280

Diamond Ring Candles

By: on December 19, 2013
$24.95
Check It Out

Diamond Candles makes candles (duh) with embedded diamonds (du...really?) Each candle is guaranteed to contain a sparkly ring for its burner to discover as the wax diminishes. Granted, they're not all diamonds, and they're not all set with real stones, but...some of them are. The themed candles can reveal anything from gumball machine trinkets to prized gems, with rings valued at $10, $100, $1,000, or $5,000.

Diamond Candles themselves rotate in available scents and artwork, and ring acquisition takes about 10 to 15 hours of illumination time, except for those who insist upon instant gratification and dig through the soy-based medium with a spoon to uncover their prize immediately. Obviously the vast majority of candle rings will rate in the $10 price range, but should a lucky lady get one with a 14k symbol inside its band, she should take it to a jeweler for a verbal appraisal, and plan to wear an ear-to-finger grin for the foreseeable future.

Included rings are protected from the candles' wax and heat with a plastic bag and gold foil wrapping.

So I think a good idea for men who aren't sure they want to marry their girlfriends would be to buy a Diamond Candle and make a deal: if the wax burns down and reveals a ring worth $1,000 or more, they'll consider it a sign they should get engaged (and poof! there's your engagement ring for $24.95). However, if the wax melts down to a $10 or $100 ring, it's a sign the girlfriend should stop hinting, pestering, and badgering him about marriage, and just enjoy her cheap consolation prize. It's still shiny, baby.

Check it out

TheTouch Real-Time Heartbeat Rings

$599 - $2,990 from The Touch »

Want to feel close to a loved one far away? Or in the next room when it's too much work to get up off the couch? As part of their mission to "make the most personal connecting tools," TheTouch is finishing up development...

Check it out

Rekindle Regenerating Candlestick

While I would prefer a wax color more masculine than pink, I--What? Pink is the color of unconditional love and nurturing? Oh. OK, Mama.--I guess my mama likes pink. Yep.... Working from home today.... Anyway, I applaud...

Buy Now

T-Rex Hatching Dinosaur Egg Candle

$45 from Amazon »

Good things, such as baby T-Rex dinosaur desktop toys, come to those who wait. Who wait, and who burn. Light the wick on this egg-shaped candle from The Creative Desk and experience the joy of hatching a new baby 65-million-year-old...

Check it out

Melting Bloody Hand Candle

$35 from Etsy »

Now here's a bloody handy gift for Halloween. Bryan Lawrence makes these terrifically creepy candles, you guessed it, by hand, using flesh-colored wax for the outer layers of their fingers and palms, and blood-red on...

Check it out

Stranger Things Eleven Bleeding Nose Candle

$39.69 from Firebox.com »

This is an Eleven Bleeding Nose Candle. If you've seen stranger things - say, Taxidermy Animal Drones or Edible Anus Chocolates - it probably won't bother you. And if you've seen Stranger Things, you'll probably love it....

Check it out

WTF Prank Candles

$11.95 from WTF Prank Candles »

WTF does using the term "WTF" in reference to a candle mean? In a nutshell: "Mmmm, this smells incredible! Just like the apple pie my grandma used to make with the shortbread crust and the....gaaaaasssspppp!. W...T...F...is...

Check it out

Penis Tuxedo

$29.95 from LELO »

How long has it been since someone said your penis looks "dapper?" For me, the answer is an emphatic "too long." The same goes for "snazzy," "handsome," and "just like Jon Hamm." I can only hope LELO's new TUX, a penis...

Buy Now

Earwax Candle Kit

$7.89 from Amazon »

Here comes the Earwax Candle Kit just when you thought you couldn't find the perfect gift for your mom. I don't know about yours but I know my mama loves candles, and also hates waste, and based on the number of used...

Check it out

You Is Fine Bears

$17 - $49.99 from Love Is Lame »

Do you love her? Eh. Is she cute? Heh. She is way beyond cute, dude. Hot? HOT. Like... Hotter than Olivia Munn all tatted up and devouring a chili dog in a Xena costume? Uh.... Basically every time I see her all I can...

Buy Now

Yank Me Candles

$19.95 from Amazon »

Yank Me Candles are terrific gag or white elephant gifts in the vein of WTF Prank Candles, but with a different kind of blood pulsing through them. The latter have delightful sounding names, such as Apple Pie, on the...

Check it out

Torch Plant Light Botanical Candle

How precious. A floating puff of plant with an LED light at its end. Though overpriced by a factor of 8, the Torch Plant Light Botanical Candle is a clever centerpiece designed by Japan's Pianta x Stanza to look like...

Buy Now

Cheat Sheet for Men

Sold Out from Amazon »

No, dudes, the Cheat Sheet is not a wallet-sized card designed for recording all of your transgressions (though that probably exists somewhere out there too). In fact, it's almost the opposite: a wallet-sized card for...