I want a hippopotamus for Christmas...no, wait. I come from a generation of spoiled, entitled, self-righteous narcissists. I can do better than that. I want three hippopotamuses. And I want them to have pearly white, spiraling horns extending from their foreheads like magical unicorns. And I want them to be howling at the moon. Oh, and screw waiting until Christmas, I want them right now.
Behold: The 3 Hippopoticorn Moon T-Shirt.
Clearly, the 3 Wolf Moon T-Shirt craze was only the beginning. With unicorns making their play for world domination, hogs holding steady as beastly gods due to their contributions to the bacon harvest, and dinosaurs on the verge of a full-on, Michael Crichton-style comeback, I may start diverting my monthly 401K contributions into an animals howling at celestial bodies T-shirt startup. CLACK! Industries seems to have a corner on the Hippopoticorn market, but I also see great potential and many $$$ in the branding of Beavicorns, Allicorns, and Labradoodicorns.
The 3 Hippopoticorn Moon T-Shirt comes in sizes S to XXL.