Lace Up Jeans
As much as I want to sit back and enjoy these hot ass Wild Thang Lace Up Jeans from Fashion Nova, I cannot keep my mind from bending at funny angles every time I look at them*. Is this an optical illusion? What happened here? Did someone invert the specified proportion of shoelace-to-denim? Did they try to make a pair of jeans that fits like a pair of sneakers? Can you imagine the lace marks those are going to leave in her skin?
OK, enough with the questions! Here's what I do know: Fashion Nova's Wild Thang Lace Up Pants are lace-up and peek-a-boo in the front and on the sides only, so don't worry (or get any ideas) about exposing your cheeks and crack in these jeans. The back has full coverage. The back is also where you'll find the zipper. On the days you don't feel loosening, retightening, and tying the jeans' 3 yards of laces.
And for the bikers and BDSMers out there, you can also get your lower halves on the lace-up pants in faux black leather.
*But once I calm my mind down, I do look forward to imagining my She-Ra: Princess of Power wearing the lace-up jeans and bending at funny angles herself.