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Atomic Raygun Nose & Ear Hair Trimmer

By: on March 30, 2016
$11.99
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Who'd have thought snipping off those wiry stragglers poking out of my left nostril could be the funnest thing I do all day? Cool beans, Atomic Trimmer!

Wait. This is a trimmer, right? It's going to blast away unwanted orifice hair with little scissor blades, not, like, a deadly laser that will melt my brain too, right? Because if this thing disintegrates me, Amazon, you're going to lose a very valuable Prime customer.

The Fred & Friends Atomic Trimmer zaps stray nose and ear hairs at the pull of its trigger. Evil follicles, prepare for pulverization!

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Trudeau Toss & Chop Salad Tongs

$14.50 from Amazon »

The Trudeau Toss & Chop Salad Tongs may not be as dreamy as Justin, but they'll still win you over with their helpfulness in the kitchen, and ability to get along with all different types of fruits and vegetables....

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The Beard Bro Beard-Shaping Tool

$17.79 from Amazon »

Men, are you tired of spending precious minutes in the morning grooming and edging your perfect specimen of manliness (well, the one on your face anyway) only to end up looking like your 6-year-old shaved you after you...

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Eidos Superhuman Senses Gear

To determine whether or not Eidos has grounds to call itself "superhuman" I forced the gear to undergo rigorous, yet fair, questioning and testing....

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Salvo 12 Commercial Shotgun Suppressor

$1,400 from SilencerCo »

I think most sportsmen would agree that hunting and skeet shooting are fun, but going deaf is not. And while earmuffs and plugs can assist with eardrum preservation, they can also inhibit the detection of other critical...

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The 357 Magnum Gun Hair Dryer

Sold Out from Etsy »

A real "blast" from the past. In a clever display of grooming irony, users shoot this vintage 357 Magnum Hair Dryer at their heads to avoid committing style suicide. We can see it now, the biggest public service campaign...

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Wazer Desktop Waterjet Cutter

$3,999 - $4,499 from Wazer »

Wazer, the self-described first ever desktop waterjet cutter, has a few things going for it. First, if your friend Cornelius has ever sprayed you in the face with a pressure washer, you know how strong a jet of water...

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Pilot Real-Time In-Ear Translator

$299 from Waverly Labs »

Even though Pilot's crowdfunding campaign hasn't even launched yet (expect it on IndieGoGo very soon) this translator has already got the internet abuzz. In English, Spanish, French, Portuguese, German.... Not only does...

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Kinkajou Bottle Cutter

$49.95 from Amazon »

Kinkajou. The word sounds like it applies to a precocious, yet cuddly, mammalian sidekick that sits on your shoulder and surreptitiously swipes peoples' two-bite brownies and tubes of lip gloss during walks through the...

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Ka-Bar Snody Crisis Card

$32.99 from Amazon »

The Snody Crisis Card is punched and jagged for a strong grip and maximal impact when you need to defend yourself. And it's finished in a rich anodized blue with gold edge accents for a slick look and flash of intimidation...

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Brazilian Back Male Hair Removal System

Sold Out from Amazon »

Men, removing unwanted back hair is now as easy as putting on a coat! And if you don't believe me, just ask Wilmer Valderrama, who appears to be as big of a Brazilian Back male hair eradicating system fan as he does to...

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Wiener Dog Earplugs

$11.50 from Koncent »

I don't know who let the dogs out, and thanks to these Mimi Pet Nagai Dachshund earplugs I'll never hear anyone else wonder, Who, who, who, who?! again....

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DUBS Advanced Tech Earplugs

$25 from DUBS »

I always wear earplugs when I go out at night. Not only do they protect what little hearing I have left, but if someone ugly comes up and tries to talk to me they also give me an easy out: I just point at my ears, conjure...