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Know Thy Nuts Soap on a Rope

By: on May 07, 2016
  • Know Thy Nuts Soap on a Rope
  • Know Thy Nuts Soap on a Rope
$14.99
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I guess the Movember Store's Know Thy Nuts Soap on a Rope looks like a set of testicles. But it also looks like a lopsided butt and a white Grimace from the McDonald's commercials. So it wouldn't just make a great gift for Dad this Father's Day, it would make a great gift for women (just add a little bath ball head) and kids (get some purple paint) too!

The Movember organization, familiar to everyone who sprouts some lip fur to get attention raise money for men's health in the month of November, released the Know Thy Nuts Soap on a Rope in honor of Testicular Cancer Awareness Month. Which was in April, which is over now, but I'm sure you or someone you love...or someone you hate...could make good use of a cleansing pair of gonads any month of the year.

Nutty Bonus: each set of dangling balls also comes with a guide to "getting friendly with your testicles." That is, inspecting them for lumps, swelling, pain, or other anomalies.

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Flowering Penis Coffee Mug

$15.99 from Amazon »

For all the ladies (and fellas!) who count floral patterns and penises amongst their favorite things, have I got a mug of a gift for you. Clothing and accessory brand HUMAN goes for a very anatomical part of being one...

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Wobbling Willy - Your Face on a Dildo (NSFW)

Dudes, check out the Wobbling Willy's practical application for all those selfies you've been taking. Your face on a dildo. A way, way sexier (and more functional!) gift for your girlfriend than that framed dick pic you...

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Embarrassing Box Prank Mailer (NSFW)

$14.99 from Amazon »

D*ck in a Box is back! Just in time to dil-dole out some good times at the office and an April Fool's Day gift or two. Like many popular send-it-anonymously pranks, maker Witty Yeti will take a sworn oath to mail your...

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Eletrunks "Lifter" Underwear

$28 from Eletrunks »

Though the above video is slightly NSFW, Eletrunks are not a dirty or obscene pair of underwear. At all. The company's demo of their functional, comfort-enhancing, package-adjusting Lifter cord just makes it look like...

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Amabrush 10-Second Automatic Toothbrush

$90 - $113 from Amabrush »

Amabrush says it's the World's First Automatic Toothbrush, but watching the demo video makes me think it's just the first time someone thought to cross a Blizzident with a vibrator....

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Naughty People Outlet Stickers

$8.10 from Amazon »

These naughty people. Doing doggy style on an electrical outlet. Didn't their mamas teach them anything? Dude better keep his finger out of his lady's mouth (and eyes if they're into that sort of thing) or this love session...

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How to Pee with Morning Wood

$13.95 - $60.90 from Zazzle »

A self-help guide to dealing with the enormous issue I face first thing in the morning every single day of my life and it's packaged as whimsical wall art that will add immeasurable character to my bathroom? How to Pee...

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Paco's Taco Stroker

Sold Out from Amazon »

At first I was like, Who the h-e-double-boner named this kitchen tool "Paco's Taco Stroker?" I'm going to make so many masturbation jokes when I write about it. And then I looked closer and was like, Holy hard-on! They...

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Private Gym Penis Trainer (NSFW)

$59.99 - $99.99 from Amazon »

It's the one body part P90X neglects. But before you reach for a Viagra to long-and-strongify your johnson, the Private Gym would like its shot at ripping your penis to shr-...uh.... Maybe I'll go with a different idiomatic...

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The TAC-SAC Rail Accessory

$39.99 from Tac Sac »

Last time me and my friend Cornelius played paintball he kept getting nailed and hiding and whining like a little goat until finally everyone was like, Dude, you need to grow a pair! And he was all, Dude! It's not me...

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Willy Care Kit

$17.04 from Amazon »

If your name isn't William, and you don't need a gift for a dude named William, I can't imagine why you'd buy a Willy Care grooming kit. I mean, I know it's a common name and all, but are there really enough Willies out...

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Bimek SLV - The Sperm Switch (NSFW)

By: Bimek »

Condoms or Dr. Snip. It's slim pickin's for dudes in the contraception department. And condoms are kinda lame due to the whole desensitization thing. And a vasectomy is kinda lame due to the whole sterilization thing....