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Assassin's Creed Kenway Jacket

By: on September 22, 2012
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Maker Volante Design calls this Assassin's Creed fashion statement the Kenway Jacket, and includes a lot of nonsense about how it is available with two closure options to make it either symmetrical or asymmetrical, but really all I care about is whether or not wearing it will convince my mom to tell me the truth about my Grand Master Assassin ancestors, and how she and my dad actually adopted me from 18th century colonial America. Under penalty of never answering her phone calls again, I have already persuaded her to start calling me Connor.

The Kenway itself is a fairly wearable, albeit somewhat affected, jacket with bright indigo lapels, cuffs, tails, and gut coverage, and a white body and sleeves. Of course, the baddest ass interpretation of all is the pointed tipped slouchy hood with its blue dagger/devil horn/Native American scalping incision mark accents.

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Vollebak Solar Charged Jacket

$350 from Vollebak »

Vollebak's Solar Charged Jacket does for Slimer Green what the clothing startup's Baker Miller Naptime Hoodie did for Unicorn Pink: it takes a crazy cut from Roy G Biv, and gives it a highly functional application. Naptime's...

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vapRwear Smokable Hoodies

$99 from VapRwear »

Elvis "Papi" Edwards created the line of vapRwear smokable hoodies. Papi Edwards. Caribbean native. Colorado resident. Incredibly enterprising stoner. His vapRwear hoodies all have hookah-like drawstrings at their necks...

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Reversible Chewbacca Hoodie

Sold Out from Amazon »

It may not be the skin covering a Yoda head rejected from use in the original Star Wars, but at least Marc Ecko's reversible Chewbacca hoodie is a bodily covering that's a little easier to come by....

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Hero Within Coats

$99 - $249 from Hero Within »

I told my gf I would agree to wear a man pea coat under one condition: it had to have a subtle and classy Bat symbol integrated into its cut and stitching across the back and shoulders. Then I smugly thought about how...

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Assassin's Creed IV Hidden Blade Gauntlet

$33.30 from Amazon »

Assassin's Creed fan or not, everyone needs a gauntlet with a hidden retractable blade. The Edward Kenway Black Flag replica shown here includes one that's spring-loaded with switchblade-style action. The gauntlet itself...

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Brocade Dinner & Smoking Jacket

$625 from Etsy »

Come on, Cousin Larry, don't be re-dikoolous, this is a niiiice jacket. I would wear it to my wedding. And I'd definitely wear it to your wedding. Machete 'N' Sons' Brocade Dinner & Smoking Jackets are part of their Decadence...

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Medieval Knight Hoodie

Discontinued

See, chivalry isn't dead. It's just been co-opted by the hoodie-wearing hipster crowd. This Medieval Knight Hoodie drips of irony akin to permutations of the mustache, and trending fads akin to bacon two years ago. Thanks...

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Iron Man Hoodie

Discontinued

This Iron Man crime-fighting-armor-turned-loungewear combines the Avenger's Mark VII and Mark VIII suits. Its chest and shoulders draw from the former, while the elbows and abdomen take after the latter. Awww, it's like...

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Torch Wearable Coat Heater

$58.90 from Amazon »

Torch, a universal, wearable coat heater invites you to get fired up, and take this year's winter storms by storm. Use the wraparound warmer to up your puffy coat's game, or trade the marshmallow-in-a-trash-bag look for...

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Han Solo-Chewbacca Reversible Hoodie

$108.99 from Amazon »

Life has been very difficult for some since the Mark Ecko reversible Chewbacca hoodie sold out. It was pretty much the Star Wars garment to end all Star Wars garments. But I like this new alternative alright too. Maybe...

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Dragon Hoodie

$447 from Canada Cosplay »

I like it when objects can wholly encompass their descriptors both literally and figuratively. For example, previously dragons were hot due solely to their deadly breath of fire. But then Canada Cosplay decided to turn...

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Judge Dredd Lawgiver

$999.99 from Bonanza »

From the meticulous maestro who brought us the Aliens M41A Pulse Rifle comes a similarly immaculate replica from Judge Dredd. Fabricator The Kingpin touts his custom-made Lawgiver as a precise copy of the one Judge Stallone...