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Star Wars Adult Onesies

By: on August 13, 2013
$64.45
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Star Wars onesies for adults are what's called being comfortably chic on Halloween, and F'ing awesome the other 364 days of the year. Boba Fett, R2-D2, a stormtrooper, and the grandaddy of being the worst daddy of all time, Darth Vader, join forces to liven up bedtime for the 18 and over crowd. That is, if you're part of the 18 and over crowd with no alternative means (i.e., a willing member of the opposite sex) of livening up bedtime.

Onesies blend polyester and cotton fleece into oversized Empire and Rebel Army pajamas for snuggly comfort on the couch that segues into full range of motion during surprise lightsaber attacks. For my benefit, I hope R2-D2 is also Dri-Fit with sweat wicking properties.

All Star Wars PJs in the onesie line have cuffed arms, a lined hood, front pockets, and an extra-long zipper. Printed details are in high quality plastic, allowing the suits to be washed in a machine instead of by my mama's hands.

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Shed Defender Dog Onesie

$39.99 - $61.99 from Amazon »

Will zipping your dog into a Shed Defender make him look like a canine fool? Sure. But no more so than putting him in pet samurai armor or an AT-AT costume for your personal viewing pleasure. And while the latter have...

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Stormtrooper Whiskey Decanter & Shot Glass

$14.61 - $26.79 from The Fowndry »

A stormtrooper who's packing nothing but Jameson and a Buttery Nipple is my kind of stormtrooper. I bet in whiskey decanter and suspended glass forms they're even a decent shot. At least until round 7 or 8 when your own...

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The Darth Knight

$1,500 from Ebay »

You love Batman, but you're a loyal Star Wars fanboy. Halloween is coming up and you have a difficult decision to make. Can you betray Darth Vader for your new crush on the Dark Knight? Good news. You won't have to. Mash...

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Star Wars Fitness Equipment

$64.95 - $199.95 from Onnit »

If you weren't sweating the Dark Side before, one round with Onnit's Star Wars fitness equipment, and I guarantee you'll start. From kettlebell swings to hot yoga, Russian twists to Turkish getups, Onnit is injecting...

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Star Wars Pipes

$55 - $69 from Etsy »

One good way to bring the Dark Side and the Light Side together is to get them all stoned. What, we're fighting? I'm trying to eradicate you from the galaxy? OK, well...why don't we order some deep dish pizzas...and a...

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The Force Awakens First Order Stormtrooper Helmet

$200 from Anovos »

The good news is this is the first ever Standard Line version of a Star Wars: The Force Awakens First Order Stormtrooper Helmet, and you can have one for $200 ($249.95 if you wait until October 1 to order). That bad news...

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LEGO Star Wars Millennium Falcon 2017

$799.99 from LEGO »

Start saving your credits and wupiupi. LEGO is dropping a new Millennium Falcon model - a 7,500-piece behemoth of a brick freighter - on October 1, 2017. Need a gift for a man? Particularly a man you'd like to make very...

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Rebel Bass Guitar

$945 - $1,325 from Doni Guitars »

No longer must you search the galaxy to find this Rebel Bass, but you will have to wait at least 3 months to get it. Last Fall, after photos of his custom Star Wars guitars had gone viral online, Englishman Doni opened...

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Star Wars Chewbacca Beanbag

$169 - $279 from Pottery Barn »

The only thing wrong with this Chewbacca Beanbag, a Wookiee lounger my ass would otherwise love to plop down on, is that it's from Pottery Barn. Just like this Star Wars Bed. So basically the only people who can have...

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Boba Fett Motorcycle Helmet

Unlike a few selections in this slideshow of sick motorcycle helmets, you can probably wear HJC's new RPHA 11 Boba Fett helmet without getting laughed off the road (it's an obvious, but not over-the-top Star Wars circus...

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Millennium Falcon Asteroid Coffee Table

$6,499 from Regal Robot »

The only thing this Millennium Falcon Asteroid Coffee Table is missing is my feet. As Han Solo and Chewie expertly maneuver their ship through an asteroid field to evade Vader and his fleet, I relax with a Bud Light Lime...

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Star Wars Super Graphic: A Visual Guide

$13.56 from Amazon »

Yoda in a Venn diagram. Nicely done, Star Wars Super Graphic. I'll bet the left slice is those who "Do" and the right those who "Do Not," with the Yoda center representing the young Jedis who tell their master, "Alright...