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Santa Beard Beanie

By: on December 10, 2012

Ho, ho ho, yo. It's a kitschy hipster beanie hipster kitsched up a little more with the addition of a festive Santa Claus red knit hat and white beard. I've seen quite a few of these making the Web rounds this season, but most seem to be crocheted with wool yarn primed to evoke an itch that lasts for days, complemented by a nasty rash encircling the mouth. Beard Beanie's version opts for a thinsulate knit hat-acrylic beard combination that at least looks a little more comfortable, and like something one might actually want to wear as Skiing Santa trickin' it out down the slopes.

Santa Beard Beanies are one-piece accessories that pull on like a mask and hug tight to cranio-facial bone structures. Beards are all handmade in Northern Utah, so once orders are placed, they may take up to 5 days to ship.

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A Die Hard Christmas

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The Illuminator - Instant Light Projector

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Men, are you tired of spending precious minutes in the morning grooming and edging your perfect specimen of manliness (well, the one on your face anyway) only to end up looking like your 6-year-old shaved you after you...

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[Insert Sit on Santa's Lap Joke Here.]...

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Oh the trouble Clark Griswold could have saved himself if only he'd gone on Christmas vacation in the 2010s. Nowadays one little green box fitted with one pint-sized disco ball connected to one tiny projector are all...

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Street Fighter Ugly Christmas Sweater

The embodiment of ugly Christmas sweater awesome right down to the KO, KO, KOs running along its upper border. It's Ken v. Ryu...and a snowflake...in this Street Fighter spin on the most heinous of yarn creations (100%...

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Crocheted Knight Helmet

$19.99 - $26 from Amazon »

Medieval knight helmets. That's what hip nanas who know what it means to give their grandsons street cred crochet. Now I don't know if Dee Forrest is a grandma, but she's definitely privy to what the cool kids these days...

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Beard Grow XL Facial Hair Supplement

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Snake oil? No Way! Beard Grow XL isn't oil at all. It's pills! Ninety little capsules whose daily dose claims to carry the coveted effect of a full and glorious facial bush that's sure to rival the one on Santa himself....

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I see your ugly Shhh!-ing Santa Christmas sweater, and raise you an ugly Shhh!-ing Santa Christmas sweater with animated eyes bouncing lecherously to and fro as if he were watching a naked lady elf tossing relay and entreating...

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Stetson Carbon Fiber Fedora

Know when I could have used a carbon fiber fedora? Nope, that's not a question dripping in sarcasm whose answer is "Never." I really could have used a carbon fiber fedora last week when my girlfriend dragged me to some...

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Tactical Holiday Stocking

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If you thought your tactical novelties would have to be shelved now that Tactical BBQ Apron-wearing season is over, ThinkGeek is happy to inform you that, au contraire, you can still have a Holly MOLLE Christmas with...