29

Watermelon Swimsuit

By: on May 23, 2015
$43
Check It Out

Oh goodness! I seem to have walked right into a watermelon! It feels so wet and squishy and...gooooood. The fruit of the summer becomes the suit of the summer with Batoko's jaunty watermelon one-piece. No word on whether it's scented--or flavored--but it sure does look sweet. And juicy. And like I would like a bite. But as my sage girlfriend, She-Ra: Princess of Power, says when I force myself to compliment her friends' clothes in return for brownie points: Is it the clothes or the girl in the clothes?

Sweet. Juicy. Would like a bite. Yes, She-Ra, you're right. It's probably the girl in the clothes.

The Watermelon Swimsuit is made of spandex and can double as a bodysuit for donning on dry land. Or you can just wear this equally sexy watermelon. Or bag the outfits entirely and just get it on in one.

Check it out

aRks 3D Printed Bikinis

aRks 3D has prototyped a series of 3D printed bikinis they call Coral. And I know what all the dudes out there are thinking: that's some Coral I'd sure like to come across in the ocean. In stark contrast what's running...

Check it out

The Batman Collection

$30 - $100 from Black Milk Clothing »

Black Milk Clothing's Batman Collection has a Batsuit for every type of crime a girl could want to fight. For example, not looking hot. Or not showing enough leg. Not showing enough cleavage. Not wearing a belted Bat-Signal...

Buy Now

Sexy Chest Swimsuit

$59.95 from Amazon »

A sexy man chest to caress and a sexy swimsuit to wear to your next pool outing - talk about having your cake and eating it too, ladies. Good for more than just a few laughs or you next gag gift, the Sexy Chest Swimsuit...

Check it out

Sharkini Swimsuit

$120 from Bad Aby Designs »

Sharks are scary. Girls are scary. Gaaahhh! It's the worst hybrid ever! To all Dude Facebook readers who expressed sentiments of peeved off at our posting of a Sharkini photo without information about where to throw wads...

Check it out

Mass Effect Clothing

$78 - $92 from Black Milk Clothing »

I know many of you are thinking it, so I'm just gonna put it on paper: the mass effect of Black Milk's Mass Effect body-hugging clothing collection is to effectively give every male fan of the video game series a massive...

Check it out

Finfolk Custom Mermaid Tails

By what magnitude would the awesomeness of mud wrestling increase if all the ladies participating got to wear a Finfolk Productions 100% dragonskin and platinum cure silicone mermaid tail? Muddy, slippery, rolling on...

Buy Now

Watermelon Ball Swimming Pool Game

$24.99 from Amazon »

What we have here is a Watermelon Ball, star of the beloved pool game Watermelon Ball. Made with a durable vinyl membrane, it fills with water such that it looks, feels, and floats like a watermelon, thereby enabling...

Check it out

Ugly Christmas Swimsuit

I have one thing to say to all of you who live in Southern California and Miami and Australia. You who will be sweating balls this Christmas instead of freezing your ass off making them out of snow: jerks. The only things...

Check it out

Tetris Swimsuit

Discontinued

What's better than a girl wearing skin-sucking Lycra pants with legs smattered in Tetris blocks? A girl wearing no pants. With an ass smattered in Tetris blocks. Just in time for the heat, the beach, and the pubescent...

Check it out

Chainmail Bikini Top

$195 from Etsy »

Cosplay, Comic-Con, even the swimming pool. Yes, this handwoven chainmail bikini top is waterproof and primed for a summer of splashing, floating, and breaststroking medieval style. All that's missing is the sea serpent...

Buy Now

Watermelon Slicer

$29.99 from Amazon »

My girlfriend brought home a bottle of watermelon juice (this stuff) the other day and first I was like, "Why would you want to eliminate the best part of consuming watermelon, which is munching on its spongy-crunchy...

Buy Now

Wonder Woman Bikini

$39.47 from Amazon »

Hello, warrior princess of the Amazons. And that's putting it mildly. Were Wonder Woman to constrict me in the grips of her Lasso of Truth I might have some lengthier, more, uh...carnally colorful...things to say about...