Powered Nail Trimmer
Battery-operated nail trimmer, um, no thank you, sir. Actually, my heart is pounding so fast and the knot snowballing in my stomach growing so large right now, I can't even muster the pleasantries. I'm just going to go with, Get that abominable bringer of torture away from me! How can I look at a bladed contraption inviting me to insert a fingernail and not think it's going to do one of two things: 1) rip my entire nail out at the root; or 2) suck in and Chinese handcuff my whole finger for severing at the top knuckle.
Fail, Hammacher Schlemmer, FAIL!
Or, for the misguided of you who think I'm being a big girl about this whole thing, I guess you could also call it a nail clipping SCORE!
The powered trimmer represents a great success in modern-day technology, a means for man to lop off some of his excess keratin with little to no physical exertion or steadiness of hand. The clipper is especially suited to those with limited manual dexterity, as it completes the trimming task without the need to squeeze the fingers or bend at the wrist.