160

LED Pasties

By: on July 03, 2014
  • LED Pasties
  • LED Pasties
  • LED Pasties
  • LED Pasties
  • LED Pasties
$29.99
Check It Out

LED pasties glow so bright you can even see them through a T-shirt! So ladies can don a pair without exposing the Breasterson twins! And...wait, that's a selling point? Wamp, wamp. These pasties suck. Unless you wear them the right way, au naturel, the way God intended pasties to be worn, like the girls in my slightly NSFW gallery of additional photos above. Now those are some flashing, dancing, mesmerizing pasties I can get behind in front of.

Though inspired by music festivals and raves, Sasswear's Light Up Pasties shouldn't be pigeon holed to these non-everyday events. After all, strobing pink stars can accent a tight white V-neck on the bus just as effectively as they can a Kaskade show. The entire line of Light Up Pasties uses hypo-allergenic, reusable adhesive so no extra tape or glue is necessary to apply them, and removal is probably around 25 times easier than the One-Handed Bra Unclasp.

Light Up Pasties come in half a dozen different shapes and as many colors. The included batteries last over 20 hours and are replaceable when tapped. Sasswear also notes that their LEDs light up the pasties' entire surface area, and their rainbow flash of colors can be seen several blocks away. Like a Siren's song for the eyes. Pasties measure 2-1/2" in diameter.

Check it out

Titty Twirlers Pasties

$20 from Etsy »

Here comes the airplane! Titty Twirlers are propellor pasties that put a twist on the traditional showstopping effect we typically expect the wind to have on a lady's (or dude's, per the video) wardrobe. I mean, Marilyn...

Check it out

Little Mermaid Ariel Costume

Sold Out from Etsy »

I've never been into the whole mermaid thing... until now. The shells were hand carved, then molded, and each shell is hand cast in a plastic resin. The shells come painted in whatever colors you would like and will fit...

Check it out

Ninja Turtles Bra

Sold Out from Etsy »

Some would say the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles are making a comeback. LL Cool J would probably say don't call it a comeback, they've been here for years. Teri Hatcher and John Travolta would warn Leonardo, Michelanglo...

Buy Now

Sound-Activated EL Wire Bra

$59.97 - $109.97 from Amazon »

Leave no sense unturned with these sound-activated neon EL bras. Except maybe taste. And smell. Revision: leave none of the important senses unturned with these sound-activated neon EL bras. Their battery-operated wire...

Buy Now

Glow-in-the-Dark Batman Underwear Set

$25.95 - $35 from Amazon »

Being a fan of the Dark Knight isn't necessary for giving two enthusiastic thumbs up and a shit-eating grin to this Batsuit. Ladies wearing a glow-in-the-dark Batman camisole and lace-up underwear set might even turn...

Check it out

Star Wars R2-D2 Bra

Discontinued

Noooooo! As if there weren't enough things in this world to make me horny! Now R2-D2 is getting in on the tent pitching action? Etsy vendor Sceene Shoes, also of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles bra fame, shares some Star...

Check it out

Marvel Comics Bra

Sold Out from Etsy »

Pow! Kaboom! SHAZAAAM! It's Marvel superheroes defending boobs from evil sag and boring flesh-colored polyester. If you liked the Glow-in-the-Dark Batman Underwear Set, take a quick eyeball stroll through Megan Elizabeth's...

Buy Now

JoeyBra Pocketed Bra

Sold Out from Amazon »

If you or a lady you know is not fortunate enough to have cleavage sized for stashing cash, phones, and plastic, I recommend a boob job. Or, I suppose, a JoeyBra. JoeyBras are designed to provide hands-free storage of...

Check it out

Les Frites Bustier

Discontinued

This seems like a bad idea. When I see a plate of fries that isn't mine, I instantly begin salivating, fighting the urge to grab a handful and shove them in my mouth. I can't image seeing a rack of fries that isn't mine...