Last call for the costume haul! Less than 7 days to pull together your bid for Halloween's scariest / funniest / cleverest / elaboratest. And sexyscariest / sexyfunniest / sexy.... What better to help you round it up than an ostrich? The world's largest, fastest land bird?
Ride this big boy right into a simple, comfortable, and toasty-warm onesie solution to your lack of pre-planning for Saturday's Halloween bash, and Monday night's trick-or-treating marathon with the kids. Sure, he looks a little doped up in the face with his half-closed eyes and dangling tongue. But he probably just took an extra Xanax or two to help him wade through all the zombies, Trumps, and Hillarys without freaking out a kicking one of them in the face.
Seriously. Ostriches' primary forms of defense are playing dead and running away, but if threatened into a corner they will totally roundhouse kick you in the jaw or send an up thrust between your legs.