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Atomic Raygun Nose & Ear Hair Trimmer

By: on March 30, 2016
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Who'd have thought snipping off those wiry stragglers poking out of my left nostril could be the funnest thing I do all day? Cool beans, Atomic Trimmer!

Wait. This is a trimmer, right? It's going to blast away unwanted orifice hair with little scissor blades, not, like, a deadly laser that will melt my brain too, right? Because if this thing disintegrates me, Amazon, you're going to lose a very valuable Prime customer.

The Fred & Friends Atomic Trimmer zaps stray nose and ear hairs at the pull of its trigger. Evil follicles, prepare for pulverization!

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Bandit9 Odyssey Motorcycle

On the down side, Bandit9's new Odyssey motorcycle shares its name with a Honda minivan. But on the up, this bike's futuristic black steel unibody and see-through Avionics Display are slick and covetable enough to help...

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WORX ZipSnip Cutting Tool

$34.99 from Amazon »

"ZipSnip" sounds a little meek for what WORX's beast of a cutting tool says it can do. The motorized blade with precision handling steps in where you'd normally use scissors or a box blade, but operates like a mini circular...

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The Right Cup - Brain-Tricking Flavored Cup

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Brain-tricking and NKOTB-approved, The Right Cup is a scented and slightly flavored water cup designed to engage your senses in a way that will make you think you're drinking sweet and fruity water when all that's inside...

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Eidos Superhuman Senses Gear

To determine whether or not Eidos has grounds to call itself "superhuman" I forced the gear to undergo rigorous, yet fair, questioning and testing....

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The Beard Bro Beard-Shaping Tool

$17.79 from Amazon »

Men, are you tired of spending precious minutes in the morning grooming and edging your perfect specimen of manliness (well, the one on your face anyway) only to end up looking like your 6-year-old shaved you after you...

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Nimble Finger Blade

$9.95 from Amazon »

Jack be nimble, Jack be quick, Jack run your finger blade through that gift wrap like a laser cutter through a sheet of acrylic. The Nimble Safety Cutter slips over a finger - any one of them, you pick - and allows you...

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Stranger Things Eleven Bleeding Nose Candle

$39.69 from Firebox.com »

This is an Eleven Bleeding Nose Candle. If you've seen stranger things - say, Taxidermy Animal Drones or Edible Anus Chocolates - it probably won't bother you. And if you've seen Stranger Things, you'll probably love it....

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Your Pet's Nose Ring

$284.99 from Etsy »

I'm all for loving your pet...and your pet's nose. But your pet's nose as a ring? Even if the sweet pup or kitty has moved on to taller trees and bigger litter boxes, I'm not sure wearing a sterling silver cast of their...

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Salvo 12 Commercial Shotgun Suppressor

$1,400 from SilencerCo »

I think most sportsmen would agree that hunting and skeet shooting are fun, but going deaf is not. And while earmuffs and plugs can assist with eardrum preservation, they can also inhibit the detection of other critical...

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EEEARS Reusable Ear Cleaner

$11 from Kickstarter »

It seems we're on an earwax offensive. EEEARS, a reusable cotton swab substitute for ear cleaning, joins the OtoSet automatic ear cleaning headset I saw earlier this month in the cache of tools forthcoming for wax elimination...

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The 357 Magnum Gun Hair Dryer

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A real "blast" from the past. In a clever display of grooming irony, users shoot this vintage 357 Magnum Hair Dryer at their heads to avoid committing style suicide. We can see it now, the biggest public service campaign...

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Kinkajou Bottle Cutter

$49.95 from Amazon »

Kinkajou. The word sounds like it applies to a precocious, yet cuddly, mammalian sidekick that sits on your shoulder and surreptitiously swipes peoples' two-bite brownies and tubes of lip gloss during walks through the...