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Ka-Bar Tactical Spork

By: on September 03, 2016
$7.91
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See, it's a fork-spoon combo up top with a...knife!...that pulls out from the handle. And--and!--it's black. Ka-Bar's Tactical Spork is a tactical tool for tactical eating if I've ever seen one. Imagine the stealth and precision with which I'll be able to slice my Twinkies and slurp my Spaghetti-Os at 2 a.m. when my girlfriend is sound asleep dreaming of all the rewards she's going to give me next month after I've conquered her Fall Back into Good Habits Diet Plan.

The Ka-Bar Tactical utensil has an overall length of 6.875", with a 2.5" serrated knife blade at the handle.

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Jagdkommando Knife

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If you're looking to stab someone in the back, knife them in the heart, or just royally screw them over, Microtech's MCT1057 Jagdkommando fixed blade knife is the definitive way to do it. A version of the manufacturer's...

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Kershaw AM-6 Utility Neck Knife

$17.44 from Amazon »

I love you a bushel and a peck and a knife around the neck. No, no, it's not sinister, it's a Kershaw Neck Knife. The AM-6, a utility blade designed by Al Mar Knives. A sweet gift for a man, not the morbid nursery rhyme...

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Dango Dapper & Tactical Wallets

$69 - $89 from Dango Products »

Dango Wallets come in 2 styles. D01 is their Dapper, a clean, precision-engineered cash and card carrier. It's made of microfiber-lined leather that's secured and compartmentalized with a CNC machined 6061 aluminum chassis...

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M4 180lb Tactical Crossbow

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Stealth. Stamina. Sniper sight. And that's just the M4 Tactical Crossbow itself. Like, before taking into account the litany of powerful, valiant, not-to-be-F'd-with characteristics Cornelius and I will bring to the table...

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The Nessie Family Kitchen Utensils

$32.90 from Amazon »

The whole fam Nessie damily would like to take a swim in your kitchen brews and stews. Papa the colander spoon in your cooked pasta. Mama the ladle in your tomato soup and passion fruit punch. And Baby Nessie in your...

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Schrade SCHA5B M.A.G.I.C. Folding Knife

$30.84 from Amazon »

The Schrade SCHA5B M.A.G.I.C. folding knife listing neglects to explain its M.A.G.I.C. acronym, so at first I thought maybe it didn't stand for anything, that the caps and dots are just there for their imposing, visual...

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Belt Buckle Knife

$65 - $95 from Bowen Knife Company »

Well I just hope the sheaths in Bowen's blade-wielding belts are secure and hefty enough to preclude any potential slippage or puncturing in the vicinity of the most important part of my body. The last thing I need from...

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M48 Cyclone Fixed Blade Knife

It's probably nowhere near the Jagdkommando knife in performance, but on the (very far) upshot, the M48 Cyclone fixed blade knife is also nowhere near the Jagdkommando in price....

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Throwing Card Knives

Discontinued

Watermelons. You poor bastards. Always on the receiving end of novelty weapon violence. The Gotcha Cap. The Unbreakable Slugger Umbrella. The Blade Driver Crossbow. And now...the Queen of Hearts. That bitch....

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Waves MFS Physio-Tactical Pocket Stick

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Designer Rainer Wenning calls his Waves MFS a "physio-tactical" palm stick, which might be the best bit of pretentious, made-up terminology I've ever heard. Because what "physio-tactical" basically means is that after...

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Origami Pocket Knife

$480 from Bre & Co. »

You won't be able to fold the Origami Pocket Knife into a crane, but you will be able to use Bre & Co.'s 440C stainless blade to slice out the perfect neck and wings from the crane you're struggling to make from origami...

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Handmade in Japan Higo no Kami Knife

$28.48 from Amazon »

Each of these Higo no Kami knives, traditional Japanese non-locking folding blades, are handmade and imported directly from Japan. And if you don't believe me, believe the superb English translation of their product description:...