Lace Skull & Crossbones Pants
Plea to All Women: I implore you to buy these pants. And wear them in my presence. White, lace, skulls. They're the trifecta of my fantasies. Throw in flowing, partially see-through, and looking to be very soft, and I might go into catatonic shock at first sight. In which case everyone would win. My last vision on this earth would be a pair of hot crocheted skull & crossbones pants, and you would get to wear them without actually interacting with me.
Or better, they should name Talking Heads pants the new uniform for all Victoria's Secret employees. Even though they're made by someone called Letarte, not Victoria. Man, if all of those ladies swooped in and out of their bra racks wearing swishy pairs of skulls & crossbones, I would frequent that store and buy lingerie for the girlfriend I don't have at least 5 times a week. Hell, if Walgreens employees had to wear them, I would even go in there 5 times a week to buy feminine products for the girlfriend I don't have. Oh wait...I guess if it's Walgreens I could just buy, like, batteries and gum and stuff.