Soft Goat Scruff & Goatee Softener
According to Soft Goat, "Scruffy is sexy!" And given that scruffy means unshaven and unshaven means me not having to partake in the laborious task of shaving every morning, it appears I have finally succeeded in my quest to reasonably and believably equate laziness with sexiness! And should I happen to find a young lady willing to make out with me in celebration of this achievement, I won't even sandpaper her face off in the process.
Unless she's into that sort of thing.
Soft Goat scruff and goatee softener is sold in boxes of 3 reusable, hypoallergenic pads men can rub up, down, and 'round their stubble to dull its needle tip ends without compromising the smoldering swagger sporting a perpetual 3-day beard supports. A 30-second Soft Goat massage and no woman will complain or make excuses when it comes time to caress your sprouted cheeks and lips with her fingers, her lips, her...other body parts that happen to be handy. And on a related, albeit far less enjoyable to get lost thinking about, note, Soft Goat also makes kissing relatives hello feel like less of a hostile, scruffy man attack, and helps prevent kiddos from "fearing the beard."
Creator Mike Finfrock developed the Soft Goat in response to his girlfriend's objection to losing layers of her face when they kissed. So I guess that goes to show that sometimes attending to your girlfriend's whiny grievances can result in consumer product innovations and financial success.