Bulletproof Polo Shirt
- Rejection-Proof Vest - $12.60
- Halo 3 Full Body Armor - $679.99
- Bullet Resistant Jean Jacket - $699.00
- Steel 6-Pack Breastplate - $89.95
- 300 Spartan Shield - $34.98
If the acute fear of being assassinated on the golf course has kept you from swinging your 9-iron too many times to count, welcome to the start of the rest of your life. Breezy, bulletproof, and cleared for the country club, this polo shirt has a 100% cotton exterior, all-weather microfiber interior, and removable anti-ballistic panels in between. It comes in a variety of pretty colors, and three levels of protection: IIA, resistant to 9mm and Smith and Wesson FMJ ammo; II, suitable for fending off .357 Magnums, 38 Supers, and mini Uzi submachine guns; and IIIA, which is happy to give a big F-you to Uzi machine guns, MP5 and MP9 submachine guns, 44 Magnum SJHPs, and all knives. Even the ones that can cut through tin cans. Did you ever think a preppy collared shirt could make you invincible? Or that you would be able to go straight from Alistair and Bunny's garden party to your inner city coke dealer's without stopping home to change into something less pastel?
In 1992 Miguel Caballero was an aspiring designer. And like all good designers, he knew that to be successful, he needed famous people to wear his garments. But Miguel lived in Bogota, Colombia, one of the most dangerous cities in the world. How was he going to get famous people to wear his clothing when all of the famous people he knew of kept getting shot? Ever the practical and resourceful entrepreneur, Miguel did not set out to be the next Giorgio Armani. He set out to be the first Giorgio Armani. Of bulletproof fashion. Today his haute security couture is worn by the likes of President Obama, Venezuelan leader Hugo Chavez, and creeptastic Hollywood maniac Steven Seagal, the latter of whom owns the only bulletproof kimono on earth.