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Ostrich Rider Costume

By: on October 25, 2016
$112.38
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Last call for the costume haul! Less than 7 days to pull together your bid for Halloween's scariest / funniest / cleverest / elaboratest. And sexyscariest / sexyfunniest / sexy.... What better to help you round it up than an ostrich? The world's largest, fastest land bird?

Ride this big boy right into a simple, comfortable, and toasty-warm onesie solution to your lack of pre-planning for Saturday's Halloween bash, and Monday night's trick-or-treating marathon with the kids. Sure, he looks a little doped up in the face with his half-closed eyes and dangling tongue. But he probably just took an extra Xanax or two to help him wade through all the zombies, Trumps, and Hillarys without freaking out a kicking one of them in the face.

Seriously. Ostriches' primary forms of defense are playing dead and running away, but if threatened into a corner they will totally roundhouse kick you in the jaw or send an up thrust between your legs.

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Other People's Face Masks

$9.99 - $11.94 from Amazon »

Get all 4 of Faux Real's Face (of Someone Else) Masks to swap out throughout the night at this year's Halloween party and kill it as Arya Stark or Jaqen H'gar, or maybe just a generic Faceless Man....

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Day Of The Dead Lace Skull Lamp

$87.99 from Amazon »

The lacy-looking Day Of The Dead Skull Lamp follows in the footsteps of Porcelain Skulls and lace skull & crossbones pants. Sure, the table light isn't as intriguing as the former, or as sexy (so sexy!) as the latter...

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Waterphone - Horror Sound Effects Instrument

$299 from Amazon »

The waterphone. Those who hate scary movies might call it torture for the ears. Those who love them? Will call it their new favorite instrument....

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Nightmare Before Christmas Cuckoo Clock

$219.95 from Amazon »

When the clock strikes the hour in the world of The Nightmare Before Christmas it's not a little bird that pops out to tweet Cuckoo! but a little Zero ghost-dog that pops out to the tune of "This Is Halloween." Like the...

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Sexy TRON Outfit

Discontinued

Wise shoppers know that when buying a gift, you should choose something for the recipient that you would never choose to buy for yourself. In that vein, this smokin' hot, 12-gauge clear plastic TRON corset lined with...

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Ascending Evil Climbing Skeleton Wall Sculpture

$183.95 from Amazon »

The Ascending Evil Climbing Skeleton Wall Sculpture is just in case you were curious what it would look like to throw a skeleton up against the wall in a hot blaze of passion and take it from behind. The arched back...

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Fear Mongering: The 10 Scariest Halloween Masks

The fear factor of these scary Halloween masks lies somewhere between disturbing and spine-chilling. Between nightmares for the night and nightmares for the month. Between Ugh, what is that? and CAN. NOT. UN. SEE. I'm...

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Armored Leather Wonder Woman Costume

$875 from UD Replicas »

Why simply dress up as Wonder Woman when you can transform into Wonder Woman corseted and zipped into custom sewn leather form-molded over motorcycle grade body armor? This UD Replicas creation isn't just a costume, it's...

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Arkham Harley Quinn Costume

Discontinued

Cartoons and reality have met, merged, and are now calling out to your carn(iv)al sensibilities. Sinister, hard-edged, Brooklyn-tongued Harley Quinn makes the likes of animated wet dreams Jessica Rabbit and Holli Wood...

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The Night King Mask

$669.95 from Composite Effects »

Composite Effects' Night King mask is the most recent addition to their Game of Thrones White Walker collection. Previously we saw one of the Night King's long-haired, extra-wrinkly cohorts. Both are designed to produce...

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Muscle Suits

$735 - $3,499 from Flex Design Costumes »

The body builders at Flex Design Costumes might be the only body builders on earth who can guarantee they'll jack up, carve out, and rip your muscles to shreds with absolutely no effort on your part beyond telling them...

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LED Stickman Costumes

$69.99 - $98 from Glowy Zoey »

Why wear a reflective vest when you can turn yourself into a giant glowing human stickman before heading out at night? Sure, they call this YouTube phenomenon made popular by Little "Glowy" Zoey a costume, but I don't...