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3D Wolf Crotch Underwear

By: on November 02, 2016
$19.98
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One of the 3 wolves howling at the moon on my T-shirt decided to break from the pack, and lookee where he ended up. I think this positioning works out better for both of us. He gets some privacy, and I get an accurate representation of what lies beneath his cotton-spandex blend snout.

The Wolf Crotch Underwear further achieve Top Novelty Gift status with the 3D treatment. Briefs have a front pouch that will both comfortably house Snake & the Boys, and enhance the wolf illusion with a protruding snout.

At printing, there were a ton of Wolf Crotches making the rounds on Amazon, all of them pretty inexpensive, and probably not the best quality, but good for a laugh, stocking stuffer, or white elephant gift.

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Cute Ass Animals Underwear

$35 - $56 from Etsy »

Etsy vendor Nichola's Knickerockers, underwear with adorable animal faces strategically sewn across one of my favorite places on earth, are pricey. But to all ladies who often get mistaken for Victoria's Secret models...

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Eletrunks "Lifter" Underwear

$28 from Eletrunks »

Though the above video is slightly NSFW, Eletrunks are not a dirty or obscene pair of underwear. At all. The company's demo of their functional, comfort-enhancing, package-adjusting Lifter cord just makes it look like...

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Fundies: Underwear Built for Two

$7.99 from Amazon »

According to every woman's favorite book, The Five Love Languages, physical touch is the predominant type of love males enjoy receiving, while quality time earns high marks with the ladies. Fundies, a chic pair of tandem...

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Shreddies Fart-Filtering Underwear

$38 - $70 from Shreddies »

Leave it to the Brits to class up farts and poots. And also to create a solution that spares those who didn't just drop a silent stink bomb from inhaling the fumes released by the one who did. Shreddies is a line of men's...

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Werewolf Dog Muzzle

$59.35 from Amazon »

Oh boy, I don't know what I'm going to be for Halloween 2015 yet, but I sure know now how I'm going to dress up my girlfriend, She-Ra: Princess of Power's cat. Yeah, the Russians say this Werewolf Muzzle is for dogs...

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The Ball Lifter (NSFW)

$17 - $22.95 from Amazon »

I know what you're thinking: is that a push-up bra...for my balls? The answer is yes. The Ball Lifter was designed to lift and embellish your package without pumps, pills, or other male member enhancement quackery. It's...

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Latex Bat Underwear

$80 from Etsy »

Warning: Abigail Greydanus' latex bat underwear are slightly NSFW. Probably both in terms of viewing enlarged photos of them, and physically wearing them at the office, as my experience with latex is that it is the textile...

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Nerds with Vaginas Underwear

$15 from Etsy »

Did you get drunk and pee your pants last night? Did you throw your panties on stage during the New Year's Eve Super Diamond Neil Diamond cover band show? Did you sneak out of the bed you woke up in at 5:00 a.m. and leave...

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Manties Men's Lace Boxers

$31.19 from Firebox.com »

Last month this a-hole at my office left a box of Edible Anus chocolates on my desk with a note that said, "I saw these and thought of your face." Now everyone at work calls me Buttmuncher. Like we're 12! So for next...

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Spartan Radiation-Blocking Underwear

$45 from Spartan »

Spartan Underwear heard the refrain every time some newfangled food or drug or piece of tech came out too: "Twenty years from now they'll probably find out it kills you." Or, in the case of the radiation given off by...

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MyPakage Keyhole Comfort Underwear

$24.99 - $30.99 from Amazon »

While a keyhole connotes something very small into which one inserts something else very small...and then, uh, forcefully twists it 360 degrees clockwise or counterclockwise...I assure you that MyPakage underwear's KeyHole...

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Lace Skull & Crossbones Pants

$238 from Amazon »

Plea to All Women: I implore you to buy these pants. And wear them in my presence. White, lace, skulls. They're the trifecta of my fantasies. Throw in flowing, partially see-through, and looking to be very soft, and I...