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Mass Effect Clothing

By: on August 18, 2013
$78 - $92
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I know many of you are thinking it, so I'm just gonna put it on paper: the mass effect of Black Milk's Mass Effect body-hugging clothing collection is to effectively give every male fan of the video game series a massive boner. Black Milk, we Commander Shepards salute you. Up high and down low.

Dudes perusing our Girlfriend Gift Guide will note that many items suggested for your better half also double as gifts for your best half: yourself. The Mass Effect line, which includes leggings, a tank dress, and a swimsuit, will certainly serve the purpose of making even the most homely/whiny/naggy/empty-headed women more pleasant to look at and interact with, and if your girlfriend is actually hot and tolerable already, a pair of N7 leggings becoming one with her ass could elevate her to prototype status for Super Sentient Female 1.0.

Mass Effect leggings are available for standard online purchase through Black Milk clothing, and the tank dress and swimsuit will be made to order.

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aRks 3D Printed Bikinis

aRks 3D has prototyped a series of 3D printed bikinis they call Coral. And I know what all the dudes out there are thinking: that's some Coral I'd sure like to come across in the ocean. In stark contrast what's running...

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Anatomical Leggings

Been scouring the racks for pants that display your ass as the true anatomical masterpiece it is? Black Milk Clothing's skin-tight anatomical leggings won't just enhance the curves of your posterior, they'll show off...

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Sexy Chest Swimsuit

$59.95 from Amazon »

A sexy man chest to caress and a sexy swimsuit to wear to your next pool outing - talk about having your cake and eating it too, ladies. Good for more than just a few laughs or you next gag gift, the Sexy Chest Swimsuit...

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Flayed Flesh Garters

Sold Out from Etsy »

Take peek-a-boo garters to the next level: peek-a-boo blood vessels and layers of muscle tissue, courtesy of open-wound prostheses and stocking accoutrements from Etsy's Meaghan O'Keefe. A pair of unpainted latex prostheses...

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The Batman Collection

$30 - $100 from Black Milk Clothing »

Black Milk Clothing's Batman Collection has a Batsuit for every type of crime a girl could want to fight. For example, not looking hot. Or not showing enough leg. Not showing enough cleavage. Not wearing a belted Bat-Signal...

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Sharkini Swimsuit

$120 from Bad Aby Designs »

Sharks are scary. Girls are scary. Gaaahhh! It's the worst hybrid ever! To all Dude Facebook readers who expressed sentiments of peeved off at our posting of a Sharkini photo without information about where to throw wads...

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Middle Earth Map Leggings

$11.99 from Amazon »

Control Middle-earth--and likely all male Elves, Wizards, Orcs, Dragons, Dwarves, Ents, and Hobbits--for under $100. You don't even have to enter into battle or acquire Rings of Power. Leave it to Black Milk Clothing...

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Skirt Length Sluttiness Stockings

Discontinued

While these may not be the definitive measurement for exactly how a lady is feeling, they're certainly guaranteed to provoke some interesting conversation. From "demure" to "dangerous" the Leg's Talk stockings provide...

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The Game of Thrones Collection

$40 - $110 from Black Milk Clothing »

The start of Season 4 may still be a few weeks away, but Black Milk's Game of Thrones clothing collection drops in mere hours. Houses Stark, Lannister, Targaryen, and Baratheon represent in an array of nakedness shields...

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DU/ER Performance Denim & No Sweat Pants

$120 - $129 from dish & DU/ER »

dish & DU/ER sent me a review pair of their N2X No Sweat Pants, and here's how I tested them out: I wore them to Thanksgiving dinner. Three plates and two pieces of apple pie...a la mode...later, I still didn't feel the...

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Tron Cycling Skinsuit

Sold Out from Amazon »

One thing I learned recently is that cyclists call their little outfits "kits". Isn't that precious? So here is a Tron kit for all of the bicycling Tron fans out there, as well as the far larger number of normal, non-bicycling...

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Finfolk Custom Mermaid Tails

By what magnitude would the awesomeness of mud wrestling increase if all the ladies participating got to wear a Finfolk Productions 100% dragonskin and platinum cure silicone mermaid tail? Muddy, slippery, rolling on...