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Sexy TRON Outfit

By: on August 28, 2011
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Wise shoppers know that when buying a gift, you should choose something for the recipient that you would never choose to buy for yourself. In that vein, this smokin' hot, 12-gauge clear plastic TRON corset lined with glowing fluorescent piping is the perfect present for every male between the ages of 18 and 48 to bestow upon his wife, girlfriend, mistress, or favorite waitress at the Applebee's.

To achieve the neon blue glow, "charge" the corset in sunlight or under bright indoor lighting for 10 to 60 minutes--the longer the charge, the more brilliant and enduring the luminescence, and the more willing onlookers will be to buy the wearer drinks and designer handbags. Also, the piping takes on a less mesmerizing flesh color in full light, so for maximal glow visibility and resultant subservience, the costume is best worn in lounges, clubs, bedrooms, and those black-lit bowling alleys. In addition to its instant-erection aesthetic properties, the TRON corset is also functional, constructed with steel boning that: cinches the wearer's waistline; corrals and boosts her boobline; and flares at the hips to create the perfect hourglass shape.

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The TRON Light Cycle

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Yeah, it costs more than twice the country's 2011 median income, but two little words make it worth every penny: Street. Legal. If you can convince the bank, or your mom, to spot you the cash, a living, breathing replica...

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Fear Mongering: The 10 Scariest Halloween Masks

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Samurai Pet Armor for Cats & Dogs

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Arkham Harley Quinn Costume

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Cartoons and reality have met, merged, and are now calling out to your carn(iv)al sensibilities. Sinister, hard-edged, Brooklyn-tongued Harley Quinn makes the likes of animated wet dreams Jessica Rabbit and Holli Wood...

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Muscle Suits

$735 - $3,499 from Flex Design Costumes »

The body builders at Flex Design Costumes might be the only body builders on earth who can guarantee they'll jack up, carve out, and rip your muscles to shreds with absolutely no effort on your part beyond telling them...

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Python Skin Death Trooper Helmet

$3k from ELEMNT »

I think this python skin Death Trooper Helmet solidifies maker ELEMNT's position on Team Dark Side. Their first snaked-out Star Wars replica payed homage to Darth Vader, and was shaped around one of the 1,200 collector's...

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TRON: Legacy Siren Gem Bodysuit

$2k from Dame Fatale »

Sadly, this bodysuit covers more skin than the TRON corset, but since it's made out of stretch fabric instead of 12-gauge plastic, it does allow for increased mobility during re-enactments of the movie's action sequences...

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Brocade Dinner & Smoking Jacket

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Come on, Cousin Larry, don't be re-dikoolous, this is a niiiice jacket. I would wear it to my wedding. And I'd definitely wear it to your wedding. Machete 'N' Sons' Brocade Dinner & Smoking Jackets are part of their Decadence...

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Rogue From X-Men Costume

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It's The Brotherhood of Evil Mutants' most famous defector in living, non-Anna-Paquin form! This milliskin Rogue jumpsuit is made to order in your choice of kotobukiya with green details, classic with black details, and...

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The Darth Knight

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You love Batman, but you're a loyal Star Wars fanboy. Halloween is coming up and you have a difficult decision to make. Can you betray Darth Vader for your new crush on the Dark Knight? Good news. You won't have to. Mash...

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Cereal Motel Adult Cereals

$12.50 from Cereal Motel »

Cereal Motel has a slightly different take on "adult" cereal than Fiber One and unfrosted Mini Wheats do. It's a take I like a whole, whole lot more than whole grains and improved bowel movements. Cereal Motel makes "deliciously...

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Cyber Armor

$175 - $695 from Etsy »

Buckle up, boys, it's October 1. The onslaught of sexy Halloween costumes is revving its 400-asspower engine. Segue into the spectacle with a looksee at Spanish designer Boyd Baten's cyber armor. No, wait, I mean Boyd...