Uberlube Luxury Lubricant
Since the self-driving car and going public things haven't worked out so well for Uber, they've decided to diversify with a foray into the personal lubricant business. Uberlube, a luxury lubricant for discerning "ridesharers," endeavors to do more for the sexually active who select it: "Instead of just being slippery, Uberlube is designed to transfer sensation while reducing friction."
OK, fine, I'm making it up. Well, not the existence of Uberlube luxury lubricant, or that quote, which the company legit uses as its pitch. But "the company" isn't the Uber on wheels we all know and love (or hate) but a completely separate business, itself called Uberlube, that focuses solely on sexy time slickness.
But to all the eager crotch knockers out there, an Uber-Uberlube partnership wouldn't be a bad idea, right? How's about an Uberlube integration into your Uber app? This would give riders the option to purchase a travel-size vat of Uberlube from participating drivers when they request an Uber, or at any point along the ride. Even better, let's expand the line to include condoms, and maybe some, like pre- and post-coitus wipes.