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Star Wars Spandex

By: on October 11, 2012
$123 - $134
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I have always felt that Star Wars could use more of two things: skin and spandex. Princess Leia bikinis notwithstanding, I'm sure you agree. Right? Well, ever present to charge forth and fill a gap that never really existed, but in a way that makes us feel happy and slightly turned on anyway, Black Milk Clothing has produced a line of stretchy, sexy Star Wars clothing. R2D2 turns up as curve-hugging tank dress, and Han Solo, R2D2, and C3PO all grace the busts and butts of one-piece swimsuits.

Ladies, how do you feel about hot tubbing in Carbonite with a young Harrison Ford wielding a pistol (and strategically placed pistol tip) screen printed across your torso? Two Galactic thumbs up? Then check out the Solo Swimsuit. For a metallic sheen that will turn all residual geeks of the male species into your personal android, the Threepio Swimsuit should come in handy. And to Boop boop boop beep boop your way into free admittance to all Comic Cons, cosplay conventions, and MIT parties, you have your choice between the Artoo Swimsuit, and the Artoo Dress.

Star Wars clothing is available in sizes XS through L.

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Star Wars Fitness Equipment

$64.95 - $199.95 from Onnit »

If you weren't sweating the Dark Side before, one round with Onnit's Star Wars fitness equipment, and I guarantee you'll start. From kettlebell swings to hot yoga, Russian twists to Turkish getups, Onnit is injecting...

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LEGO Star Wars Millennium Falcon 2017

$799.99 from LEGO »

Start saving your credits and wupiupi. LEGO is dropping a new Millennium Falcon model - a 7,500-piece behemoth of a brick freighter - on October 1, 2017. Need a gift for a man? Particularly a man you'd like to make very...

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littleBits Star Wars Droid Inventor Kit

$99.95 from Amazon »

Want your kids to learn a littleBits about tech as you secretly relish the interactive R2-D2 they're building? The Star Wars Droid Inventor Kit hit littleBits shelves just in time for Force Friday II....

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R2D2 Bodysuit

$170 from Etsy »

The march towards October 31st continues. The night of ghouls in glowing eyes and dripping blood, and girls in latex and 5" thigh-high boots. Of bodies dead and decaying, and bodies half naked, well-endowed, and making...

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Han Solo-Chewbacca Reversible Hoodie

$108.99 from Amazon »

Life has been very difficult for some since the Mark Ecko reversible Chewbacca hoodie sold out. It was pretty much the Star Wars garment to end all Star Wars garments. But I like this new alternative alright too. Maybe...

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Han Solo Carbonite Chocolate Bar

$7.99 from ThinkGeek »

What took them so long? Although I'd prefer an Augustus Gloop drowning in chocolate bar, Han Solo's plight lends itself nicely to aiding in the fattening of America as well. Jabba The Hutt, although posing no long term...

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Leather Star Wars Hats

$149.99 - $594.99 from Etsy »

Swans have a reputation for both beauty and aggression, and I think The Blonde Swan nails both with her lavishly brash Star Wars-themed leather hats. All come out of Swan Elisabeth Martin's custom Victorian milliner's...

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Star Wars Light-Up Hydro Balls

$6.22 from Amazon »

Can you chuck a stormtrooper the full length of an Olympic-size swimming pool? These Star Wars Hydro Balls challenge you to find out. Or you can just toss them around with the kids / your friend Cornelius this summer...

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Millennium Falcon Blueprint LED Lamp

$49.95 from Amazon »

Have you been searching for the perfect blueprint light? Me too. And wow. This 16-color LED desk lamp went with the Millennium Falcon as its subject! I thought I was going to be stuck with, like, the White House or some...

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Millennium Falcon Quadcopter

$64.98 from Amazon »

Air Hogs' Millennium Falcon Quad is recommended for ages 8 and up. Huh. I'm not sure if it makes me feel youthful or really uncomfortable that I'm sitting here right now coveting a toy made for an 8-year-old....

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ICE Orb Floating Bluetooth Speaker

$149.99 from Amazon »

This isn't the droid you're looking for. But it is a speaker that sort of looks like the droid you might be looking for. Set the ICE Orb on its magnetic platform and connect it to the right device and it will even light...

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R2D2 Measuring Cups

$19.99 from ThinkGeek »

What? R2-D2 measuring cups?! Dude. If R2-D2 can make me some peanut butter chocolate chip cookies in honor of the fact that I want some peanut butter chocolate chip cookies, my whiny ex-girlfriend will officially be correct...