Why did the Haircut Umbrella choose for its product model a kid who looks like he has been knocked cross-eyed by the schoolmates who rammed his head through a rain blocker, with its ability to catch flyaway hair clippings during grooming sessions serving as the lone happy by-product of this heinous act of bullying? More importantly, how has this Haircut Umbrella Kid not achieved legendary meme status yet? Not only does he appear to have been rendered retarded and in need of wearing an enormously wide, basin-like collar with a bumper on it during all waking hours, he also appears to be in the midst of receiving a very bad haircut. Poor schmuck. I hope you're at least getting some royalties from this photo's continued circulation, and that your parents are tucking the money away for surgery to fix your eyes and left ear instead of spending it all on custom made lightsabers and DeLorean rentals.
Haircut Umbrellas adjust at the neck, as well as roll up/down to accommodate different hair lengths. They work great on adults too. Good luck getting any adult not named Alan to wear one.