who ever told me she loved me. I got a Hi-C juice box thrown at me, and it hit me in the gut. It hurt too, dude. We were in 7th grade at the time, but "I love you" ended up being a star pitcher on the girls' softball team when we got to high school. I think she even went to college on a scholarship for that arm. I also think she grew up to be a lesbian, so I bet in retrospect she is glad I pulled out my slick Han swagger and didn't "I love you" her back.

Anyway, here are some nice pillowcases with the famous Princess Leia/Han Solo "I love you," "I know" quotes from The Empire Strikes Back. I like them because I think women will find them cute and acceptable as gifts, but they still make men seem cool and in control of their lives, rather than like the whipped little Bs they probably are by the time they reach a point in their relationships that they're buying His & Her pillowcases.

Check it out

Star Wars Fitness Equipment

$64.95 - $199.95 from Onnit »

If you weren't sweating the Dark Side before, one round with Onnit's Star Wars fitness equipment, and I guarantee you'll start. From kettlebell swings to hot yoga, Russian twists to Turkish getups, Onnit is injecting...

Check it out

LEGO Star Wars Millennium Falcon 2017

$799.99 from LEGO »

Start saving your credits and wupiupi. LEGO is dropping a new Millennium Falcon model - a 7,500-piece behemoth of a brick freighter - on October 1, 2017. Need a gift for a man? Particularly a man you'd like to make very...

Check it out

TheTouch Real-Time Heartbeat Rings

$599 - $2,990 from The Touch »

Want to feel close to a loved one far away? Or in the next room when it's too much work to get up off the couch? As part of their mission to "make the most personal connecting tools," TheTouch is finishing up development...

Check it out

Penis Tuxedo

$29.95 from LELO »

How long has it been since someone said your penis looks "dapper?" For me, the answer is an emphatic "too long." The same goes for "snazzy," "handsome," and "just like Jon Hamm." I can only hope LELO's new TUX, a penis...

Check it out

Diamond Ring Candles

$24.95 from Diamond Candles »

Diamond Candles makes candles (duh) with embedded diamonds (du...really?) Each candle is guaranteed to contain a sparkly ring for its burner to discover as the wax diminishes. Granted, they're not all diamonds, and they're...

Check it out

You Is Fine Bears

$17 - $49.99 from Love Is Lame »

Do you love her? Eh. Is she cute? Heh. She is way beyond cute, dude. Hot? HOT. Like... Hotter than Olivia Munn all tatted up and devouring a chili dog in a Xena costume? Uh.... Basically every time I see her all I can...

Buy Now

Han Solo-Chewbacca Reversible Hoodie

$108.99 from Amazon »

Life has been very difficult for some since the Mark Ecko reversible Chewbacca hoodie sold out. It was pretty much the Star Wars garment to end all Star Wars garments. But I like this new alternative alright too. Maybe...

Check it out

Han Solo Carbonite Chocolate Bar

$7.99 from ThinkGeek »

What took them so long? Although I'd prefer an Augustus Gloop drowning in chocolate bar, Han Solo's plight lends itself nicely to aiding in the fattening of America as well. Jabba The Hutt, although posing no long term...

Buy Now

Reversible Sequin Mermaid Pillows

Sold Out from Amazon »

These reversible sequin Mermaid Pillows are like a tactile Etch-A-Sketch made from a drag queen's donations to Goodwill! They're covered in two-sided, two-toned sequins that flip when you run your hands and fingers along...

Buy Now

Nobody Likes a Cockblock

$13.14 from Amazon »

Are you a parent? Then I'm sure you'll agree your precious children have taught you at least as much, and most likely far more, than you've ever taught them. Such as deep, unconditional love. Patience. Awe and wonder....

Buy Now

Cheat Sheet for Men

Sold Out from Amazon »

No, dudes, the Cheat Sheet is not a wallet-sized card designed for recording all of your transgressions (though that probably exists somewhere out there too). In fact, it's almost the opposite: a wallet-sized card for...

Buy Now

Millennium Falcon Blueprint LED Lamp

$49.95 from Amazon »

Have you been searching for the perfect blueprint light? Me too. And wow. This 16-color LED desk lamp went with the Millennium Falcon as its subject! I thought I was going to be stuck with, like, the White House or some...