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World's Tackiest Sweaters

By: on November 28, 2012

Flagrant foul. No words can describe these hideously tacky sweaters. Well, that's not quite true. These words can describe them: Skittles; cheeseburger; condoms; french fries; gummy worms; popcorn; palm trees; wafts of smoke; nebula.... Mr. GuGu & Ms. Go set the new standard for wearable eyesores, beating out even historical champs parachute pants, leisure suits, and scrunchies. Available in a whopping 34 designs and colors insulting to nature, the World's Tackiest Sweaters were all made in Bielsko-Biala, Poland--where apparently the citizens have poor vision or an impeccable sense of humor--and are available in sizes S through XL.

Muchas danke to Incredible Things.

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Street Fighter Ugly Christmas Sweater

The embodiment of ugly Christmas sweater awesome right down to the KO, KO, KOs running along its upper border. It's Ken v. Ryu...and a snowflake...in this Street Fighter spin on the most heinous of yarn creations (100%...

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Hairy Chest Sweater

$61.34 from Firebox.com »

What sucks is that you're either blessed with a dense thatch of chest hair or you're not. There's no cultivating it, no sprinkling of fertilizer that will encourage it to grow. The only legitimate option for those bereft...

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Animated Ugly Christmas Sweaters

$54.95 - $64.95 from Amazon »

I see your ugly Shhh!-ing Santa Christmas sweater, and raise you an ugly Shhh!-ing Santa Christmas sweater with animated eyes bouncing lecherously to and fro as if he were watching a naked lady elf tossing relay and entreating...

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Glow-in-the-Dark Galaxy Underwear

$15 from Etsy »

If you liked Black Milk Clothing's Galaxy Purple Leggings, take a gander at Portland, Oregon-based Make It Good's Glow-in-the-Dark Galaxy Underwear. Available in both women's bikini cuts and men's boxer briefs the black...

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Ramen Hoodie

$18.99 - $22.99 from Amazon »

Eat it or wear it, that's what my grandma used to say. It was meant to be a threat, but now that I see this delightfully loud and obnoxious Ramen Hoodie, I think I would like to retroactively choose the latter. I'll wear...

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Baker Miller Naptime Hoodie

$318 from Vollebak »

Built-in nap protocol: score. Hydrophobic and water-repellent: score. Windproof: score. Cozy and insulated: score. The Baker Miller Hoodie scores a lot of points for being slick and functional. But how many does it lose...

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Bill & Ted Ugly Christmas Sweater

$84.99 from Middle of Beyond »

It's the holidays. Be excellent to each other, dudes. I'm using the Bill & Ted Ugly Christmas Sweater to serve as my own helpful reminder...and also to slay all contests when I party on at the 3 Ugly Christmas Sweater...

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Intelliskin PostureCue Clothing

$80 - $130 from Amazon »

If your spine is headed toward Quasimodo-dom, but you don't want to shell out international shipping--or up to twice the base price in cash--for an Up Shirt, Intelliskin's line of shirts, tanks, tees, and sports bras...

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Drinkmaster Hoodie

$59.99 from Zane Lamprey »

Unlike braces and Yoda, the Drinkmaster Hoodie checks in as both useful and good-looking. A sleek black fleece zip-up with a bevy of booze-specific pockets and effects, the Drinkmaster is the hardcore partier's ultimate...

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Star Wars Ugly Christmas Sweaters

$29.99 - $64.95 from Amazon »

If Star Wars is on the Ugly Christmas Sweater scene now, I think we need to remove the "Ugly" modifier from the term. How about Star Wars Galactically Awesome Christmas Sweaters instead? Particularly the one spotlighting...

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Harley Quinn Hoodie

Discontinued

Gee boss, you really know how to put the fun in funeral. DC Universe supervillain Harley Quinn serves as the inspiration for another Geeky U reimagination of the hoodie. (Previous take: Link from The Legend of Zelda.)...

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Frosty the Nose Thief Sweater

$64.95 from Amazon »

Oh I see what Frosty did there. He stole that other snowman's nose. And put it on his crotch. So now he has a carrot schnoz and a carrot ding dong. I bet the other snowman is actually a snowlady. Yeah, now it all makes...