282

Diamond Armor - $3.2 Million Bulletproof Suit

By: on March 12, 2014
$3.2 million
Check It Out

At $3.2 million, Swiss fashion house SuitArt's Diamond Armor has nabbed the title of Most Expensive Suit in the World. The current title. I will obliterate it next month when I debut my Diamond & Adamantium Armor for $3.21 million. Note: I plan to sell the Adrenasuit to those who demonstrate true superhero potential at a bargain rate of $2.8 million.

Each custom-tailored set of Diamond Armor will take its first name from the 880 black diamonds decorating its buttons and lapel, and its last from the following characteristics and flourishes:

  • Bulletproof to Level II Protection by NATO Standards. We've seen bulletproof clothing before, and Diamond Armor carries on the tradition in collaboration with Croshield, a developer of body armor and ballistic protective equipment. (See video for their demo). Diamond-encrusted and bulletproof? Already this suit has insanely rich men who constantly piss people off written all over it. Namely politicians and Kanye West.
  • Waterproof. Schoeller Technologies draws from the natural ability of certain plant leaves to deter dirt and water from clinging to their fine textured surfaces. The company emulates this process with their nanotech textiles, which will comprise Diamond Armor's top layer. Outer fabric will be waterproof and dirt-resistant.
  • Active Cooling System. Bulletproof, waterproof, dripping with diamonds. Sounds hot. Like, the thermal kind. It would be too if Diamond Armor didn't incorporate EMPA's Air Conditioned Suit System. (EMPA is the Swiss Federal Laboratories for Materials Science and Technology.) Activated at the push of a button, the integrated technology will humidify water/water vapor (i.e., brewing sweat) to cool its wearer down. Men, get ready to look comfortably fancy at high noon in August!
  • Art. Diamond Armor is lined with silk, and the silk printed with artwork and signed by Luciano Goizueta, a famous and revered artist I have never heard of. I'm sure he's great though. Art just isn't my thing because I prefer hobbies and interests that aren't mind-numbingly boring.
  • Tie. No suit is complete without one. The Diamond Armor suit isn't complete without one made from 24K gold. Golden fabric, golden thread, and black silk backing. SuitArt alleges the tie marks the first pure gold fabric in the world.
  • Watch. Carl F. Bucherer of Lucerne has made a limited edition of only 125 Patravi Traveltec timepieces. Diamond Armor has one of them. (I wonder what happens if they sell 2 suits. Maybe a discount of the second down to $3 million?) Watches are a combination of gold, ceramic, titanium, and rubber.

Muchas danke to Luxury Launches.

Check it out

Full Metal Jacket Jeep

$106,888 from Starwood Motors »

100 hours to build this beast. Totally worth it. Their words, not mine. Not that I'm calling BS or anything. It's just that I'll never know if Starwood Motors' Full Metal Jacket Jeep is totally worth it or not because...

Check it out

AdrenaSuit - Bulletproof & Superpowered

The fit is hitting the shan. The adrenaline dam has busted, and your fight-or-flight response is sprinting at a world-record-setting pace. What does it look like? Are you stepping up? Freezing up? Freaking out? Peacing...

Check it out

DC & Marvel Comics Suits

$169.99 - $349.99 from Fun.com Suits »

Holy Marvel of Washington DC, Batman! They made a suit out of you! As teased in a preview a couple weeks ago, Fun.com is releasing a line of men's (funny / monkey?) business suits in tribute to your favorite superheroes...

Buy Now

Black Rhodium Jet Turbine Engine Cufflinks

$220 from Amazon »

These Jet Turbine Engine Cufflinks, made of polished black rhodium, and ready to spin real fast when you blow on them, are the perfect last-minute gift for Dads! Well, as long as you're a son with a healthy income. Or...

Check it out

Bulletproof Polo Shirt

If the acute fear of being assassinated on the golf course has kept you from swinging your 9-iron too many times to count, welcome to the start of the rest of your life. Breezy, bulletproof, and cleared for the country...

Check it out

Penis Tuxedo

$29.95 from LELO »

How long has it been since someone said your penis looks "dapper?" For me, the answer is an emphatic "too long." The same goes for "snazzy," "handsome," and "just like Jon Hamm." I can only hope LELO's new TUX, a penis...

Check it out

Suitsy Business Suit Onesie

$264.60 from Beta Brand »

Dress Pants Sweatpants are OK for the average day at the office, but what if you have an important meeting with the Japanese investors? Or a big interview? Or your great aunt's funeral? When formality is required, but...

Check it out

Bullet Boutonniere

$15.95 from Bullet Bouquets »

Look even more bangin' in your tux or suit coat with one of Bullet Bouquets' Bullet Boutonnieres. Remember Bullet Bouquets? The overnight bloomin' ammo sensation has expanded its line of potted rounds to include wearables...

Check it out

Nanotech Storm Suit

$499 - $629 from Indochino »

Style. Connectivity. Protection from hypothermia. When 21st century power players dress to impress, kill, or otherwise command the respect of their minions, they wear Indochino's Nanotech Storm Suit. Disclaimer: If you...

Buy Now

The Traxedo - Tuxedo Track Suits

$23.58 - $89.99 from Amazon »

Ahhh, Traxedo. The perfect response to the next time my girlfriend tells me to put on some nice clothes and take her to the (obscenely overpriced) wine & tapas bar. Ahhh, Traxedo. The polyester penguin suit that will...

Check it out

ARAIG - Multi-Sensory VR Feedback Suit

Discontinued

Even in the virtual world, when it rains it pours. Not only is the ARAIG (As Real As It Gets) multi-sensory feedback suit the latest in a recent lineup of virtual gaming enhancement gear, but it has also joined VR immersive...

Buy Now

Well Endowed Zentai Suit

$44.99 from Amazon »

I see your Little Green Man, and raise it one Huge Green Man. If you prefer Orange, Red, Yellow, Blue,, Purple, or Never-Go-Back Black, I have Zentai suits in all of those extra-tight, extra-long-schlong colors too. So...