Civet Sh*t Coffee Beans

By: on August 02, 2013
Civet Sh*t Coffee Beans
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Why do we have so many shit-themed items around here? Steaming turd cakes to send anonymously to exes. Pills that turn your defecation adventures golden. Rich, delectable chocolates lovingly molded into the shape of assholes. Either I really love writing about shit, or you really love reading about it. I think it's a tossup--everyone loves a shit show. And in this case the shit I've got to tell you about isn't just gross and crass, it's coveted. Gourmet. Some would even say toothsome. It's civet shit coffee, or coffee beans roasted and packaged for sale only after they haven been consumed and then shat back out by the Asian Palm Civet.

In addition to the novelty of drinking a coffee that once shot out the back door of an Asian rodent, Civet coffee's appeal stems from the fact that, since civets subsist on a diet of coffee berries, they have evolved into the one species on earth most capable of identifying a perfect specimen. Civets won't eat berries that are too acidic or too ripe or grown by the evil caffeine baron Starbucks. Additionally, some argue that their berry digestion process improves the beans' flavor profile. After the animal eats the berries' pulp, the remaining beans undergo fermentation from the civet's proteolytic enzymes on its way to the excretory system. These enzymes seep into the beans, shortening their peptides and creating more free amino acids.

So basically, all of the beans that go in...and then come out...of these furry little tree ferrets are pretty much ideal for the human palate, and the coffee they ultimately produce ends up being, as it were, the shit.