Body

Ginger Foot Pads for Detox & Better Sleep

$18.77 Amazon »

Ginger Foot Pads give new meaning to the expression, "Sleep it off." Or attempt to, anyway - reviews are mixed on how well these overnight detoxifiers really work...

TempTooth Temporary Tooth Replacement Kit

$32.75 Amazon »

Just one question about the TempTooth Temporary Tooth Replacement Kit: does it come in gold?...

Bath N Bailey Works Organic Sunburn Relieving Salve

$16 Etsy »

Hot time, summer in the city / If you get burnt, ain't gonna look pretty. But maybe it will hurt a smidge less after you rub on some of Bath N Bailey Works' Organic Sunburn Relieving Salve...

Woo More Play Sensual Massage Oil Candle

Sold Out Amazon »

I'm not really sure why Woo More Play's sensual massage oil candle is named "Eat Me Out for Once." As far as I can tell, the muscle-rubbin' lube the melting wax of the candle produces is scented with sandalwood, papyrus...

Face Mask Extender & Ear Saver Straps

$11.99 Amazon »

I bought a set of these Face Mask Extender & Ear Saver Straps at the end of August, and my wife, She-Ra: Princess of Power, and I have probably worn them for over 24 cumulative hours each since then. I don't use them...

Dripstick After-Sex Cleanup Sponge

$2 - $95 Awkward Essentials »

Welp, I'll give Dripstick credit for one thing: it puts on no heirs when it calls itself a "cum sponge." Yeesh. That description makes the Sperm Towel seem downright prude...

The Tinkle Belle - Device for Ladies to Stand & Pee

$27.50 Amazon »

It appears the Tinkle Belle, a urination device ladies can use to stand (and stay fully clothed!) and pee, was developed for hiking and camping, maybe porta-potty use at festivals and sporting events. But I say, if you...

Candy Nipple Tassels (NSFW)

$10.69 Amazon »

If I buy my wife some of these Candy Nipple Tassels, I wonder if she'll let me call her "Sugar tits." Hold on, let me ask. ... ... OK, so that's a confirmed no...

Finger Love Glove

$38.99 - $39.99 Amazon »

I'll take two fingers of whiskey and one finger up my ass, please. The Finger Love Glove - which I, for once, tamed down in name from Finger F*ck Glove - looks like toys fidget and sex have come together to help you and...

Pit Liquor - All-Natural Whiskey & Vodka Deodorant

$9.95 - $19.95 Pit Liquor »

I always knew whiskey and vodka made me feel good, but who knew they could make me smell good too? Pit Liquor is a line of deodorants - deodorant cocktails, if you will - that use overproof whiskey and vodka as their...

TEMPTU Airbrush Self-Tanning System

$185.84 Amazon »

TEMPTU tempts us into the mists of its airbrush self-tanning system with the promise that we'll "Look on vacation indefinitely!" Hmmm. If they could somehow change that "Look" to a "Be," I'd be all in. But I'm a little...

LED Eyelashes with Lighting Effects

I don't know who gets more blinded by the light with these LED eyelashes, the person wearing them or the person seeing them, but hopefully no one gets too robbed of their sight, because the light and lighting effects...

PATCH Zero Waste Bamboo Bandages

$5.98 - $19.49 Amazon »

Patch up your wounds without gouging, stinging, cutting, scraping, burning, or blistering the environment with PATCH bandages, first aid adhesive strips strips made from bamboo fiber that create zero waste post-use. PATCH...

ShieldPod Wearable Protective Barrier

$49.99 Amazon »

Who's in the market for an XXXXXL condom...for your entire upper body? The ShieldPod is a "wearable protective barrier" from Under the Weather, who have appeared to pivot their line of sit-down wearable rain and bug shields...

Fake Freckle Pens

$7.99 Amazon »

Oh the changing whims of beauty! Seems like just yesterday everyone was buying makeup to hide their freckles, and now we have Freckle Pens made specifically to help dot on fake ones. Ladies, I don't know how you keep...

SPOTMYUV Stickers - Detect When to Reapply Sunscreen

$14.99 - $34.99 Amazon »

As if it's not bad enough my mama still nags me to wear sunscreen, now she's gonna slap a SPOTMYUV sticker detector on me everytime I go to her house so she can nag me to reapply it. SPOTMYUV is a color-changing UV detection...

Bath Diamond Bioluminescent Bath Bombs & Salt Soaks

$48 - $72 Bath Diamond »

Bathe in diamonds and roses. No, not literally, but with Bath Diamond bioluminescent bath bombs and salt soaks, figuratively is even better. Figuratively means you still get to submerge yourself in a tub of hot water...

balldo - Ball-Dildo to Double Your Penis Count (NSFW)

"Make 2021 the year of ballsex!" Well, balldo, it's not the worst idea anyone's ever had. Plus, given all the horrible things 2020 was the year of, and the lackluster way 2021 has kicked off, a brand new ball-dildo that...

Byte At-Home Teeth Straightening System

$1,895 - $2,295 Byte »

Take a Byte out of your crooked bite, and high dentist's fees, and long sits in the dentist's chair*, with the Byte at-home teeth straightening system. From teeth impressions to invisible aligners to a funky vibrating...

Headache & Migraine Relief Cap

$29.99 Amazon »

Headache? Migraine? Just want to bury your head in the freezer or a bucket of ice? How about a striking purple hat filled with cooling, soothing, pain-easing Magic Gel instead?...

Santa Beard Face Mask

Sold Out Amazon »

Ho, ho, ho...hack, hack, hack! Spread holiday cheer without spreading COVID with this Santa Beard Face Mask. This season actually has me warming to face masks because, well, the face masks are warming my face, and it's...

24K Gold Acupressure Ear Seeds

$34 Amazon »

These luxe Acupressure Ear Seeds will help you strike gold twice as a gift to any woman on your holiday list. It will be like giving her fancy 24K gold jewelry and glorious relief from her pain, tension, and anxiety...

Ear Tsubo Pressure Point Cat Massagers

Everyone knows nothing stimulates pressure points and releases tension like playing with a kitty. Yours, someone else's, it really doesn't matter. But what might surprise you here is that in order to play with these kitties...

Kailo Nanotech Bio-Antenna Pain Patch

$119 Amazon »

Kailo Patch: a giant nanotech pain in my ass, or a miracle solution for the giant pain in my decidedly not-nano ass? The nanocapacitor-packed patch Kailo makers say acts as a "bio-antenna" to turn off pain wherever you...