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Solid Silver Anus

By: on July 01, 2015
$785
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Clearly, someone has figured out that the only better gift for your loved ones than an anus made of chocolate they can eat is an anus made of 55 grams of solid silver they can proudly display on their mantel, or perhaps on a delicate chain around their neck. An anus that last forever, and that everyone can see. An anus for all.

Funny I should find this Solid Silver Anus today too because my friend Victor got a tomato plant a couple months ago and texted me a photo of his first baby green globe last night. I told him it looked like a butthole. But after getting an up-close view of an actual sparkling sphincter, I realize I was wrong. Buttholes are way better looking than fetal tomatoes. Wow. What a beaut.

At this point, you've probably just put your credit card away after noticing the anus' hefty price tag. Why are we getting charged out the ass for these things? Well you see, adding to the Solid Silver Anus' allure is its rarity; only 100 anuses on earth have been cast in silver and sent to market. Each is engraved with its edition number and shipped in an elegant presentation box.

So if you can afford it, dudes, I think you've just found the perfect gift for the lady who believes you're an asshole. And ladies, here's one for the dude who keeps asking you for anal.

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