Charlie Brown Christmas Tree
They say this Charlie Brown Christmas Tree is a nice reminder that the holidays are all about love, but I say it's an even nicer way to eliminate the time, hassle, and mess it takes to buy and put up a real tree. What a pain in Santa's fat gut that is. Hmmm, 8' noble fir hauled home on the roof of my car or 24" erection of wire and plastic delivered in the mail? Spending 4 hours unloading a tree, screwing it into a base, and decorating it, or spending 5 minutes unbending, inserting, and slapping on a lone red globe? Needles everywhere or needles nowhere? It's not a hard choice for me. Sure, the smell of a real evergreen is nice, but it's 2015. They have that in a bottle now.
Plus, Charlie Brown's tree comes with a Linus blanket.
Plus, I won't be killing a real tree like all of you other ax murderers out there.
The Peanuts special Christmas Tree is available in 14" and 24" sizes, with some assembly required to attach its meager limbs to the criss-cross wood base.