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Santa Beard Beanie

By: on December 10, 2012

Ho, ho ho, yo. It's a kitschy hipster beanie hipster kitsched up a little more with the addition of a festive Santa Claus red knit hat and white beard. I've seen quite a few of these making the Web rounds this season, but most seem to be crocheted with wool yarn primed to evoke an itch that lasts for days, complemented by a nasty rash encircling the mouth. Beard Beanie's version opts for a thinsulate knit hat-acrylic beard combination that at least looks a little more comfortable, and like something one might actually want to wear as Skiing Santa trickin' it out down the slopes.

Santa Beard Beanies are one-piece accessories that pull on like a mask and hug tight to cranio-facial bone structures. Beards are all handmade in Northern Utah, so once orders are placed, they may take up to 5 days to ship.

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Deadpool Christmas Tree Ornaments

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Frosty the Eunuch Ugly Christmas Sweater

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Ugly Christmas Sweater season is here. The days, they have shortened. The temperatures, they have dropped. And the Tipsy Elves, they have knitted. The tacky, silly, funny, and dirty entries in their 2017 sweater line...

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The Dude Abides Ugly Christmas Sweater

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While I appreciate the idea of this Dude Abides Ugly Christmas Sweater, I think it missed its chance of truly abiding by not making the background a Persian rug motif. Bowling balls and pins are nice and Lebowski affiliated...

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The Christmas Car Tree

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If your wife won't let you Clark Griswald it up with a 20' Christmas tree in the house, take your desire to overdo it exuberant holiday spirit on the road with a Christmas Car Tree. The rooftop tannenbaum gives your car...

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The Illuminator - Instant Light Projector

$39.99 - $49.99 from Amazon »

Thousands of decorative lights from the palm of my hand to the branches of my trees, or spans of my walls in minutes. Minutes. Without the hassle of knotted wires. Without the danger of ladders. Without the frustration...

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The Beard Bro Beard-Shaping Tool

$17.79 from Amazon »

Men, are you tired of spending precious minutes in the morning grooming and edging your perfect specimen of manliness (well, the one on your face anyway) only to end up looking like your 6-year-old shaved you after you...

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Santa Jumpsuit

[Insert Sit on Santa's Lap Joke Here.]...

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A Die Hard Christmas

$10.29 from Amazon »

Yippee Ki Yay! A Die Hard Christmas: The Illustrated Holiday Classic is going to be on every kid's man's gift list this year. (Kids probably won't want it. They'll think the John McClane brand of killing and violence...

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LED Snow Flurry Projection Light

$71.97 from Amazon »

Oh the trouble Clark Griswold could have saved himself if only he'd gone on Christmas vacation in the 2010s. Nowadays one little green box fitted with one pint-sized disco ball connected to one tiny projector are all...

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Star Wars Storm Trooper Electric Shaver

$49.97 from Amazon »

They used the Force Friday on me and all I can see is Star Wars merch! The Storm Trooper Electric Shaver from Philips Norelco is another forthcoming (10/1/17) addition to the Star Wars: The Last Jedi frenzy....

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Street Fighter Ugly Christmas Sweater

The embodiment of ugly Christmas sweater awesome right down to the KO, KO, KOs running along its upper border. It's Ken v. Ryu...and a snowflake...in this Street Fighter spin on the most heinous of yarn creations (100%...