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Steel Roses

By: on April 09, 2017
$63.69
from
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It's cold as balls in Findland, so metalsmith Anssi Routavirta gave up on trying to give his wife roses from the florist, and set to making her the bouquet himself. From steel. His hand-forged results are all freestyle and unique unto themselves, stemming* from no specific jigs, molds, or fixed measurements. And they come, Routavirta proudly points out, with "a 200 year withering guarantee."

Each steel rose is priced and sold individually, so if you're looking for a gift for your special lady, you might want to calculate exactly how special she is before ordering a dozen.

*Ha! Hahahaha!

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Gallium - Melts-in-Your-Hand Metal

$10.63 from Amazon »

The chemical element Gallium does not exist in pure form in nature, but since it's so magical and badass looking all solid-to-liquid-at-the-touch-of-a-human-hand and all, of course man figured out a way to extract it...

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Steel Self Defense Bracelet

$29.69 from Amazon »

Self defense or self-inflicted injury? Swingin' 'round this full steel bracelet like a chain whip without really knowing how to swing 'round a chain whip, it could really go either way....

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Beef Jerky Flower Bouquets

Men, say it with diamonds. With chocolate truffles. With roses. Ladies, say it with beef. Jerky. In the shape of flowers for good measure. Because even though nothing will tell your man's belly how you feel more than...

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Bullet Bouquets

$29.95 - $214.95 from Bullet Bouquets »

Bullet Bouquets. No better way to call them than that. And just as cool as these loaded pots of blooms: gung-ho shooter and artist Anthony Zambai saw the idea for them on Reddit less than a week ago. When the Bullet Bouquet...

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Tungsten Sphere

$249 from Amazon »

I'd call the Tungsten Sphere a desktop toy, but given its high density--at just about 2" in diameter the sphere weighs over 3 pounds--I'm not sure how much fiddling or stress-relieving palm rolls you'll be able to do...

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Rhei Liquid Display Clock

By: Rhei »

First thing's first: if you want to see what's so special about Rhei, fast forward to 1:50 in the above video to bypass the dramatic buildup and jump straight to the action flow....

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Penis Tuxedo

$29.95 from LELO »

How long has it been since someone said your penis looks "dapper?" For me, the answer is an emphatic "too long." The same goes for "snazzy," "handsome," and "just like Jon Hamm." I can only hope LELO's new TUX, a penis...

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Inkless Pen

$21.99 from Amazon »

Adios, pocket protectors! Inkless pens are the way of the future. OK, probably the way of the future is the elimination of pens altogether, in favor of app-controlled telekinetic writing implementations, but in the interim...

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Go F Yourself Condom Card

$9.99 - $12.99 from FunnyCondoms.com »

I can think of many people to whom I'd like to send a Go F Yourself card (complete with packaged condom for carrying out the act!) but one dude stands out like a glowing beacon bobbing amidst the sea of the rest. How...

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You Is Fine Bears

$17 - $49.99 from Love Is Lame »

Do you love her? Eh. Is she cute? Heh. She is way beyond cute, dude. Hot? HOT. Like... Hotter than Olivia Munn all tatted up and devouring a chili dog in a Xena costume? Uh.... Basically every time I see her all I can...

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Gallium Spoon Mold

$69.99 from Amazon »

Now that you know about the weird science of gallium, you're probably wondering what the WTF you can do with it once you've scored a nugget. My suggestion: spoon gag. Slightly more sophisticated than "Pull my finger"...

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NatureZap Weed Killer

$99 - $199 from Amazon »

The NatureZap series of weed-killing wands eliminates pests of the chlorophyll persuasion without the use of harmful chemicals, or harmful bends and twists of your lumbar spine. NatureZap combines a cocktail of Infrared...