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Elf Ear Cuffs

By: on January 02, 2013
$55 - $105
from
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Ladies, if you're wondering what dudes will say when you enter the room wearing a pair of Alanya Divine's custom-made silver elf ear cuffs, the answer is, "Yes, please." You like them for their craftily shaped argentium silver wire and stone bead accents woven into the design of your choosing, and we like them for their allusion to an Arwen Evenstar we might possibly have half a chance of making out with.

Divine outlines a fairly extensive collection of elf ear design choices in her Etsy shop. Note that the cuffs' base price is $60. More intricate selections have associated cost increases, while those with no stones incorporated are $5 less. Stones come in round, chip, faceted, and miscellaneous shapes, all of which are dazzling, just like the women whose ears will be showcasing them. And serving as bookends to their impressively intelligent and witty minds. And completely cute and endearing mannerisms. What? Lip service? No. I don't even know what that term means, gorgeous.

Note: For those purchasing a pair of elf ears in hopes of catching my discerning eye, I am partial to the Gears on Stripes and Shaman designs.

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Underhill Home - Luxury Hobbit-Hole

$917k from rightmove »

Now that the British Pound has taken its first real hit in recent memory, you might start thinking about buying up some real estate in England. This 4-bedroom, 4,000-square-foot home called Underhill is a steal at $917,000....

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Middle Earth Map Leggings

$11.99 from Amazon »

Control Middle-earth--and likely all male Elves, Wizards, Orcs, Dragons, Dwarves, Ents, and Hobbits--for under $100. You don't even have to enter into battle or acquire Rings of Power. Leave it to Black Milk Clothing...

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Alpha Rebel KCUF Luxury Survival Bracelets

$230 - $250 from Alpha Rebel »

Life testing your limits? KCUF it and expand them to 9' of 550-pound US Military paracord in seconds. The breaking strength can assist with anything from tying down your gear during a windstorm to tying up the bad guys...

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Santa Jumpsuit

[Insert Sit on Santa's Lap Joke Here.]...

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8-1/2-Foot-Tall Garden Gnome Statue

$2,278.86 from Amazon »

It's gonna be tough to schlep this garden gnome around the world with you for photo ops, but I'll bet if you do the 8-1/2-foot lawn ornament will help your Instagram account go viral. Who wouldn't want to follow Gottfried...

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Sword Keys

$11.99 from The Key Armory »

It's dangerous to leave the house without a key! Take this set that will also serve as your sword and shield if the gangs...of ants...attack. The Key Armory stocks up fantasy and gaming fans' keychains with iconic swords...

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Eye of Sauron Fire Pit

$643.38 from Etsy »

I bet this fire pit knows some good ghost stories. What I didn't bet was that Sauron moved his Dark Tower to Canada, where he and his Evil Eye now mostly roast marshmallows and try to taunt Canadians into saying something...

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The Tempus "Who's Buyin'?" Spin Coin

$43 - $181 from Kickstarter »

Coin flipping is so Ancient Rome*. The Tempus offers a fresh spin on recruiting the fates to help us make decisions and settle arguments today. A spin that's more contemporary, more in line with our current obsession...

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Montana Magica Lodge

$255 from Huilo-Huilo »

Hobbiton meets Harry Potter meets sustainable tourism. Montana Magica is a fantastical mossy lodge situated in a rainforest on the Chilean side of Patagonia, just under the Andes Mountains. It is one of several rental...

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Coonan Triple Threat Apocalyptic Kit

Discontinued

When I think of Coonan, I think first of .357 Magnums. But a close and immediate second is zombie and vampire slaying. And now I'm wondering if the firearms manufacturer and I have a psychic connection. I'm wondering...

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Stargate Sterling Spinner Ring

$124.99 from ThinkGeek »

No, it's not a Stargate Spinner Ring because it was designed for spinners. Though if you meet an especially charming one, you can certainly give it to her, you ol' Daniel Jackson, you. It's a Stargate Spinner Ring because...

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Lord of the Rings Sauron Armor Set

Discontinued

Antagonist. Necromancer. Lord of the Rings. SRG Armoury brings the darkness and malevolence of Tokien's Sauron to life in this custom-made Full Plate Armor Set. Constructed from 16 - 18 gauge mild steel, all suits are...